by Ringading on Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:57 am
Before becoming an actor, Bea Arthur had a stint as the health and safety manager at a lumberyard. One day, an employee desperately burst into her office. She looked up from her paperwork with a sneer of distaste. She could tell from his vulgar stance and uncouth manner that he was one of the common labourers.
"What is it, young man?" she impatiently asked, "out with it, I'm a very busy lady you know."
"It's... it's Snoddy, miss. 'E was struck by a loose log. Crushed 'is 'ead, miss."
"Oh, I see. And is this 'Snoddy' fellow injured very much?"
"Well... 'e's dead, miss."
"Oh dear. This is just awful."
"That it is, miss, and 'im with his son only just five an' 'is missus pregnant wiv annuver on the way."
"What?" she asked in confusion. "Oh, I see. The fellow's family. Well, that is too bad, but worse still- tomorrow would have marked two years of this lumberyard's operation without a single lost time injury. Your 'Snoddy' ruined everything!"
"I... oh. That's too bad, miss."
"I was going to hold a celebratory barbeque to mark the milestone! It would have had cake!"
"That really is too bad, miss."
Nobody attended Snoddy's funeral. They were far too angry at him. Later, Bea Arthur won a Fonzie impersonation contest.