Hats (Forum Game)

[knucklekraken]

Oh, what the hells is going on with this room? Are you even a real owlbear?

Dives sees if that's a real grate in the wall.

Also,
Good, we're all here. FINALLY. Echo, there's a button at the bottom of the ramp, don't hit it. Jeez, they should have named you Late to the Party or something.

Shakes opens the chest on the next level, making sure not to trip any traps.

[Haragorn]

Make sure to get the Wargs this time through!

[Silentobserver]

Dances, sadly not as convincing as Dives had been...instead hides behind Sticks. "Oh god, it doesn't believe in the puce blood cell, don't let it hurt me!...I mean...right, brave and calm, yeah." With that, he experiments as to what a missile made of magic might do.

[arles]

Oniric Wields an Awesome Sword

I fly down to the lower part of the room.
"Hey, you. You, the tall guy. Did you know there are some adventurer's coming our way? BEFORE YOU RUN AWAY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, If you give my orange friend here your gray hat, I promise you we'll stay here and delay them while you go tell the Bug Bear King the bad news. Do we have a deal?"
After that, I spin around in circles, singing a song about the passionate romance between a Fistful of Guts and a Treasure Chest. ♫♪

Such a weird dream...

[LoneStarNorth]

Echo watches as the adventure unfolds. Wow, not a lot is getting done here. You hope they pick up the pace soon, a few of them seem to be in a very great hurry for some reason.



CBM devours Bleeds' corpse in cold blood. He then also devours the cold blood as dessert. Halfway done with eating dead people!

CBM moves to the left.



"You continue along the tunnel and find the next area guarded by another four kobolds!"



Lost puts on the pokebelt and omelet and then pushes on one of the handles with all his demonic strength. Surely such a task would require at least two normal Goblins, but Lost manages it on his own. The giant wooden pillar rotates 180 degrees, then clicks into place. It isn't stuck or anything, it just appears to only go in increments of 180.

The Imp presses the red button.

"Sorry boss, doesn't seem t'do anythin'."



Dives goes to check out the grate, but he's pretty sure he knows how this room works now. The grating swings open easily and reveals a combination safe.

Dives hears a low scraping or grinding sound coming from the previous room.



Dances ducks behinds Sticks' invulnerable body and fires a magic missile at the white blood cell. However, the entire organ lurches suddenly and the atack goes wide, hitting the knot instead.

It would be totally awesome if this caused it to spring loose and cease to impede your progress. But sadly, that is not what happens.



Bleeds politely asks if he can join the other Goblins' game, then impolitely rants about his body being eaten by his FORMER best friend. The Goblins are apparently used to such displays and more or less ignore it.

Bleeds then asks what's further off to the left.

"More of the goblin afterlife I guess. This place sort of shift around a bit from time to time, so it's hard to know exactly where you're going."
"So wait. You said 'goblin afterlife'. Is this where ALL goblins end up when thy die?"
"Yep, all goblins regardless of clan or time period."
"Wouldn't that mean that ALL goblins are around here somewhere then, at the same time, forever?"
"Yeah, it's kind of crowded, but since the place is so big you generally only run into people you know plus a handful of others."
"We're also sorted into a few different levels based on how we died."
"This is the level for goblins that died in the middle of an adventure."
"Above us are those who died defending warcamps or villages, above that are those who achieved greatess before they died, and above THAT are the greatest goblin heroes of all time."
"Below us are the unremarkable schlubbs."
"Wow... we're not very high up on the ladder, are we?"
"Not really. But there's also, you know, HELL. So at least we're not there..."
"Anyway, I'm sick of cards. I wanna do something else."
"Sure, let's let Bleeds decide since he's new. So what'll it be? You gonna stick around with us or go exploring or what?"

*****

HATVENTORY:
Blonde Wig
Chef Hat
Fedora
The Leonidas
The Light Of Discovery
Trainer’s Cap

You guys are desperately trying to keep the number of rooms ahead of the number of updates, aren't you?

Also it appears that Dream Last Ditch Dungeon doesn't respond to commands other than Echo's. Too bad guys

On the other hand, no dead Goblins submitted commands...

[brontan]

Thats because i didnt think it would do any good.

Trips on Rocks
If Bleeds wishes to explore Trips will throw down his cards showing a royal flush and go off with Bleeds to the next room. If not he will continue to play cards never showing a sign of what his hand is.

[SuperVaderMan]

Bleeds Profusely

Might as well go exploring I guess. Since everyone's here at the same time, maybe I can find some of my friends and ask if there's a staff of life or something in the dungeon they're in.

*Bleeds leads his new party of formerly-living goblins through the exit to the left*

(whispered to Chief) "By the way, I read the comic you're in"

[notimportant]

((Apologies in advance for a lengthy post. Also apologies for trampling on everyone's characters. But it's my dream!))

Echo
Since this adventure is taking place in a lucid dream, everything seems to go the goblin party's way. For some reason, Echo seems to be familiar with all aspects of this dungeon. Also, since it is a dream, everything moves faster... so after turn 9, the goblin adventurers have reconvened outside the entrance of the dungeon...

Not-Understanding didn't space out this time. He found out during the adventure that he could talk to animals. On the trip to the village (after they killed the troll) he met a were-fox, and got bitten. He gained really good reflexes and a feral strength, improving his stats a lot. He now fights with claws and sharp teeth, but wears no gear except a red cloak (made from a halfling eunuch's robe).

Darkgrey wears his necromancer robe and staff. But when the goblins visited the village, they looted the Poorly Locked Treasure Chest (it's taboo, but since this is a dream, they could do it). Amongst other things, they found some really powerful spellbooks, and Darkgrey improved his magic skills quite a bit. His eyes now glow with a green glow, much like the staff he uses. He is accompanied by an army of skeletons (he reanimated all the ones in the dungeon, even the ones adorning the Dark Elf temple) which he has full control over.

Chases-Butterflies managed to reach his destiny by singlehandedly killing all the imps in the dungeon. The Imp High Council took notice, and decided to bribe Chases in exchange for a promise to stop slaying them. He was rewarded with his own wings, enabling him to fly like an imp. From above, he attacks with a bow, reforged, and a near infinite supply of arrows (the goblins traded shurikens for them with the Kobolds). All arrows have superhardium tips (the boulder traps kept respawning, so there was an infinite supply), and poison+flaming enhancement. Chases wears enhanced leather armour, and a belt that gives great protection from ranged attacks (from the Poorly Locked treasure chest).

Sir Frolicks pranced around the dungeon, but not much managed to hit him this time round. He managed to get his hands on the lute, and had it enhanced by the bard. He had a great talent for music, and while they were moving back from the village, a pack of monkeys (subconciously added by Echo) heard him playing and were impressed enough to join him as his roadies. The monkeys have built a stage, from which Frolicks plays his music, with amplifiers and equalizers and all that jazz (built by monkeys from forest material). This of course gives great bonuses to the music powers. Frolicks wears the bard's outfit (Hideous killed him for his destiny) and a pair of Sundark Goggles a monkey found.

Eaten By Grues wears chainmail armour and helmet, but you couldn't see it. When his destiny was fulfilled, the Grues abilities sort of melded with his own, and his body now exudes darkness, perpetually shrouding him and giving him a natural protection against all physical attacks. All that can be seen of him now is a dark cloud with faint glowing eyes, and the flaming, poisoned, enhanced dual daggers he wields.

Limps From Battle isn't seen at all. He has the Boots of Elvenkind on, and is invisible. He also got a Ring of Invisibility from the Poorly Locked treasure chest, and by stacking these two effects, he can attack without becoming visible. He does so by means of a large amount of poisoned, enhanced shurikens he got from the vending machine. Bob has got nothing on him, this time around. He's stuck wearing leather gear, though. Oh well.

Late To The Party managed to get in due to a glitch, even though Not Understanding never left. He is the tank of the group. He wears an enhanced steel shield (that the adventurers were using), enhanced plate armour (from the Hobgoblin King), the Power Gauntlets, Trollhide belt and a Knight's Helmet (which got mixed in from the actual Hats game). He also uses the axe, enhanced in all the ways possible.

Shakes A Spear rides a fully pimped Worg. He wears the hydra shield, and attacks by throwing his destiny spears. He convinced the Azers to forge a large supply of them, and he carries them on his back in a backpack made from owlbear skin. Chainmail armour.

Hideous Mole got a bit reclusive after he learnt about his destiny. When they found the spellbooks in the village, he grabbed all of the ones not concerning necromancy, and learnt all kinds of magic. He proceeded to kill not only the bard, but the darkelves, hobgoblin tribe, azers, kobolds, yuan-ti and halfling choir (who were all allies at the time). For every ally he slayed, his powers grew, and there's now not much he cannot do with his powers. He wields the yuan-ti's staff in one hand, and the healing staff in the other. He also has the tarrasque scale armour. Like all powerful magic users, he levitates, and has an aura that crackles with lightning bolts.

Last but not least, Chief Wields has his Awesomesword, which has poison, reforge and flaming enhancements. He is dual-wielding it with ANOTHER Awesomesword he got through a duping trick in Paint (Mark/Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V). He also wears the Hobgoblin King's crown and general enhanced chain armour. He isn't on a Worg, since he is riding the Tarrasque (which was shrunk to a medium-size creature by Hideous's magic, and tamed by Not-Understanding). He leads the goblin party in a charge against the adventurers, as they arrive to the dungeon.

Eats stand behind them and waves. "Bye, guys! It's been swell. But I have to get on with other dreams now, you see. Good luck with those adventurers!"

[Kelvara]

Are you trying to kill LSN? O_O

[LoneStarNorth]

Notimportant, you ass

[notimportant]

Hey, you called me small!

[dNILe]

Is the dead Green Goblin chief a Cleric?

[ChroniclerC]

What a silly looking mask. Oh well. Assuming none of the skeletons do anything untoward, the CBM will attempt to send the mask to the Hatventory and continue onward left to the next room. If the skeletons do decide to do something nasty, like drop from the ceiling and try to eat it, our hero will flee back to the spider room and guard Bleeds's bones from being animated.

Cute Baby Maggot
3/3 HP
5/10 bodies eaten

[Dlover]

And by "Gaurd", do you mean "eat"?

[ChroniclerC]

And by "Gaurd", do you mean "eat"?

Now that's just silly. You can't eat bones!

[Dlover]

I do, my dogs do, various wild animals do, dinosaurs do, why can't giant maggots?

[Whooh]

Lost sends his imp to look at the next room over to collect his turban. Lost props the sword and shield against the wall and dons the Trainer Cap with the pokeballs. He then pushes the red button while standing on the platform.

[Silentobserver]

Dances curses the crazy, lurching fatbeast, trying to reason with the white blood cell. "We just want what's best for this creature, and also to be not eaten any longer. Any chance you can stand down and let us work towards getting him better?" If reasoning no longer works whatsoever...well, Dances is gonna blast the sucker.

[notimportant]

((I have a hypothesis that the Fatbeast's lurch and the sound from the room next to Dives are attributed to that turning pillar shifting the rooms around in the dungeon.))

[knucklekraken]

Dives examines the dial on the safe. If it appears to be locked already, he inputs a code. If there are letters on the dial, that code is "JACKPOT." if numbers, he inputs the same code numerically. This would be 10, 1, 3, 11, 16, 15, 20.

[Whooh]

((BTW... Notimportant.... Epic post, man. I would LOVE to see all of that. Wouldn't be surprised though if LSN goes "All of that happened and it was epic beyond your wildest dreams. Echo is now in a room full of fire and super poisonous snakes!"))

[lokthar]

((I sort of got the feeling that the fatbeast is attached to the pillar and turning it rearranged him so that when you do get puked back up it's on the side with the tv on it))

"Urist engages the kobolds one at a time if possible"

[ArdentSilver]

You should see what's *in* the pokeballs.

[LoneStarNorth]

A very long, detailed post.

Echo waves goodbye to all of his super-powerful new friends who have completely DEMOLISHED the dungeon in ways both possible and otherwise.

"Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys! It's been fun!"
"No, thank YOU, Echo. We never could have achieved such power if not for your guidance."
"Aww, shucks. Good luck with those adventurers!"

The other Goblins then head off to intercept the adventurers coming after them. The battle lasts all of three seconds, and two of those seconds are spent arguing over who gets to wipe them out.



Bleeds and his new future-pal Trips abandon the card game and head deeper into the afterlife.



CBM picks up the new Hat and sends it to the Hatventory. The second he does so, one of the skeletons detaches itself from the ceiling and comes down to say hi.

"I say, my good maggot! Do I guess correctly that you are the one who has slain that bothersome arachnid?"
"I'm three days old and most of your words mean nothing to me."
"I rather assume that may be taken as an affirmative! Bully! My compatriots and I will gladly assist you in your journey, though we shall do so only one at a time. Best to give our enemies something of a sporting chace, wouldn't you say old chap?"

CBM has acquired the services of a patheticly weak skeleton. It's a good thing he can come back for a replacement, because this guy looks like a real featherweight.



Lost switches up his gear, stands on the platform, and presses the button. The teleporter activates and sends him somewhere else in the dungeon.



Meanwhile, Lost's imp retrieves the robe turban. It wouldn't do to go adventuring without THIS!



Dives tries some numbers on the safe, but it doesn't open. That must not be the right combination. Maybe it'll be written down somewhere nearby?

Or not. You never know, really.



"Urist charges the kobolds and easily slays the first. Koboldslayer shoots down two more without any trouble. The fourth attacks Urist, but unsuccessfully."
"Now THIS is more like it."



"We just want what's best for this creature, and also to be not eaten any longer. Any chance you can stand down and let us work towards getting him better?"
"No! This is CELL business! You guys can go work on figuring out the code if you want, but only a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL like myself stands any chance of undoing this knot!"

To be frank, the knot strikes you as logically impossible and you don't see how being in the same room as it is going to help you anyhow.

*****

HATVENTORY:
Blonde Wig
Chef Hat
Fedora
Knight’s Helmet
The Leonidas
The Light Of Discovery
Spider Mask, Spider Mask

SPIDER MASK, SPIDER MASK
Do whatever a spider can.

I was going to say something but I forget what.

[ArdentSilver]

Welcome back, LoneStar! We've missed you. <3