Gay Guy Needs Advice

One's evil! The other is... also evil. Evil Josh and Billy!

Moderator: John Berry

Gay Guy Needs Advice

Postby suncrafter on Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:27 am

I have a funny advice column called "Ask Da Orcs" (It is like "Dear Abby", but... er... with Orcs.)

A short time ago I got an email from a 16 year old kid who thinks he might be gay. He seems rather upset about it and I want him to get some good advice for a change. I'm at a loss as to what to say to this poor kid. Here is the email he wrote:

"Dear Orcs, I'm a 16 year old human male and I'm scared. I am scared because I'm afraid that I might be gay. I like some of my friends who are boys and that bothers me a LOT. I WANT to like girls. But I have feelings for some of my friends who are boys and not for any of my friends that are girls. (Like that deep feeling in our stomach kind of feeling.) I find myself being sad a lot... Not just because I'm scared that I like boys, but also that I can't be with any of them. I'm sure it sounds weird but I'm scared and it makes me cry. I don't know what to do about these feelings. I don't wanna sound wimpy, because I'm not, but this is the only thing that's ever made me this upset. There is one friend in particular that I like and I don't know if I should talk to him or get to know him better because I've only known him a short while. Should I tell him how I feel? If so, how? Thank you and sorry if I was rambling."
- "Scared"

Can anyone here think of some good advice the "Ask Da Orcs" panel could give to this kid? The 6 Orcs on the A.D.O. panel are a diverse group, so any material will "fit" one or more of the characters. I'd be particularly interested in anyone with advice that might be helpful to this guy, but I'd also like to hear any funny, gross, intellectual or silly responses you might have too. (As I said, it is a diverse panel of Orcs.)
http://www.orcmagazine.com/ORC_MAGAZINE ... _Orcs.html

.
Proud webmaster of:
"Orc Magazine"
Please visit my Forum too!
User avatar
suncrafter
Keenspotter Supreme
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:10 pm

Postby Propellerhead on Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:55 am

My friend had problems like this, he talked to some gay friends about it, it helped.... but I don't know how...
User avatar
Propellerhead
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 3671
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:54 am
Location: Octopus mode!

Postby Biosin on Sun Sep 03, 2006 7:16 pm

Tell him to kill himself. He no longer has anything left to live for.
Image
The Hat Man wrote:hey, which episode was it where Joel was all "a black person in bonus stage?"

For shame Hat Man.
Biosin
Grand Poobah Keenspotter
 
Posts: 435
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2005 11:58 am

Postby Stickman on Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:22 pm

Thank God you're here, Captain Spammer! We need you to shut the hell up and jump off a bridge

In whatever order
What the hell is the internet
User avatar
Stickman
Keenspot Despot
 
Posts: 2405
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:59 am
Location: :noitacoL

Re: Gay Guy Needs Advice

Postby fattymattk on Wed Sep 06, 2006 12:45 pm

suncrafter wrote:I have a funny advice column called "Ask Da Orcs" (It is like "Dear Abby", but... er... with Orcs.)

A short time ago I got an email from a 16 year old kid who thinks he might be gay. He seems rather upset about it and I want him to get some good advice for a change. I'm at a loss as to what to say to this poor kid. Here is the email he wrote:

"Dear Orcs, I'm a 16 year old human male and I'm scared. I am scared because I'm afraid that I might be gay. I like some of my friends who are boys and that bothers me a LOT. I WANT to like girls. But I have feelings for some of my friends who are boys and not for any of my friends that are girls. (Like that deep feeling in our stomach kind of feeling.) I find myself being sad a lot... Not just because I'm scared that I like boys, but also that I can't be with any of them. I'm sure it sounds weird but I'm scared and it makes me cry. I don't know what to do about these feelings. I don't wanna sound wimpy, because I'm not, but this is the only thing that's ever made me this upset. There is one friend in particular that I like and I don't know if I should talk to him or get to know him better because I've only known him a short while. Should I tell him how I feel? If so, how? Thank you and sorry if I was rambling."
- "Scared"

Can anyone here think of some good advice the "Ask Da Orcs" panel could give to this kid? The 6 Orcs on the A.D.O. panel are a diverse group, so any material will "fit" one or more of the characters. I'd be particularly interested in anyone with advice that might be helpful to this guy, but I'd also like to hear any funny, gross, intellectual or silly responses you might have too. (As I said, it is a diverse panel of Orcs.)
http://www.orcmagazine.com/ORC_MAGAZINE ... _Orcs.html

.


If you're 16 years old and you don't like girls, you're probably gay. There's nothing wrong with this, of course, but I'm sure it's very awkward. Talk to your friend about girls. It should become quickly obvious whether he is interested in them or not. If he is, he's not gay, and telling him that you have feelings for him isn't going to accomplish anything. It'll just make things awkward. It's hard to bury those feelings, but remember that everyone goes through the same thing, whether they are gay or not. We all have crushes with whom we have no chance, and we just have to live with it. Do what everyone else does: shut your bedroom door, lay on your bed, imagine the object of your affection naked, and masturbate.
User avatar
fattymattk
Keenspotter Supreme
 
Posts: 204
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 5:46 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Gay Guy Needs Advice

Postby suncrafter on Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:53 pm

fattymattk wrote:
suncrafter wrote:I have a funny advice column called "Ask Da Orcs" (It is like "Dear Abby", but... er... with Orcs.)

A short time ago I got an email from a 16 year old kid who thinks he might be gay. He seems rather upset about it and I want him to get some good advice for a change. I'm at a loss as to what to say to this poor kid. Here is the email he wrote:

"Dear Orcs, I'm a 16 year old human male and I'm scared. I am scared because I'm afraid that I might be gay. I like some of my friends who are boys and that bothers me a LOT. I WANT to like girls. But I have feelings for some of my friends who are boys and not for any of my friends that are girls. (Like that deep feeling in our stomach kind of feeling.) I find myself being sad a lot... Not just because I'm scared that I like boys, but also that I can't be with any of them. I'm sure it sounds weird but I'm scared and it makes me cry. I don't know what to do about these feelings. I don't wanna sound wimpy, because I'm not, but this is the only thing that's ever made me this upset. There is one friend in particular that I like and I don't know if I should talk to him or get to know him better because I've only known him a short while. Should I tell him how I feel? If so, how? Thank you and sorry if I was rambling."
- "Scared"

Can anyone here think of some good advice the "Ask Da Orcs" panel could give to this kid? The 6 Orcs on the A.D.O. panel are a diverse group, so any material will "fit" one or more of the characters. I'd be particularly interested in anyone with advice that might be helpful to this guy, but I'd also like to hear any funny, gross, intellectual or silly responses you might have too. (As I said, it is a diverse panel of Orcs.)
http://www.orcmagazine.com/ORC_MAGAZINE ... _Orcs.html

.


If you're 16 years old and you don't like girls, you're probably gay. There's nothing wrong with this, of course, but I'm sure it's very awkward. Talk to your friend about girls. It should become quickly obvious whether he is interested in them or not. If he is, he's not gay, and telling him that you have feelings for him isn't going to accomplish anything. It'll just make things awkward. It's hard to bury those feelings, but remember that everyone goes through the same thing, whether they are gay or not. We all have crushes with whom we have no chance, and we just have to live with it. Do what everyone else does: shut your bedroom door, lay on your bed, imagine the object of your affection naked, and masturbate.


That's good! Thank you. I might use that. :D
User avatar
suncrafter
Keenspotter Supreme
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:10 pm

Postby Spoons on Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:21 pm

Like acne and puberty, it cant be helped.

The sad side-effect of being gay is it usually isnt backwards compatible, meaning not everyboy is gay, so your pickings are slim. While many women are compatible with boys.

If he really wants to find out, tell him to wait it out.
User avatar
Spoons
Keenspotter Supreme
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2005 7:14 pm

Re: Gay Guy Needs Advice

Postby TheUnitedStupids on Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:05 pm

fattymattk wrote:Talk to your friend about girls. It should become quickly obvious whether he is interested in them or not. If he is, he's not gay


But he could be bi.
Me: Bob Saget? Al Gore? Bill Cosby?
Larissa: No, Brittany.
Me: i was close :s
TheUnitedStupids
Keenspotter Supreme
 
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:12 pm

 

Return to Evil Josh and Billy

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron