War Threads (Head towards the light, remember your clothes.)

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War Threads (Head towards the light, remember your clothes.)

Postby sven8705 on Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:47 pm

Gentlemen, I am glad to see that you were all able to make it back to headquarters alive. Let us take a moment of silence for Goaty and goaty; they made a valiant effort and they damaged the enemy, but it appears that the Teenage Wastelands are lost.

*moment*

Now, as you may have heard, Dr. Ehrmann and Major Knave have committed their help to us in this dreadful war on Gal-Zabor. Major Knave, himself, has gone to Gal-Zabor on a secret mission and we have received footage of their tactics.

*Footage of FV5 Anti-Paragon*

The enemy is preparing to unleash this recruiter to neighboring countries and we are very fearful that it will work. We have no choice but to match their efforts. Are there any volunteers? Remember, your country needs you. Svensylsquatostan needs you.

(OOC: Any discussion/posts with no RPing should be directed here: War Off-Topic Discussion
Last edited by sven8705 on Wed Aug 08, 2007 8:17 pm, edited 28 times in total.
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Postby Quadraxis on Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:59 pm

Um... I guess I'm in because attacking people is fun, especially when they don't deseerve it. What? They do? Oh well, I'm still in.
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Postby Scotty on Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:02 am

War fuels the monument industry. Without war, we'd have very few monuments, and all those carvers and stonecrafters would be unemployable. Face it, it's not a very in-demand skillset.
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Postby sven8705 on Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:06 am

Thank you, General Quadraxis, if you pull this off you will receive the highest honor we can give you.

Gentlemen, the Transformation Gun.

*Two soldiers aim the gun at Quadraxis and hit him with FV5*

Your uniform is waiting in the room past that door. It's a little, ahem, well, it's a little.
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Postby Uite on Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:30 am

Would it be possible to get a recap of all the war efforts so far?
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Postby matthlord on Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:39 am

Ready for duty!!!!!!
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Postby clawlikedragon on Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:48 am

If we get to eventually kill kraggi, then i'm in,
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Postby matthlord on Fri Nov 11, 2005 2:29 am

What weapon do I get????Please be a mega-tank.
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Postby clawlikedragon on Fri Nov 11, 2005 2:29 am

i have a neo tank you could borrow if you want
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In the near future, I hope to own my own copy of brawl.

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Postby uberschveinen on Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:55 am

Bwahahaha! Dr. Baron von Evilsatan shall join the quest to rid the universe of that upstart irritance! But I shall be the one providing you with tools of destruction!

So, who wants something insanely powful?
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Postby dahoughtonuk on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:01 am

Well I do. But I'm staying neutral for the moment...
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Postby Kraggi on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:08 am

All my enemies arrayed into one glorious army. It would appear that Gal-Zabor has lost far before the war has even begun. But wait! What is that on the horizon! It's the porpose king! Just like last time, the nuclear porposes have answered the call of war! The drums of war shall thunder once again. Svensylsquatostan shall be but a pile of rubble by the new year. For Saaaaanjeee!!!

Ouch, I have a lot of enemies. Am I really that mean?
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Postby mixlas on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:14 am

death to kraggi!! :evilgrin: can i use a particle cannon?you know the one in command and conquer:generals:D




:P
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Postby dahoughtonuk on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:17 am

You see the price is too high for me to aid Kraggi....
And well I have had plenty of trouble with Sventsilay.
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Elled speak of trust. Yet, trust not the fallen, kin

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Elled, speak of trust, yet trust not the fallen kin


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Ellen: Oh, stop it. You thought he was cute too, ya know.
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Postby Kraggi on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:18 am

Yow, people don't like the kraggs. It appears that I have misunderestimated my unpopularity once again. No matter, the might of Gal-Zabor is supreme, and no meager forces arrayed against me by all the posters in the world cna match out numbers!

(C'mon guys, you don't have to be a zombie to join me, and having only 2 people on my side is kinda bad. Pretty please with extra sugar on top? We give cool hoodies to those who join us!)
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Postby mixlas on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:22 am

ah ok i'll be a double agent 8)
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Postby Kraggi on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:25 am

If you say you are a double agent it doesn't really work. But what the he! COngradulations, first posting Captain of Kraggi's Third Legion! You shall command that legion, and you shall be aided by the Sanje Disciple of the Tiger. Use your necromancy to enhance you legion. We must prepare for the battle ahead.
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Postby dahoughtonuk on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:25 am

Don't have to be a zombie. Good. Checks several things ans smiles evilly at Kraggi, and suggest some possible allies at which Kraggi bleaches his own brain.

D: OVereact much Kraggi?
Bastian Prophecy

Catkin:
Elled speak of trust. Yet, trust not the fallen, kin

Actual:
Elled, speak of trust, yet trust not the fallen kin


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Ellen: Oh, stop it. You thought he was cute too, ya know.
Elliot: YOU LIE!!!
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http://forums.keenspot.com/viewtopic.php?t=81177
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Postby Kraggi on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:27 am

Whatever gets us the recruits. If you are on my side please check out the battle plan in Carot.? so you know what is going on, and maybe the history of Gal-Zabor in Carot.?
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Postby mixlas on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:43 am

ahh necromancing powers eh?i shall command these bunch of npc first then we see:
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hmm should have resised it ah well
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Postby Grim Atescu on Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:07 am

Dark Grim: If you promise not to disrupt my plans, I'll ally with you. I have the Finns, the French, the Portugese, and the Colombians at my disposal (although the French nuclear arsenal is currently pointed at the major US nuclear sites.) Tell me, how many troops will I be expected to contribute to your cause, Fellow Overlord?
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Postby matthlord on Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:58 am

*comes riding in with a mega-tank*
"I'l be the tank commander!!!!"
*Rides over a horde of zombies.*
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Postby sven8705 on Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:02 pm

The war so far:

Kraggi, ever the illustrious one, decided one day to post the history of Gal-Zabor:
Kraggi wrote:Kraggi's two thousand psot extravaganza, with a summary of Gal-Zabor's history! (not the essay)
Sanje was origonaly a yoga marmot. Marmots are lithe creatures of mystical might, and Sanje was a fine example. He beleived that one could get in great shape with a combonation of Yoga and Necromancy, and he invented the now world renoun art of Yogomancy. Many beings flocked to his banner, but his greatest pupils were Skippy the monkey and myself. After many a year, Sanje went out for the first time and was brutally mugged and stabbed with a poisoned knife by an unkown assailant. At this time Sanje deemed that Yogomancy should be used to make a peaceful world of the living dead, with no war. His dying wish was for skippy and I to make the world peaceful in this fashion. Skippy and I raised a small army back in the 80s, and conquered new jersey. We kept it until we found records in an ancient temple referring to a second hell that could be unlocked only by the sacrifice of 100,000 humans. We then took htem from new Jersey to the gate of Gal-Zabor and conducted the ritual, and we became the masters of Gal-Zabor, and ushered int eh begining of the end. Skippy and I at first beleived that the next step would be to take over the world, but we encountered brutal reistance from all sides, and we needed Sanje's guidance. We melded souls, and then began the ritual of Post-Whoring that enabled his eventual ressurection. During this time period Anti-Paragon, second in command of the zombie forces, rose into favor with but a single wish, but he lost his soul in the process. First there was the revolt of Taluana, were a legion of zombies took the town of hearthglen and revolted against me. My retribution was swift and by sunrise the next day not one heathen stood. The brief war with stanosquatoslav was, in fact, a peaceful war were to shots were fired. After the post whoring thsoe wars required, Sanje was ready to come again. With sanje and his deciples with us, we beleived that the end of the war was in sight. The commie maid crisis of 05 was an international problem that started the near war with GA's imagination, which would have cost us greatly. There you have it folks, the recent history of Gal-Zabor. The ancient history of Gal-Zabor will probably be covered in my essay if I ever get that done.


All seemed good, but there was one egregious error: he didn't know the name of Svensylsquatostan. The leaders of Svensylsquatostan immediately took offense and naturally declared war on Gal-Zabor for insulting their honor. They immediately took up arms and marched toward the new hell under the pineapple, cheese and Bi-lo flag. Goaty, a triple-agent (also a goat), followed orders and went to tell Kraggi of the war. Kraggi launched a massive army and called upon the aid of the dinosaurs and Gal-Zabor's porpose allies (whatever those are).

Sven, knowing full well the power that Anti-Paragon - second-in-command to Kraggi - had, used some trickery to turn Anti-Paragon and KRaggi against each other. He banned Anti-Paragon for totally not being a Svensylsquatostanic spy and this enraged Kraggi. Kraggi himself then banned Anti-Paragon for being a spy and all seemed well for Sven. With Anti-Paragon gone, Kraggi sent his fat cat on a mission to smother Sven with his total furriness. He resigned himself to singing showtunes and sending out coded messages.

Sven, the intelligent person that he is, was able to decode those messages and sent troops down to the Teenage Wasteland to battle back against Kraggi's supposed ambush. Goaty revealed himself as an ally of Svensylsquatostan and led a goat army against Kraggi himself. Kraggi called upon Sanje, the yogomancy marmot, and Goaty realized who it was that had killed his father. Kraggi avoided the attack while Anti-Paragon revealed that he was still loyal to Sanje and he transformed goaty, Goaty's oddly named brother, into a zombie. Kraggi revealed to Goaty that Sanje hadn't killed his father but that Sanje actually was his father. He offered Goaty a chance to defect and serve under his command. Goaty wasn't fooled, he knew the evils that Gal-Zabor represented. Goaty and Kraggi faced off, Kraggi fighting with the Yogomancy aspect of the Crane and Goaty fighting with the Secret Goat Technique of the Himalayas. It seemed that the two were evenly matched but Goaty then realized what Anti-Paragon had done to goaty. Filled with anger, Goaty knocked Kraggi down and ran for AP. Kraggi, knowing that this was the only way to prove that he still trusted AP, dived in front of Goaty and saved AP's life. Goaty was defeated and the Teenage Wasteland fell to Gal-Zabor.

Kraggi gloated in his triumph and made plans to attack the eastern front of Svensylsquatostan. Major Knave and Dr. Ehrmann couldn't take it anymore and decided to aid in defending Svensylsquatostan on a moral basis. The Omega Troops also rose and prepared to defend. Major Knave attacked the zombies in his helicopter while Dr. E ran off to his lab to try and invent some anti-zombie weapon.

Kraggi knew that he would need reinforcements and so called on Anti-Paragon to do some recruiting. In a rare moment of genius, he zapped AP with female variant 5 and gave her a skintight uniform. Major Knave instantly knew that a hot female had a skintight uniform and transported to the area. Sven had ordered Major Knave to sneak into Gal-Zabor headquarters and gather information and possibly recruit some more allies, but Major Knave really only went for his hormones.

And that, my friends, is the war before this thread.
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Postby eternaljwh on Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:03 pm

*Dr. E has been moved to neutrality due to unforeseen circumstances cropping up, namely a returned experiment at the lab*

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Postby matthlord on Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:34 pm

Come join my tank-squadron.I still need a second CO for my tag power.
It has a good dental plan of course,and cookies and neat tanks.
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