Expedition to Find Josh

Canadian teenagers jus' kickin' it 24/7.

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Postby ChaosReactor on Mon Apr 30, 2001 7:43 am

Josh is AWOL, us in the "Society for Finding Josh" believe that he is roaming the Tundra. Reports claim a disgruntled young man shouting to a crowd of people, "I CAN FIND TUNDRA PETE! I DEFY YOU TO STOP ME YOU LEEGheads!!!" leads us to believe that our hypothesis is true. I will lead a team into the tundra to find Josh, who wants to come with me? Oh, someone find us an inflatable raft and an gas powered fan. <P>
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Postby MizuGoddess on Mon Apr 30, 2001 7:45 am

Well, I have an inflatable raft that holds 3 people... I'm not much help on the supply front, but i'm willing to comb the Tundra. Come on people! Join the Search For Josh!
~Mizu, a staunch SFJ supporter<P>------------------
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--Avalon Code 1.01-------
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Postby RevSam on Mon Apr 30, 2001 7:50 am

Although I normmaly only lurk in the forums, I feel I must speak up, and point out your error. Josh is not in the tundra, he was sucked into the comic! He is now living in the world he created, and can't get out. One of us must go in and get him back!
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Postby Strangeone on Mon Apr 30, 2001 7:52 am

*Dons pith helmet and jumps in an old Panzer tank.*<P>Let the search begin!
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Postby folken-fanel on Mon Apr 30, 2001 7:54 am

I'd probably say get a life, but then again, I've been logged into #avalon for over a week now, and my irc client has been running for almost a month straight.<P>But then again, I don't necessarily need to be at the computer to accomplish this. <P>Bah. Just someone change the topic in #avalon to include the word "update" when he finally does update though please?
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Postby ChaosReactor on Mon Apr 30, 2001 7:59 am

Does the tank have an 8-track or CD-Player?
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Postby Strangeone on Mon Apr 30, 2001 8:03 am

CD player, with leather interior. I always blow danger away in style!
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Postby The Paco on Mon Apr 30, 2001 8:03 am

*The Paco and The One True Paco jump on a marine issue KLR650 motorcycle and go after the panzer.*<P>
WOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAHHHH ROCK! ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK *WHAM* PEBBLES!<P>ONWARD TOWARD THE FUTURE, FOR WE MAY NEVER PASS IT AGAIN!<P>FREEEEEDOOOOOMMMMM! Except for Josh....<P>------------------
*WARNING* Please note, that while this message may have a seemingly valid point, it is laced with inflammable material and is dangerous to any and or all humans who read it, including those with no (0) life, those with no (0) humor, those who are much too tense(+12.3:1), those with high blood pressure, those with mental defect causing them to think everything is about them, those with too much time on their hands, those concerned with political anything, those afilliated with any kind of social/political/animal rights groups, small children, the elderly, farm animals, Richard Simmons, most small kitchen appliances, most large American automobiles, Kelly's left nut, some smaller species of mammals and/or lizards, and just about anyone with a bug far enough up their ass to be offended and little enough life to be trolling around here for something to be offended by.<P>This warning is not an admission of anything, except amazement that you are still reading after all this time, we at AzzK'kr INC. (C)(TM)(R) are not responsible for anything at all, reading this message is an admission of guilt to any damn thing we want to lay against you, and anything you do/say can and will be used against you in a beastiality porn film.
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Postby ChaosReactor on Mon Apr 30, 2001 8:08 am

/me puts Battleflag - LoFiA in the CD player and says "We Ride! The rest shall take the ChaosCopter!"<P>
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Postby Darth Paradox on Mon Apr 30, 2001 8:47 am

<i>*Darth Paradox stood, his three probes floating before him. He spoke softly to their AIs.*</i><P>Find Josh Phillips. He is needed to complete my plan. Bring him... back to Avalon.<P><i>*The probes fly off, searching the vast tundra. Darth got on his SithCycle (TM) and began covering the area with a visual and infrared scan.*</i>
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Postby Chief_Petty_Officer_Klerk on Mon Apr 30, 2001 8:53 am

I jump in my T-80 Main Battle Tank (You can buy anything in Russia for the right money)and floor it to catch up with ChaosRactor and strangeone! <P><font size=25>CHARGE!!!</font>
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Postby krowgoat on Mon Apr 30, 2001 9:25 am

Krowgoat was sitting in his study one evening, reading an ancient Elven text called "On the Nature of Nature", when his loyal servant (named Carl) brought him some jasmine-green tea.
"Thank you, Carl," said Krowgoat with only partial attention.
"My pleasure, sir," replied Carl.
And so, Krowgoat continued to read the ancient Elven text whilst Carl continued to stand there.<P>After about 5 minutes had passed, Krowgoat, that old breaker of horses and rescuer of dames, finally noticed that Carl was still standing there.
"Oh, uh, is there anything else, Carl?" asked Krowgoat, his attention finally drawn from the ancient runes.
"Yes sir," replied Carl, "there is the matter of a message you recieved a few moments ago."
"Well, what message is that?" asked Krowgoat.
"Sir, I do not know...it would be against my duties as a servant to have read the message."
"Well, then give it to me."
And so, Carl, in all his butlery wisdom, handed Krowgoat the message. Krowgoat opened it with haste, and read the contents:<P>Dear Sir,<P>I know that you have been in retirement for a little while now, but I thought that it would be prudent to alert you as to the following matter. A quest has been called by the Bishop of Avalon. An old acquaintance of yours, one Josh Phillips, has disappeared in the Tundra. The Bishop, and other experts on such occurances, suspect that strong magics are at work here, no doubt driving the poor old fellow into a fit of madness. Though no one is sure as to the source or nature of the spell, there are suspicions that the Lynchers of Avalon, that old group of anarchy and Necromancy, are at work here. Your services have not been called upon specifically, but there are rumblings in the area that this quest shall be a most harrowing one, and there is worry that it may fail. As it were, your services, though not having been requested, would most certainly be welcomed. We know that you have fought long and hard over the years, having completed many quests, and though you have retired, we should hope that you might find room in your life for one more. Once again, there is no need to feel obligated to join in the search, however, I thought it would be prudent to tell you of the goings-on.<P>Sincerely,
Father Don Julius, Praetor of the Council of Fighting Friars, and a maker of fine Spirits.<P>
Krowgoat put the note down, his hand hitting the table with a light thump. He took in quite the deep breath and a grave look feel upon his face.
"Trouble, sir?" inquired Carl.
"Aye, trouble indeed....trouble of the worst kind. An old friend is in trouble. No one knows quite what has happened, and so, a quest has been called to search out the answers to the problem."
"Problem, sir?"
"Aye...Josh Phillips, that wonderful Bard of Avalon, has disappeared. No one is knows of his whereabouts, or even why he is gone. It could be as small as a cold which has deabilitated him to the point of keeping him from his daily bardic actions. It could be as grave as a spell that has cast his mind from him, leaving him to the jaws of madness. Nevertheless, I must join this quest....I must aid them. Josh has done so much for me in the past, it is time that I returned the favor. Ready my horse, gather some supplies, and bring me my sword....I am off for one last time!"
"Of course, sir."<P>And so, Carl prepared Krowgoat's things. His horse was fed and cleaned, a stock of supplies was put in his saddle bag, and his sturdy and sharp sabre was removed from its resting place above the fire place. This all having been done, Krowgoat mounted his steed, trusty Penelope, and rode off to the land of Avalon to join one final quest. He could only hope that his sabre and skill would add to the search and that all, in the end, would be well.<P>[This message has been edited by krowgoat (edited 04-30-2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by krowgoat (edited 04-30-2001).]
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Postby Lemming1st on Mon Apr 30, 2001 9:47 am

Well, I suppose you could count me in. Ain't got nothing better to do. You can keep the tanks though. I'll strike it out on foot and search the cliffs of the Tundra. These battered boots know these cliffs better than the rocks that dwell on them.<P>Fellow Quester: "Man, he's not on this one. It'll take us forever to get to the next cliff."<P>Lemming: "Don't worry, I know a shortcut."<P>------------------
Always follow yer heart, cuz no matter how screwed up yer mind may be, yer heart always knows what's right
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Postby Lady Mer on Mon Apr 30, 2001 10:54 am

*Throws Wagner into the CD player and leaps onto her flying horse with a pair of binoculars in hand*<P>Up up and away! We shall find him wherever he hides!
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Postby All-Purpose Guru on Tue May 01, 2001 12:42 am

Descending the ramp, Kevlar, the All-Purpose Guru, calls up his AI.<P><B>"Fire up the Griffin."</B><P>Deep below, 4 Allison turbofans begin to spin up; sequencing computers preflight the operations systems, sending systems status into the craft's telltales.<P>A quick glance at the logs, where the weaponry and countermeasures are, of course, the first to be checked, and Kevlar nods, satisfied.<P><B>"Ready for launch."</B><P>The engines speed to a ear-splitting shriek. Blast doors open in the back of the subterranean cave, venting hot gases down into the deep recesses below.<P><B>"Launch."</B><P>Kevlar slams back into his seat, the harnesses automatically contracting to his lean, muscular form. The lava tube races by the windows, faster and faster, until the craft bursts out into the light of day. Just above the vent in the ground, the ship crosses the sound barrier; with the exception of the wildlife, not a soul notices.<P><B>"Lay in a course, due north, cruising altitude. Bring up Josh Phillips' signatures on the sensors, and run a full comparison sweep once we cross the border. We must find him."</B><P>As Kevlar sits back in his seat and contemplates the job ahead of him and his compatriots, he sees Josh Phillips' vital signs load into the sensor comparator. The long range scanner begins its muted <I>phweep...phweep...phweep</I> as it scans the desolate landscape.<P>Kevlar sighs...<P>
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Postby Chief_Petty_Officer_Klerk on Tue May 01, 2001 1:41 am

I note that we now have 1 WWII German vintage tank, 1 1980's vintage Russian Tank, 1 Raft that holds 3 people, 1 Marine issue KLR650 Motorcycle, 1 ChaosCopter, 1x 3 probes floating things, 1 horse with rider, 1 person on foot, 1 flying horse and rider, 1 squad of Robotic Dolpins with oppisite thumbs, 1 Griffin Aircraft thing, and a Regiment of extreamly motavated Special Air Services!<p>[This message has been edited by Chief_Petty_Officer_Klerk (edited 05-01-2001).]
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Postby Chief_Petty_Officer_Klerk on Tue May 01, 2001 1:45 am

I think that we need to get more people on foot! So I call in the 3 Regiment of the Australian Special Air Service (SAS).<P>I call them to attention. scour these woods! leave no rock unturned! Come back empty handed and I will personally see that you are docked 3 months pay and no family contact for 4 months as well! MOVE OUT!<P>I hop back into my T-80 MBT and chase after Strangeone!<P>------------------
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Postby Symok on Tue May 01, 2001 2:43 am

*pokes the various newbies*<P>You people ARE aware of just how *BIG* the tundra is right? <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/biggrin.gif"><P>Ahh well, count me in!<P><I>Symok pulls out his frame pack, ground sheet, sleeping bag and other camping gear. After examaning his jacket, he decides to go out and purchase a parka for the expidition. Symok gathers together a number of supplies that will be needed and prepares to head out...</I>
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Postby Sterling on Tue May 01, 2001 4:05 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BanditAngel:
<B>OOC: Just an FYI, ignore the ravings from the #avalon cabal, who claim to have found Josh in a binary file.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes. Everyone knows that Josh is a rather large, incredibly obfuscated Perl script.<P>If anything, today's comic just confirms that Josh has somehow been abducted. Perhaps NotJosh came out of the mirror universe and took over the comic? <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/wink.gif">
<P>------------------
-Sterling
Check out Larswood MUCK: <A HREF="http://www.larswood.com/lwmuck/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.larswood.com/lwmuck/index.htm</A> <P>---Begin Avalon Code V1.00---
R++ S F+ IRC FA-- GA- FF LY+(++) F{ R>++ D>++ MRB+ } rR++(+++) PSL-- P{ DR+++ CJ++ LI+ } a d- B[s{h:w:r}:eBrg:hBk] LS[e(++):h!:y] L{ca} !W
---End Avalon Code---
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Postby Kaoru on Tue May 01, 2001 4:13 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sterling:
<B> Yes. Everyone knows that Josh is a rather large, incredibly obfuscated Perl script.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I thought that Josh was 700,000+ lines of uncompiled source code for a program that uses a super neuralnet AI and can write and draw Avalon strips with subliminal messages in them?<p>[This message has been edited by Kaoru (edited 05-01-2001).]
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Postby Myriad on Tue May 01, 2001 4:17 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kaoru:
<B> I thought that Josh was 700,000+ lines of uncompiled source code for a program that could write and draw Avalon strips with subliminal messages in them?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>No, don't be silly. Josh isn't the source code, he's actually the subliminal message. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/biggrin.gif"><P>-myriad-<P><P>------------------
I fear that I will die before I tell all the stories I have in me.
-- Harlan Ellison.
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Postby Sterling on Tue May 01, 2001 4:17 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kaoru:
<B> I thought that Josh was 700,000+ lines of uncompiled source code for a program that could write and draw Avalon strips with subliminal messages in them?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Nah. Has to be a Perl script. Few other things do string parsing well enough, and Perl's got interfaces to act as a plugin for The GIMP. (Hmmm.... Josh GIMP plugin... An intruiging concept....) Besides, Perl is pre-obfuscated by nature. Can you imagine how wierd it would be to read if someone were intentionally obfuscating it? <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/eek.gif"><P>Although I suppose he could have some bits written in LISP or Forth, if absolutely necessary. But only to enhance the twistiness.
<P>------------------
-Sterling
Check out Larswood MUCK: <A HREF="http://www.larswood.com/lwmuck/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.larswood.com/lwmuck/index.htm</A> <P>---Begin Avalon Code V1.00---
R++ S F+ IRC FA-- GA- FF LY+(++) F{ R>++ D>++ MRB+ } rR++(+++) PSL-- P{ DR+++ CJ++ LI+ } a d- B[s{h:w:r}:eBrg:hBk] LS[e(++):h!:y] L{ca} !W
---End Avalon Code---
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Postby Kaoru on Tue May 01, 2001 4:19 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Myriad:
<B> No, don't be silly. Josh isn't the source code, he's actually the subliminal message. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/biggrin.gif"><P>-myriad-
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Of course, my mistake. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/biggrin.gif">
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Postby Slappy the Stick on Tue May 01, 2001 7:06 am

You know, I used to worry that the people on the Avalon forum were a crazied bunch of loonies. But, after reading this thread, I worry no more.<P>I know you are. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/biggrin.gif"><P>------------------
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-- me
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Postby Dynonychus on Tue May 01, 2001 7:39 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chief_Petty_Officer_Klerk:
[B]I jump in my T-80 Main Battle Tank (You can buy anything in Russia for the right money)[B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes... even with Australian currency <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/tongue.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/biggrin.gif"><P>------------------
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