Telling my problems to the bar tender

[crypto]

Let me just make this clear, I'm not trying to hook up here, I'm happy as just friends. She has to may quarks to her personality, nerotic tendencies, and I can barely keep up half the time as it is.

We did talk before she went out on her date, resolved jack shit. because I didn't know what the hell to say and just eneded up shutting up as I got more and more pissed at either her or myself, I'm not entierly sure which it was. Likely both.

It's just I open up more when I'm comfortable with people.

The following is a list of when we've actualy hung out in person. I may have missed one or two, but this is a decent sampleing.

the last few times we have hung out, her brother has tagged along to the movies and shopping (chaperoneing his big sis maybe?). An Ok guy I guess, but I barely know him. Didn't help the two of them made me feel like a third wheel. He wasn't along I wouldn't have minded being dragged into what ever stor she wanted to go in.

time before, tagged along to her aunt's for a christmas party as a favor to her. I knew 5 people tops. Got asked twice by the same person if we where dateing, once at the party and then the next day at church in front of my mother.

Before that was a movie then met up with her mother and her mother's friend for pizza. She spreng her mother on me at the last minute.

I met her mother when the lady was drunk as hell, t didn't leave a very good impreshion for me. her Mother thinks. . . well I still haven't gotten a straight answer to what her mother thinks of me. I was rather blunt when I told her mother to her face I didn't really like her. Come on she was embaressing the hell out of me and my freind. I was beat red, and my friend wasn't recognizeing my "help me please, get me out of here" look.

Only real outings I can think of when I loosened up was a round of mini golf and a few games of pool. Had a good time, didn't give a shit what others thought, cause no one else was around. Just me and her.

Only time I can think of loosening up with others around was the first or second time I met her brother and the first time I met her friend Sabrina. Went to an amusment park, and had a very good time. Froze our asses off and covered in sleet but we had fun. Just a bunch of imature kids.

Huh, guess I should have told her all that crap above when we talked?

[Ryalyn]

This! She points up at the previous posts.

This is why I dislike relationships. Ugh.

Maybe I'll actually be able to think of something productive to say later. Until then, you guys have my sympathies. That really sucks. I'll let you know when I've thought of something better to say.

Buys them some buffalo wings to go with their drinks.

[crypto]

Great not I'm grumpy and jumpy. I sent a few e-mails to her this morining and either something's up at work or she's makeing good on her "If you cry I will stop talking to you" threat.

Yeah she told me that if I started drying she wouldn't speak to me again. Real good thing to say to a freind who's upset.

Some time i wonder why the hell we're even friends. We're polar oposits. She talks, I listen. Energetic and pure choas made flesh, sedate and predictable. Out going vs sedate and reserved. . . list goes on.

She fucking infuriates me at times.

[kinako mochi]

Live and learn, live and learn, as long as you don't forget the live part.

*hugs Zella before she dimension-shifts* :)

[BathroomKey]

Okay, just a suggestion but how about trying this:

Give me the top 5 reasons why STAYING in you're current friendship would be worth it.

And

Give me the top 5 reasons why LEAVING this current friendship would be worth it.

It

[crypto]

Top of the keep list is She's one of the few freinds I have. She tracked me and got this friendship rolling.

She had a point I don't open up a lot in person.

[crypto]

Well I feel like an ass. Turns out I was overreacting a little.

Aparenetly she didn't mean it to sound as bad as it did. She didn't mean just contact over the phone, we'll still hang out. I just need to work on my people skills.

Still she could have told me that yesterday before I got so damn worked up.

[Ryalyn]

Live and learn, live and learn, as long as you don't forget the live part.

*hugs Zella before she dimension-shifts* :)

Catches up with her after Kinako and gives her another.

---
Crypto, that's still not so cool. I mean, yea and all about being able to communicate face-to-face and all. But, still . . . .

I really BathroomKey's idea about the list.

[azalea2]

thanks!

and today, i make bread...

[Kestralyn]

:oops: thanks!

and today, i make bread...

That's a mean trick to play on us! Dimension shift away and leave the smell of freshly baked bread wafting through the Pub?

I'm afraid I don't have much advice on relationships for anyone. I find the older I get, the harder it is to make and keep friends. You just don't have the opportunities after college that you do earlier.

BathroomKey: Women who "just want to be friends"? Unless she really means it (and you can tell by her actions), yeah, that's the easy way out to make you break it off the rest of the way.

Crypto: As for miss "I didn't mean what I said!"? Hmmm... an in-person talk is one major thing that needs to happen. Preferrably with what you said to us included. It *sounds* as though she's dicking around with you, but we only have your upset side of it, as you admitted.

For everyone? Let the respective problem children know that you've got a whole Pub full of people who will come mess them up if they don't start treating you right!

[BathroomKey]

Kestralyn wrote:

BathroomKey: Women who "just want to be friends"? Unless she really means it (and you can tell by her actions), yeah, that's the easy way out to make you break it off the rest of the way.

Already made my decision. There was never really a friendship there after the breakup (those were the words I used). Just her...there. I blocked her cell #, threw away the pictures, and started to look around to make sure I didn't have anything of her's (she took all her clothes that she kept at my place when we broke up from dating each other...and I wind up finding one of her socks ! ).

There are many types of relationships: Mother and son, girlfriend and boyfriend, boss and employee, teacher and student...and so on.

Mine just happened to be with a dirty sock .

Thanks for lookin out Kes !

[crypto]

Crypto: As for miss "I didn't mean what I said!"? Hmmm... an in-person talk is one major thing that needs to happen. Preferrably with what you said to us included. It *sounds* as though she's dicking around with you, but we only have your upset side of it, as you admitted.

We have talked, and things are better. Well until the next fight a day later. Minor disagreement on the exorsise plan she "suggested" I do.

[Kestralyn]

Mine just happened to be with a dirty sock .

Thanks for lookin out Kes !

According to my boy-cat, that's one of the best relationships to have!

I hate to just hop in and offer assvice, but I really hate it when people dick with other people's feelings. That's one of the lowest things you can do to someone.

[Kestralyn]

We have talked, and things are better. Well until the next fight a day later. Minor disagreement on the exorsise plan she "suggested" I do.

I don't want to come across as a spelling or grammar Nazi, but I did find your typo for what I assume was meant to be "exercise" funny. She thinks you need to exorcise something? That could be taken in several quite funny ways!

Good luck with this friendship, and don't forget we're here if you need a venting forum!

[crypto]

We have talked, and things are better. Well until the next fight a day later. Minor disagreement on the exorsise plan she "suggested" I do.

I don't want to come across as a spelling or grammar Nazi, but I did find your typo for what I assume was meant to be "exercise" funny. She thinks you need to exorcise something? That could be taken in several quite funny ways!

Good luck with this friendship, and don't forget we're here if you need a venting forum!

Yeah that was what I meant. I kind of failed spelling as a kid. But then again she has repeatedly said she should have a priest check out her house as she kind of think's it's haunted. Yet she insists she does not beleive in ghosts.

[Kestralyn]

But then again she has repeatedly said she should have a priest check out her house as she kind of think's it's haunted. Yet she insists she does not beleive in ghosts.

Ah, hah! So it WAS a Freudian slip! At least I choose to take it that way!

What we say we believe and what we actually believe can often be two different things, I've noticed.

As I said before, we're here if you need to vent. Not to step on Ryalyn's wings... wanna cookie?

[BathroomKey]

Writer's block with no time left. Suggestions? =/

[Ryalyn]

Start writing, just about anything. Even though you don't have time, just getting the brain muscles moving will help. Make sure that you have enough data to do your writing on your subject. Otherwise, you're just going to dead end without information in a little while (at least, that's what always happens to me). But just try writing and maybe you'll figure out what's blocking you. Are you not interested in your subject? Try to think of a way that it's interesting. But I would just start writing, not even about your subject. Just writing so that after a while you can get into your other project.

Don't know if that helps or not, but it's worth a try, right?

(Kes, no wings stepped on. )

[crypto]

Doda doda, Happy news!! Some of my agrivation/worry/stress has been eliminated!!!

ShequitshequitsheQUIT!!!

:Bounces around the pub with a big ass grin plastered on his face like a jack rabbit on speed:

Ahem, sorry.

Beth has quit her job with the police, can't say the reason why as she threatened sever bodily harm if I told. She's not sure what she's going to do, sounds like take the summer off relax and be a 22 year old before finding a new job.

I knew she could handle the physical stuff, I was worried about how she'd hadle the mental stress of what she had to see/do. She had been haveing nightmares and he OCD was through the roof. I was worried she'd snap or something.

Now we'll see how she does with a lot less stress.

[Kestralyn]

:Bounces around the pub with a big ass grin plastered on his face like a jack rabbit on speed:

Jackrabbit? I don't think so... more of a Jackalope!



Good news!

[crypto]

Mountian Dew Code Red, Pabs. Even net brews would be a bad thing right now.

Well I was premature with my celabaration, she just got sucked back in.

She had some valid points to go back, and she's not going back to full time until later this year. She loves the job for the most part so I do want to see her happy doing something she enjoys and she's good at. They need her was what it came down to.

She did ask me if I thought her going back was a bad idea, and I told her what i thought;

With the points you made, I'm torn between saying yes it's a bad idea, and no they need you. the yes answer was my first responce.

[crypto]

Ok i feel like crap right now, point of tears, and I realy don't know where else to vent. Beth issues again. Always seemes to be her. And before some one says ditch her, no I can't that would just set me back. She's my only real freind ok. even though she makes me feel like crap at times I don't want to lose her.

And I don't want to hear suck it up either.

Here's the e-mail thread that put me in this mood.

Beth Williams to me
More options 9:19 am (3 hours ago)

if you want a girlfriend you need to get out with some of your guy friends.
No one knows you exisit Steve,, you need to be out of the house and doing
things. So call some of them up and say hey, wanna hang out tonight go
clubbing or go dancing play pool. Thats your homework for tonight. THere
will bne no sitting around and twiddling your thumbs and staying home on a
Friday night. THis is ridiculous. Your 21 act like it.

I won't be home for the next few days so I fully expect a full lenghth
report stating how much fun you had and I swear if you even reotely lie to
me about it there will be some nasty nasty surprises for you. Why don't you
go to Shortys tonight. Have your mom drop you off and then go ask some one
there to play pool or dance, kick back a few beer and then hang out. Ask
CIndy to take you and pick you up later.

Steven to Beth
More options 9:40 am (3 hours ago)

Yes I know I need to get out. Problem with your plan is 1) I don't realy want to go to a bar or club its not me and 2) I don't have any guy friends.

[quote] Beth Williams to me
More options 9:59 am (2

[azalea2]

Woah.
So. Many. Words.

random thoughts:
- Getting out is good, but not if it's doing something you hate. Among other things, I do contra dance and Aikido; these are fun things where i can met people, but it's not the (horrid to me) bar scene with loud music and lots of drinking. Coffee shop/bookstore: yes. Bar: no.
- No car makes things hard. I've relied on friend's cars, walking, biking, and public transportation in the past, but those have complications for time, distance, travel, safety, etc. It seems to take a lot more effort.

[crypto]

Woah.
So. Many. Words.

Yeah, sorry.

random thoughts:
- Getting out is good, but not if it's doing something you hate. Among other things, I do contra dance and Aikido; these are fun things where i can met people, but it's not the (horrid to me) bar scene with loud music and lots of drinking. Coffee shop/bookstore: yes. Bar: no..

I'm not into the load music, smoke and booze thing either, so the coffe shop and book store I can handle.

- No car makes things hard. I've relied on friend's cars, walking, biking, and public transportation in the past, but those have complications for time, distance, travel, safety, etc. It seems to take a lot more effort.

When you're in the middle of no where some of those really aren't an option.

[crypto]

few more:

Beth Williams to me
More options 2:47 pm (1 hour ago)

go out more. You don't have a life to talk about you need to get one

From: Steven <cryptod@gmail.com>
>Reply-To: Steven <cryptod@gmail.com>
>To: Beth Williams <beth3w@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Re: advice for you
>Date: Fri, 13 May 2005 12:57:35 -0400

- Hide quoted text -
>
>That is my point. if I can't keep you interested in me as just a freind,
>how
>in the hell can I keep some one interested in me as more then a freind?

Beth Williams to me
More options 2:55 pm (1 hour ago)

It took awhile to get to this point Steve. You can't expect me to be your
only friend. I have a lfe too. You need to be fair. Wanna know why you don't
complain to me Steve: Because you have nothing to complain to me about.
Wanna kow why you listen to me for hours: Because you have nothing better to
do. I like you I really do but I have had a horrible day and I have to tell
you the truth. I am tired of not hurting peoples feelings to cover up how I
really feel. I have pushed you and kept trying But nothing has worked. The
best way to get me to respond is to do something, I am busting my ass
working two jobs long hours and putting up with family crisisis every momnet
and friends complaints. I am doing something your not. Your mom has tried to
get you to apply lots of places for at least a job and you say no I don't
want to do that.

>From: Steven <cryptod@gmail.com>
>Reply-To: Steven <cryptod@gmail.com>
>To: Beth Williams <beth3w@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Re: advice for you
>Date: Fri, 13 May 2005 13:02:57 -0400

- Hide quoted text -
>
>I don't apreciate it when my freind just gives up on me.

Steven to Beth
More options 4:29 pm (0 minutes ago)

Look I see you're point. I know I need a life. I just would prefer it to be My life and not what others think I need/want. Problem is I'm not enterly sure what I want.

Right now working a book store sound good to me, then comeing home and relaxing by messing around on the net for a bit. Beyond that I don't know.


- Hide quoted text -
On 5/13/05, Beth Williams <beth3w@hotmail.com> wrote:
It took awhile to get to this point Steve. You can't expect me to be your
only friend. I have a lfe too. You need to be fair. Wanna know why you don't
complain to me Steve: Because you have nothing to complain to me about.
Wanna kow why you listen to me for hours: Because you have nothing better to
do. I like you I really do but I have had a horrible day and I have to tell
you the truth. I am tired of not hurting peoples feelings to cover up how I
really feel. I have pushed you and kept trying But nothing has worked. The
best way to get me to respond is to do something, I am busting my ass
working two jobs long hours and putting up with family crisisis every momnet
and friends complaints. I am doing something your not. Your mom has tried to
get you to apply lots of places for at least a job and you say no I don't
want to do that.