Socrates Was A Christian v.2

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Socrates Was A Christian v.2

Postby Celaeno on Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:42 am

Due to the hijacking of the first thread and the resulting insistence of multiple people that I create a new one, here is "Socrates was a Christian v. 2" in all its glory. If you derail this one I will be very very sad (and Duchess just might impale you).

You're welcome to comment on other people's posts--only make sure the heart of your comments sticks with the original point of the thread.

Thank you.


Some people say stupid things in class or at work (or anywhere, really). I reserve this thread for the express purpose of sharing a few of the inane things we've heard other people say.

Celaeno wrote:"But if Kant's right, how do people get any satisfication?"

Magix wrote:"I need to change my course to Psychology. Wait, how do you spell psychology?"

MsFrisby wrote:Heard today - "So I told that police officer he better not even THINK about putting those handcuffs on me."

Halen wrote:At work yesterday:

"I mean, what's the point in books? You can watch the movie"

Guccipiggy wrote:Professor: "....ergo, marriage is sacred".

Student: "Wait a second... was Ergo Catholic?"

[quote="The Digital Dragon"]In my last year of school our citizenship class was shown a video documenting the genocide which took place in Rwanda The group watched in utter silence as the camera showed burnt out huts, bodies by the side of the road, scenes of utter carnage. It was horrifying. Then they go inside a house, it
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Postby Sam on Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:46 am

All people that do drugs should be suddenly executed, without trial, by the state.

No exceptions.


This is what I belive. If we find a cure for everything our population will sky rocket like its already doing and we will all be poor and turn into china.

We need natural selection and if you have a fucked up organ i guess its your time to die.


Quote from my Humanities class:

Teacher: Ok, so. Quick - define a monarchy.

Girl sitting next to me: That's when you have a civilization with nothing but women in it!
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Postby Celaeno on Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:52 am

First day of my Religious Disillusionment (the only day I attended before I dropped the class):

Professor: To demonstrate religious disillusionment, I will spend the first hour and a half of class talking about how my oldest sister got divorced when I was five and how that traumatized my tender life.
Class: ...what?

Okay, so that wasn't exactly verbatim, but you get the picture.
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Postby jwing on Wed Jun 15, 2005 7:27 am

Yesterday, while chaperoning a field trip to the Arboretum, I pointed out to my group the information plaques posted on certain trees. Before I could stop myself I said: "Look, kids, some of the trees are wearing name tags!"
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Postby Some Guy! on Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:54 am

Damn woman!

I mena, thanks a lot for quoting everybody, but that seems like it was an awful lot of work.

You have my appriciation though, makes all the comments a lot easier to read.
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Postby Sephira on Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:45 am

okay, this happened about ten minutes ago.

i'm at home, and suddenly someone's ringing my doorbell and knocking on the door loudly. i go and answer it and it's some guy wearing really dark glasses, has a fistful of cash, and is trying to give me some photocopied card. i won't open the glass door (i locked it), so he's holding it up for me to read. it says something like "i am deaf. i have a hard time finding work because i am deaf. did i mention i am deaf? deaf deaf deaf deaf deaf".

this guy is creepy, so i shake my head no and i'm about to close the door when i hear him say "bitch" as he turns around and is leaving. so i throw open the door and yell "HEY!"... to which he turns around. so i'm angry, i know for a fact this guy isn't deaf, so i say "you're pretty fucked up asshole!" to which he replies, "you're a tightwad bitch for not giving to the disabled!" i say something like "because you're not disabled, you dumb fuck" when a police car pulls up to my porch and proceeds to do their thing and arrest the guy (a neighbor called when he came to their door). i'm talking to one of the cops, who says that the guy probably would've been able to continue on his way if he had just kept pretending to be deaf instead of opening his big mouth. to which the "deaf" guy shouts:

"well aren't you a dumb fuck! deaf means you can't SEE!"
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Postby Sklent on Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:56 pm

Sometimes I think stupid people are proof that God hates us, then I realize it's positive proof that he loves us.
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Postby JesterZ on Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:10 pm

The other day I was working on a car in my back yard when one of my friends who was there asked me if the engine I was putting in ran.

I replied, "No, it doesn't have legs."

Looking back I realize my mistake, neither does he.
"...On the sixth day, god made the kegerator, and it was good. On the seventh day god rested, to recover from the hangover from trying the kegerator."

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Postby reasonablymad on Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:32 pm

I am prefacing this to say that yes, these people were being dead serious. I thought long and hard afterwards, desperately trying to imagine a way that the following querie could be anything but the most ridiculous statement in history. I failed. no one was drunk or high. everyone involved is an adult. I don't believe there was any sexual innuendo involved. perhaps someone here can explain to me how things like this happen. have I simply been blinded by my privileged upbringing?




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Postby Duchess on Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:28 pm

I hear a lot of stupid things that I can't use here, as they are only stupid "from a certain point of view". Sometimes I get a random saying that is derived from pure mindlessness, and so is silly rather than depressing.

"I don't always agree with my own opinions, but I still have them!"

"Something's only stupid if I don't agree with it."
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Postby strangemusic on Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:52 pm

Sephira wrote:{this was a reeally long post}


Seph, you win the thread. That was...uproariously funny.
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Dennis J. Squidbunny wrote:
If she starts going on about ho wit is a plausible theory as the two men are searching for some sort of salvation, waiting for a man named Godot, and there are parables blah blah then you know she's faking. But if she says MAAAAAHSJASDKJSADDJDSAKSDJAAAAAA AA AA AAUHSDAJKSDJSDJ then it's probably for real.
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Postby Snorri on Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:15 am

The best invention ever? It was a European one, democracy.

- Our prime minister.
"...so I hit him over the head with a garden shovel. And now he's all like 'lawsuit' this and 'jailtime' that." -Ethan

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Postby Him on Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:18 am

Snorri wrote:The best invention ever? It was a European one, democracy.

- Our prime minister.
Well, democracy, was invented in europe...
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Postby willem100 on Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:52 am

Greece, to be exact.

But it's funny because somebody from Holland said it.
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Postby Him on Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:58 am

*points and laughs*
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Postby Magix on Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:45 am

*ring, ring*

Me:"Hello?"
Caller:"Oh, hello. Is that the ferris wheel?"
Me:"Er. *thinks wtf?* No."
Caller:"Are you sure?"
Me:"Yes, quite sure..."
Caller:"Oh. *long pause* Okay..."

:P
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Postby Snorri on Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:39 pm

Him wrote:
Snorri wrote:The best invention ever? It was a European one, democracy.

- Our prime minister.
Well, democracy, was invented in europe...


Europe didn't exist at the time.
"...so I hit him over the head with a garden shovel. And now he's all like 'lawsuit' this and 'jailtime' that." -Ethan

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Postby JesterZ on Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:42 pm

Something I just found out the hard way, but should have known...

"Jack don't go so good with milk."
"...On the sixth day, god made the kegerator, and it was good. On the seventh day god rested, to recover from the hangover from trying the kegerator."

A Quote from the Doc cowboy bible.
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Postby Sam on Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:49 pm

Snorri wrote:Europe didn't exist at the time.


Namu says: Wait, yes it did!

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=europe
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Postby Snorri on Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:45 pm

Did they call it Europe at the time?
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Postby Saiban on Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:21 pm

http://www.allwords.com/query.php?Searc ... v=79350400
states something to the effect of the term "Europe" coming around in the seventeenth century.

http://www.teachersparadise.com/ency/en ... #Etymology
has this to say on Europe:

The name Europe possibly stems from a female character in Greek Mythology named Europa who was abducted by a bull-shaped Zeus. There is some trouble with this, though--the myth has nothing to do with Europe. A more prosaic explanation holds that it is derived from the word ereb from a Semitic language, meaning "sunset." From the point of view from the Middle East, the sun would appear to set beyond the lands to the west. In this regard it may be significant that Eurus is also a Latin term for the East Wind. This may even provide the (albeit noncausal) connection with Europa, as she was originally from Phoenicia and so, from the Greeks' point of view, was a woman of the East.


Just thought it was interesting.

And now, some words from our sponsors, since I kind've forgot what I was doing here.
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Postby Sitdown on Fri Jun 17, 2005 7:39 pm

Snorri wrote:Did they call it Europe at the time?


I really don't think your PMs comment was as stupid as you thought it was. Regardless of whether or not Europe was called Europe at the time of the invention of democracy. The area is NOW called Europe. Native American artwork is called Native American Artwork even though when some of it was made this continent wasn't named America.
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Postby Snorri on Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:30 am

But why isn't Ovidius an Italian poet? Because he lived in Italy.
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Postby willem100 on Sat Jun 18, 2005 2:27 am

Snorri, are you trying to highjack this thread again?
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Postby Sam on Sat Jun 18, 2005 3:05 am

But why isn't Ovidius an Italian poet? Because he lived in Italy.


For the same reason that the Aztecs aren't called Mexicans, nor are the Persians called Iranians, nor are the Inuit called Canadians, nor are the Almohads called Moroccans.

Because Italian is a designation of nationality. Italy is a nation, not a solely geographical designation.

Anyway, moving on, not discussing this anymore:

A friend explained to me how she ran out of oil while driving.

"I didn't put oil in the car because I thought oil was just stuff that the engine made out of gas that you had to drain every now and then."
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