The REAL What BOFH Really Stands For

[Kilo24]

As seen in the Temporary Bruno the Bandit Forum, now it's real! No more fakeness, now 100% pure Bullshit Of Floppy Hamsters! It's a veritable Boolean Orifice For Hacking!! Without further Bouncing Oily Flunky Harleys, here's the list!

Blowdried Oreos For Hoaxes
Baby Oxen Fend off Harlequins
Butts Of Fourteen Hippos
Boxing Oak, Flaming Hamster
Bob's Oogling Funk Hornbills
Bubbly Ordinary Fizzy Hoopskirt
Broken Otters Flocking Home

[Antarius]

Disclaimer: The following content contains no-beating-around-the-bush and other fluffy political correctness. Those who feel this is most unbecoming for a Minister should not proceed past this point. If the following post causes you undue grief and heartache, then nobody will give a rats bottom. If, after reading this post, your nostril hairs spontaneously ignite and smell like searing hair, then that is your own problem. If, after reading this post, your cat runs in an anti-clockwise direction, the magnetic strips on your credit cards are wiped, and your neighbour invites all of his/her nudist friends over for a convention, then please give me a call on 666 & ask for the boss...




Or, seeing how Kilo wants to do this to death (and then, upon its' reincarnation, do it to death once more), it appears that the relevant definition would be:

Boring, Overdone F***ing Horse-poo!





Okay? Are we done yet? This whole "defining BOFH" bit has taken me away from much greater tasks, such as examining my ear wax.

Cheers

Antarius of Borg.
Resistance is puerile.

[Antarius]

What BOFH Stands For:


I Stand for Pure Unadulterated Violence.

I Stand for Lots and Lots of Liquor.

I Stand for the squishing of rodents (hi mouse) and small, furry, annoying animals (hi Kilo).

I Stand for Great Web Comics. (Hi Ian. Payment in the usual fashion, thanks.)


What BOFH Doesn't Stand For:

I Don't Stand for Honest Politicians. (I fall over in shock & disbelief!)

I Don't Stand for Even More Alcohol Than Above. (Hic)

And I Just Plain Lay Down When I'm Tired.






Cheers,

Antarius of Prague.
Resistance is spherical.

[mouse]

What BOFH Stands For:
I Stand for Pure Unadulterated Violence.

you have _got_ to send me some info on your particular sect of buddism - sounds like it gets around some of the drawbacks of the more standard variants.

[mouse]

sorry, ant - just read your post on another thread that explains you are _taoist_ - clearly a different thing entirely from a buddist, and i apologize for my lack of sensitivity.

(what can i say - i burned out my religious sensitivity trying to distinguish between different variants of baptists (and a bootless task that was) (although that wasn't _my_ fault, i brought the boots, they just wouldn't let me use them (wimps))).

[Antarius]

sorry, ant - just read your post on another thread that explains you are _taoist_ - clearly a different thing entirely from a buddist, and i apologize for my lack of sensitivity.

None needed... I subscribe more to the true Buddhist philosophies anyhoo. (And my Real Life(tm) Self is a Leeeetle bit different than my alter ego... Well, a lot different actually. In Real Life, I'm actually nice. But don't let that get out - I have an image to keep up!)

(BTW, for True Buddhist philosophies, you might have to contact me directly. I'm talking the teachings that didn't get destroyed when several disciples formed the Buddhist Council and assasinated the Buddha... I have some available - access to them isn't easy unless you know the right people...)


Oh, and I could be a Tibetan Buddhist... Not commonly known (with the portrayal of the media and people like Mr Gerbil Himself, Richard Gere), but the Tibetan Buddists are actually descendant from Warrior Priests.

There's your violence.


Cheers,

Antarius of OhshitI'vejustputmyselfonthe'tobeassasinatedlist.'

[Kilo24]

Gerbils!

[Kilo24]

BOFH means:
rodeo mouses on parole with exceptionally explosive flatulence Being the greatest defining characteristic of the brOtherhood oF brie that only being for meeping iguanas which explode daily completely pointlessly like bill clinton sapping out cheesecake utilizing a destroyed spoon which is so ugly it lost itself smacking out a mirror in the middle of the lemming colony in southwest australia the homesite of mount everest during a huge attack of space aliens who breed with Hamsters.

This is why it's an acronym.

[Antarius]

Oi!

Revealing intellectual property can be hazardous to your health.

Quietly, so only Ian will hear:
Ian, can I hire that Pigasus? I need a hit-pig to take out Kilo...

pause
What the hell do you mean, "there's no private comments on these message boards?" Argh!



Cheers,

NotAnt. (It's someone else, honest!)

[mouse]

I'm talking the teachings that didn't get destroyed when several disciples formed the Buddhist Council and assasinated the Buddha

ok, now you're scaring me....

the Tibetan Buddists are actually descendant from Warrior Priests.

well, i knew they ate meat and stuff (as opposed to the vegetarianism the buddists hereabouts seem to espouse) - of course, the himilayas aren't exactly great farming country.

[mouse]

I'm talking the teachings that didn't get destroyed when several disciples formed the Buddhist Council and assasinated the Buddha

ok, now you're scaring me....

the Tibetan Buddists are actually descendant from Warrior Priests.

well, i knew they ate meat and stuff (as opposed to the vegetarianism the buddists hereabouts seem to espouse) - of course, the himilayas aren't exactly great farming country.

[Kilo24]

Double Post Alert!

[mouse]

hey - the forum told me i couldn't post again so soon, and to try again later! (i accidentally double-clicked on the 'post' button). stupid thing - _this_ one it remembers?

[Antarius]

mouse (lowercase) spake thusly:

ok, now you're scaring me....

It's alright, Buddha knew he was being poisoned. He just didn't care.

Life's kinda like that, when you are enlightened. Trust me, I know. In fact, I'm planning my own assassination in a week or two...

the Tibetan Buddists are actually descendant from Warrior Priests.
well, i knew they ate meat and stuff (as opposed to the vegetarianism the buddists hereabouts seem to espouse)

As a studier of Buddhist philosophy, and a Vegetarian for over 6 years, I have to comment on this line of thinking...

Nowhere in any of the Buddha's teachings (or the "accepted" teachings of Jesus of Nazareth) is there anything promoting Vegetarianism.

In fact, it is a popular misconception that Buddha was a Vegetarian. He was not - in fact, he quite enjoyed his meat, though being of Hindu descent, he didn't touch Beef.

I chose to be Vegetarian because

1) I did not want to be involved in any creature's death (I go out of my way to avoid killing - this may or may not extend to include Kilo, as he is obviously a single-celled creature that fits under the category of "anti-intelligent life form,") and


2) Because I did not want to "consume a creature's death."

#2 is a strange one (and I am a strange person. 'nuff said.) I'll try not to be complicated: (Kilo's eyes would have glazed over at the sight of a multi-syllabic word anyway, and he is not part of the target audience due to #1).

Given that E=MC^2, we know that Energy(E) is Matter(M) vibrating at the Speed of Light(C) Squared.

As such, it is also proven that Matter = Energy / Speed of Light^2.

For the sake of this example, let's round that down to saying that "All Matter is just Energy vibrating at a specific frequency." or for further oversimplification, "All Matter is Energy."

(This theory lends credence to those that believe in "Auras," as all energy has radiation. It also lends credence to any philosophies that believe in the manipulation or use of energy. In my case, I refer to "Ki" (or Chi if you are so inclined - scientific term is "Orgone.") With Ki, or "Rei-Ki" (the Universal Life Force Energy), energies can be "manipulated" to promote healing of one's self. (All healing is done by the person, not by the "Rei-Ki practioner," who is but a "recharging depot.") As such, the only limits of the healing is what is placed upon it by the recipient; What you believe, Is. I'm proof of this, after walking out of hospital 3 days after being told I would never walk again, when I broke my back 6 or 7 years ago. Nothing is impossible. There is no spoon.)

Now, we know that energy (and matter, for that matter) can (and does) retain a "memory." As such, IMHO, a creature upon the time of its' death, each of its cells will record their last memory of life, being their death.

Given that "You are what you eat," I find it an unattractive proposition to be consuming the memory of another creature's death, and having that be "Part of me."

On top of this, given that the intestinal tract for a carnivore is rather short (a lion's intestinal tract is 3m for example) to allow the nutrients from meat to be absorbed before decomposition gets well underway (it begins at the instant of death), I don't like the idea of eating that dead, decomposing flesh and having it sit, rotting, in my intestinal tract for metres upon metres. Ick!


Now that I have had my time on the soap box, I'll re-iterate:

Buddhism & Christianity contain no teachings that propose vegetarianism (directly). Anyone who becomes vegetarian citing these philosophies as their reason, is sadly misinformed. Spiritual reasons, yes. Political reasons, maybe. Religious (citing above two examples), nope. (That is not to say that Buddhists & Christians cannot be vegetarian, only that it is by their own choice, not because of anything found in their belief structure.)


I realise that there are some oversimplications and generalisations made above, but hey, this is a comic-strip forum. You want more in-depth philosophy? Give me the back of a match box!



Cheers,

Antarius of Ick
Resistance is dead, decomposing flesh...

[scadada99]

...Bastard Operator From Hell.

They just came out with a book by that title.

But, it very well could mean Butts Of Foreign Homeopaths, so I don't know.

[Kilo24]

I confiscate your megabuster. Due Compensation: Here's a penny for it.

[mouse]

Resistance is dead, decomposing flesh...

now _there's_ a metaphysical answer for you.

ant, i will admit that virtually all my info about buddism is observational, word-of-mouth, and/or contructs out of my own head, based on extrapolations of what little i know. (yes, yes, i know that talking about buddism given such a base of total ignorance is wrong, but it's never stopped anyone from talking about science or politics). i did say "buddists hereabouts", because there is a buddist group in town here that has a sort of restaurant/soup kitchen place, which is entirely vegetarian. this initially gave me the idea that all buddists tended towards vegetarianism (given also what i understand of their views about the value of all forms of life, and tendency to be rather abstemious). i later learned that this is not the case for all buddists, and put it down to the tendency of all sects to put their own spin on the tenets of their religion (the reason that there are so many different variants of baptists is that each group has it's own interpretation of every little thing, and they keep splitting off because of that). (this of course is one problem i have with organized religion - so much of what they shout about has to do with their own interpretations, not the actual texts/beliefs on which the religion is based - even though they insist "it's all right there in the Bible" (or whatever)) (ignorance - pfah)

actually i do kinda understand #2 - although i would point out that even a carrot has to die before you eat it. (which i guess is the vegan point of view). personally, i figure all life ultimately depends on death (all that rotting flesh makes fertilizer for the plants) - the best you can do is try not to make life too ugly, and let death be gentle (if that makes any sense). i myself am feeling the weight of #1 more and more with the passing years - plus i worry about the ecological implications of what we choose to eat, and how we go about raising and/or harvesting said food. (i have gotten very picky about what fish i will eat, because so much of what is popular, such as chilean sea bass and shark, is not capable of sustaining the fishing pressures put on them). so while i eat meat (and carrots), i'm trying to be a little selective about what it goes through before it gets to me - so i'm tending towards free-range eggs and organic veggies - not necessarily because i think they are better for me, but they are less bad for everything else. what can i say - this whole 'life' thing is complicated.

this whole assassination thing, now - are you sure you want to give kilo that information? ....or wait, now - is _that_ why you're taunting him so? man, you can really be evil. if it were anyone but kilo, i might actually feel the need to warn him of your devious trap.

[Kilo24]

Trap? What trap?

[Antarius]

As in, "Shut yours, Kilo..."

[Kilo24]

I have a right to an open trap!

[mouse]

i could be wrong...but i suspect that's exactly what you're about to walk into.....

[Kilo24]

Antarius's trap is the largest. It is the only one of the size to walk into.

Kilo24
Resistance is stealing Antarius's line

[Antarius]

...Bastard Operator From Hell.

They just came out with a book by that title.

The original BOFH was out in the late 80's, early 90's. It's hardly a "new" thing...

Cheers,

Antarius of Old
Resistance is in a nursing home

[Kilo24]

Enjoy!
Book Of Flaming Hippies
Beauty Of Flatuating Heaps
Boogers, Originally From Hoopla
Bones Of Frankenstein Here
Beady Obese French Hymns
Beware Of Fat Hamsters
Beans Organize For Hoedown
Bladders Often Forget Hotcakes
Batting Obvious Finny Hack
Bathwater Oinks Ferociously Homesickly
Battering Oranges Fork Hotdogs

Kilo24
kIlo24, not kEYlo24.

[kilo42]

can someone be my friend?