Poor Ryan!

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Postby Justice on Tue May 08, 2001 12:16 am

Deedee sounds awfully confused about her previous love life, so it's almost definately something complex and multifaceted, and now Ryan's trying to look at it as a logic puzzle? Poor guy. He's going to end up spending all his time digging into miserable stuff that obviously Dee doesn't feel like revealing yet. That just sucks.
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Postby Sterling on Tue May 08, 2001 2:28 am

Kaoru:
Rewrite my statement as: "If he can't understand, from the conversations he's had, that she's not ready to talk about things yet, still having been too recently hurt....". <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/tongue.gif"><P>------------------
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Postby Sterling on Tue May 08, 2001 4:04 am

Yeah, poor Ryan indeed. That is exactly the wrong way to approach this kind of thing. If she doesn't feel that she's ready to talk about it yet, then she's most likely not ready to talk about it yet.<P>I'd say poor Deirdre too... From what we've seen, it looked to me like she was depending on Ryan for companionship, as no-one else in Avalon is being especially friendly towards her.
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Postby Darth Paradox on Tue May 08, 2001 5:36 am

I think Ryan's problem isn't that she's not opening up per se, but rather that she's not exactly being honest (in his perception).<P>He's still doing the right thing, whatever else he might be <i>thinking</i>...
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Postby Dynonychus on Tue May 08, 2001 9:04 am

Actually, I think he handled it pretty well. He brought it out in the open, but he didn't pressure her for details; she said "no" and he said "okay". End of story, pretty much. And yeah, he's disappointed, but... you have that. It happens, and then you move past it.<P>But there IS something that needs to be settled between them if they <I>are</I> to get completely past it. Not Patrick, but Deirdre. I've seen many people comment about how up-front and honest Ryan's been, but here Deirdre's not exactly returning the favour. Here is something she <I>needs</I> to discuss, because she obviously has some issues with it... and she can't really talk to Ryan. I mean, it <I>can't</I> be easy to discuss your feelings for an old boyfriend with your current one... it usually makes you <I>both</I> feel uncomfortable.<P>So, <I>YES</I> she needs to open up more, but I think Ryan's doing the right thing by letting her come to it in her own time. And he may be disappointed right now, but I have a feeling he'll get over it. C'est la vie...<P>------------------
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Postby Sterling on Tue May 08, 2001 9:28 am

I hope he'll be able to get over it... If he can't understand why she isn't ready yet, he's a good deal less mature than I'd originally pegged him as.<P>------------------
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Postby Kaoru on Tue May 08, 2001 10:39 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sterling:
<B>I hope he'll be able to get over it... If he can't understand why she isn't ready yet, he's a good deal less mature than I'd originally pegged him as.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>How <B>can</B> he understand?
Facts are that Deirdre had said she was wrong about Patrick being a decent guy, also that she looked up to him and that their(Dee & Pat) relationship had to end cause she had to move for reasons not yet stated. That's not enough info to understand anything. There's too much of the puzzle missing to make even a half-assed assumption from that.<P>The cornerstone of a good relationship is communication. When one or both start holding things back then misunderstandings develop, then frustrations, then anger, and finally one or both will decide that being unhappy isn't worth it and break off the relationship.<P>So I'd say that Ryan <I>is</I> being mature by trying to open the lines of communication. He is also being mature by not forcing Deirdre to open up.
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