[FANFIC] Nothing at All - by DasteRoad

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[FANFIC] Nothing at All - by DasteRoad

Postby DasteRoad on Sun Jun 11, 2006 11:46 pm

Hello there
Last edited by DasteRoad on Wed Jun 21, 2006 4:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [FANFIC] Nothing at All - by DasteRoad

Postby Q99 on Mon Jun 12, 2006 3:48 am

Nice! I think you captured their respective anxieties well :) Their worry, dread on what was coming up... definitely an interesting fic.
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Postby AlmostReadytoFly on Mon Jun 12, 2006 8:12 am

This is really good. I like how you brought in Sarah noticing that she's "unremarkable".

The only thing I could pick at would be to say I never imagined Tedd having a "thin" voice. The rest was great. I wouldn't have guessed it was translated into a foreign language.
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Postby azrael_2001 on Mon Jun 12, 2006 3:21 pm

Mmm... Milk and strawberries... I don't know whether to kis her or eat her...




Of course, I could do both...



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Postby WerePigeon467 on Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:38 am

Brilliant, DasteRoad!!!!! :D :D *said with the same face mGrace did when he saw Ellen and mNanase going to the living room* (like this, in the fourth panel)

I liked very much when you described Elliot's feelings etc before phoning Tedd and when he suddenly decides to not tell anything.

I loved the part about Sarah, the last one. Because you described *very* well how she feels, when she draws and feels free and distant from the world ('cause everyone can find himself into that situation, with different actions or hobbies), and also when begins to understand what's the problem and then gets the effects on herself: that's a way many people feel, but describing it like this is a brilliant work, for me.

Remember what I did when I read your first EGS ff, that one about Grace :shifty:
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Postby DasteRoad on Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:00 am

Q99 wrote:Nice! I think you captured their respective anxieties well :) Their worry, dread on what was coming up... definitely an interesting fic.

Thank you :oops:
Since the starting comic is so early in EGS, this ff was a lot like a game of "filling in the blanks"... but it was fun :)

AlmostReadytoFly wrote:This is really good. I like how you brought in Sarah noticing that she's "unremarkable".

It was suggested by Nanase's very clever remarks in this comic (third panel). I ended up wondering: how could it feel to be ignored that way? The answer is "unremarkable". He really cannot notice me because I'm totally uninteresting, it's not his fault - thinks poor Sarah in very-low-self-esteem mode.

AlmostReadytoFly wrote:The only thing I could pick at would be to say I never imagined Tedd having a "thin" voice.

"Thin" is probably not the best term. The closest thing I've heard to my own idea of Tedd's voice, is this:
Crazy World (EGS theme)
It's a very nice song written and performed by Seth Jeffery about El Goonish Shive. Seth posts in keenforums under the nickname cyberseth, and in my imagination, Tedd's voice is very similar to his, only a bit more scarred.

azrael_2001 wrote:Mmm... Milk and strawberries... I don't know whether to kis her or eat her...

Sarah may very well be Unremarkable Girl (most of all in *her* opinion), but she's plainly adorable. You don't know how much I would like to hit Elliot with a blunt object, in that scene, for not hugging/cuddling the poor girl as she rested her head on his shoulder. Stupid boy :x

WerePigeon467 wrote:I liked very much when you described Elliot's feelings etc before phoning Tedd and when he suddenly decides to not tell anything.

I loved the part about Sarah, the last one. Because you described *very* well how she feels, when she draws and feels free and distant from the world ('cause everyone can find himself into that situation, with different actions or hobbies), and also when begins to understand what's the problem and then gets the effects on herself: that's a way many people feel, but describing it like this is a brilliant work, for me.

My sweet little sisteeeeer :oops:
*DasteRoad glomps WerePigeon crying with happiness - and a bit of sillyness*

WerePigeon467 wrote:Remember what I did when I read your first EGS ff, that one about Grace :shifty:

You're talking with the one who wrote it and was about to burst to tears while re-reading it :shifty:
So I remember. Never be ashamed of your reactions little sister, most of all in front of good ol' crazy DasteRoad :)
*DasteRoad sends big kisses to WerePigeon*
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Postby WerePigeon467 on Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:48 am

DasteRoad wrote:My sweet little sisteeeeer :oops:
*DasteRoad glomps WerePigeon crying with happiness - and a bit of sillyness*


*WerePigeon becomes very pale and then blue, since DasteRoad is glomping her too tightly*

DasteRoad wrote:You're talking with the one who wrote it and was about to burst to tears while re-reading it :shifty:
So I remember. Never be ashamed of your reactions little sister, most of all in front of good ol' crazy DasteRoad :)
*DasteRoad sends big kisses to WerePigeon*


I remember it. Your last sentence is for you, too :)

"Thanks for the kisses!" *WerePigeon tries to catch invisible kisses in the air with an idiot face, but she falls on the ground and loses some teeth hitting a wall*
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Postby 10.0.0.1 on Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:00 am

poor, poor Sarah. I'll admit to getting a little chocked up during the part where she was thinking herself 'unremarkable'.
You want to just reach in there and tell her she is special and needs to stop beating herself up.
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Postby Free Radical on Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:02 am

That's very well written, in particular I found Sarah's perspective very moving. All the effort she went to trying to get Elliot to notice her with seemingly no result, and then reaching the conclusion that there was nothing more she could do, that she was just unremarkable. So sad...
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Postby DasteRoad on Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:05 am

10.0.0.1 wrote:poor, poor Sarah. I'll admit to getting a little chocked up during the part where she was thinking herself 'unremarkable'.
You want to just reach in there and tell her she is special and needs to stop beating herself up.

I felt a bit silly as my eyes filled with tears while I was translating it. I don't know why, but I felt it so *real*. The "I'm not a wrong or unpleasant girl, I'm just a girl that cannot be noticed" self-destructive conclusion most of all went to my guts: there's a lot of me as a teen in there. I'm just glad that I stopped being a teen several years ago and I no longer have self-esteem issues, because I remember it didn't feel good :nervous:

Free Radical wrote:That's very well written, in particular I found Sarah's perspective very moving. All the effort she went to trying to get Elliot to notice her with seemingly no result, and then reaching the conclusion that there was nothing more she could do, that she was just unremarkable.

Thank you, I'm glad some of Sarah's and my own emotions reached somebody else :)
That was the main reason that pulled me to write this fanfic. The very image of Sarah gathering all her courage to rest her head on Elliot's shoulder - and then he just does not move, with all her affection she doesn't get love or a refusal, she just gets indifference as an answer... well, it does feel very bad. "I don't understand what you want me to be" are the real truest words, I think... poor girl :(
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Postby Atashi-Cloud on Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:06 am

Yet again, you amaze us all with your grasp of the english language like none other, Daste...you've merited a 'fave slot' on my list of people's works to read.^^

as for the relations to Sarah, I believe it's easy to learn what her situation is like, but to put it so strongly, Daste, I believe it's defined by it to reveal a deeper meaning and urging in her part to be a part of Elliot's life...sorta like the person outside looking in, who wants a part of everything they see, yet no-one will confront them and allow them in. It's very emotional, and it hits home with all the meanings said and implied. I think this is slightly better(if not outstandingly improved) compared to the other you did of Grace and Tedd...of course, neither match up in true comparison, but your ability to figure out the useage of English for this is truly remarkably different from before. You've improved, and just as most authors, you will still improve as long as you keep going with your writing.

I'd also like to make a note that I personally felt very 'connected' to Sarah in your fanfic, as I can identify strongly with feeling 'unremarkable' and having others feel 'indifferent' about you. I know not many people say I'm unremarkable, but it can be said without saying so...after all, it happens the same here to Sarah, whereas it was all action instead of talking...after all, no-one would be able to stand being shown that they themselves are unremarkable in any way to the person they love...especially if they've known the person for a long time.

I'd suggest another story, but I feel as if my asking would make it worse...
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Postby DasteRoad on Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:58 am

Atashi-Cloud wrote:Yet again, you amaze us all with your grasp of the english language like none other, Daste...you've merited a 'fave slot' on my list of people's works to read.^^

Thank you :oops: (blushing a lot. Yes, I mean it)

Atashi-Cloud wrote:as for the relations to Sarah, I believe it's easy to learn what her situation is like, but to put it so strongly, Daste, I believe it's defined by it to reveal a deeper meaning and urging in her part to be a part of Elliot's life...sorta like the person outside looking in, who wants a part of everything they see, yet no-one will confront them and allow them in. It's very emotional, and it hits home with all the meanings said and implied.

It was challenging to write about this. Feeling that you may be a dear friend and confident, but not "something more", feeling that the person you love will not "open the door" and let you inside, as Ellen and her song would say, is indeed painful - and it doesn't really matter if time will tell this is not true: if you feel it that way (and Sarah feels it), then this is the truth now, and nothing else matters. It's not a matter of logic: it's a matter of knowing yourself and your limits - and not having enough self-esteem to lift your head and realize that you can, indeed, be loved :)

Atashi-Cloud wrote:I think this is slightly better(if not outstandingly improved) compared to the other you did of Grace and Tedd...of course, neither match up in true comparison, but your ability to figure out the useage of English for this is truly remarkably different from before. You've improved, and just as most authors, you will still improve as long as you keep going with your writing.

I had that feeling while writing and translating it. Somehow keeping on reading EGS, fantasizing about the characters and situations, writing on the forum - I think I have trained a lot in writing and, if something like that exists, *thinking* in English. The translation went indeed a lot easier, and I'm much more satisfied with this: this fanfic was a lot more difficult to write, while the first one came to me in a much more spontaneous way, but it was much more difficult to translate. As you said, a comparison between the two doesn't make much sense, but I felt there was a difference. Truly the best words would probably be: I have trained :)

Atashi-Cloud wrote:I'd also like to make a note that I personally felt very 'connected' to Sarah in your fanfic, as I can identify strongly with feeling 'unremarkable' and having others feel 'indifferent' about you. I know not many people say I'm unremarkable, but it can be said without saying so...after all, it happens the same here to Sarah, whereas it was all action instead of talking...after all, no-one would be able to stand being shown that they themselves are unremarkable in any way to the person they love...especially if they've known the person for a long time.

I felt the same things, and I must say I was about to cry towards the end while I was reading it to my sister (forum user WerePigeon467, a couple of posts above :P). I am somewhat connected to Sarah, a bit because Sara is indeed my name in "real life" (here in Italy there's no final "h" letter :wink:), a bit because some years ago, when I was very, *very* low on self-esteem, I felt like her: unremarkable. There were many differences, of course, because Sarah's situation is worsened by her being in love, and apparently ignored, but there were some points in common. I felt useless, uninteresting, plain, in a word: invisible, and unable to speak my mind and/or stand up for what I believed.
Many things changed in time, of course, and I understood many more things about myself. I understood that I can really be invisible only if *I* choose to be, and that most of the time this is fine with me... I learnt to like what I am, and to know that I'm not unremarkable: I just choose who I want to see what I really am. But still, in Sarah I can see many things of me as a teen... and it's a bitter experience.

I'm glad, however, that you knew precisely what I meant :)

Atashi-Cloud wrote:I'd suggest another story, but I feel as if my asking would make it worse...

I'd be very flattered if you suggested it, so be careful :P
I still have many ideas I didn't write down yet, and that I'll work upon.
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Postby WerePigeon467 on Tue Jun 13, 2006 1:44 pm

DasteRoad wrote:I felt the same things, and I must say I was about to cry towards the end while I was reading it to my sister (forum user WerePigeon467, a couple of posts above :P). I am somewhat connected to Sarah, a bit because Sara is indeed my name in "real life" (here in Italy there's no final "h" letter :wink:), a bit because some years ago, when I was very, *very* low on self-esteem, I felt like her: unremarkable. There were many differences, of course, because Sarah's situation is worsened by her being in love, and apparently ignored, but there were some points in common. I felt useless, uninteresting, plain, in a word: invisible, and unable to speak my mind and/or stand up for what I believed.


I can't say anything right now :( I don't know, I'm sad for you?

Maybe I realized that I liked Sarah's part so much because it remembered me of you :shifty: Really, don't get angry... That's a good thing...

DasteRoad wrote:I learnt to like what I am, and to know that I'm not unremarkable: I just choose who I want to see what I really am. But still, in Sarah I can see many things of me as a teen... and it's a bitter experience.


I think the perfect line here would be: "It's not who I am, but I know that it's all that you see". Maybe Sarah (and Sara :wink: ) wants to change, at the beginning, to become someone else she thought Elliot might like. But only after a while, she understands, like Sara, that there's no need to change.

Never change, sister :) People must like you as the wonderful person you are.
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Postby DasteRoad on Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:47 am

WerePigeon467 wrote:Never change, sister :) People must like you as the wonderful person you are.

:o

......

My favourite pigeon-sister!!! :oops:
*glomps WerePigeon again making loud purring noises*
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Postby WerePigeon467 on Wed Jun 14, 2006 7:18 am

DasteRoad wrote:My favourite pigeon-sister!!! :oops:
*glomps WerePigeon again making loud purring noises*


:D *lifts up a sign with "I LIKE BEING GLOMPED" written on it*
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Postby DasteRoad on Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:57 am

WerePigeon467 wrote:
DasteRoad wrote:My favourite pigeon-sister!!! :oops:
*glomps WerePigeon again making loud purring noises*


:D *lifts up a sign with "I LIKE BEING GLOMPED" written on it*

I hope you realize that this is a dangerous statement, around here :P
*keeps on glomping anyway*
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Postby WerePigeon467 on Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:13 am

DasteRoad wrote:I hope you realize that this is a dangerous statement, around here :P
*keeps on glomping anyway*


Yeah, I know it, I must be careful, around here :shifty: Glomping people can be dangerous...
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Postby DasteRoad on Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:56 am

WerePigeon467 wrote:
DasteRoad wrote:I hope you realize that this is a dangerous statement, around here :P
*keeps on glomping anyway*


Yeah, I know it, I must be careful, around here :shifty: Glomping people can be dangerous...

"Dangerous people may be glompers" would be perhaps more fitting :lol:
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Postby Jake R on Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:13 am

Every time I started reading this, I was interrupted after a few lines, until now.

I love this. I want more Sarah and Elliot fanfics like this one. In fact I want more love for those two in general, they've been background characters for over a year now and it really annoys me =/

Mad props to DasteRoad anyway ^_^
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Postby DasteRoad on Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:55 am

Jake R wrote:Every time I started reading this, I was interrupted after a few lines, until now.

I love this. I want more Sarah and Elliot fanfics like this one. In fact I want more love for those two in general, they've been background characters for over a year now and it really annoys me =/

Mad props to DasteRoad anyway ^_^

Hey, thanks! :D

Your comment was really a pleasant surprise. Have you looked up CidGregor's fanfic Twin Envy? That's too about Sarah and Elliot, and it's pretty good.
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Postby CidGregor on Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:29 am

Heh, don't even have to pimp my own work anymore, not with you around!

I liked this story a lot. I'm a bigtime S/E fan for some reason, and it's interesting that you chose the background of that arc as the inspiration for the fic, very nice choice. These two really don't get enough love.

I'm too tired at the moment to say much more, but rest assured I enjoyed it, even though it's too late for my ability to articulate such things to function properly. *thumbs up*

And thanks again for the plug!

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Postby DasteRoad on Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:35 am

CidGregor wrote:Heh, don't even have to pimp my own work anymore, not with you around!

I liked this story a lot. I'm a bigtime S/E fan for some reason, and it's interesting that you chose the background of that arc as the inspiration for the fic, very nice choice. These two really don't get enough love.

I'm too tired at the moment to say much more, but rest assured I enjoyed it, even though it's too late for my ability to articulate such things to function properly. *thumbs up*

And thanks again for the plug!

-Cid

Heh, don't even think about it! :D
It's just that I really enjoyed reading your work, and knowing that Jake R is another great S/E fan, it seemed right to point him to "Twin Envy".

I chose those particular moments to write about Sarah and Elliot because, someway, *those* were the times when we needed to see them closer, and we didn't. The good side of all this is, of course, that it left a lot to my own imagination :wink:

Thankies, I'm glad you liked my story :D
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