Joe is handleing it well

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Postby Pauline Hewitt on Tue Aug 21, 2001 10:58 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Josh Phillips:
<B>And women are so self-destructive for refusing to support a relationship in lieu of "one-upping" the man.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Sigh.
I've told you off before about writing my story through Ceilidh so don't start it here too.
Why am I getting so cut up about a silly girl who only exists as lines on paper?<P>PJH
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Postby TW on Tue Aug 21, 2001 11:53 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Quote Aardvark:On the contrary, Joe and Celiidh are having an almost stereotypically gender-based miscommunication. She came to him for affection, support, and reassurance. He's responding with analysis, using his l33t problem-solving skills. No wonder she's whimpering. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Wait a sec here. Do you mean that when a girl comes to a guy with a problem, he -isn't- supposed to use analysis and problem-solving skills? Problem-solving skills are for solving problems.<P>I suppose that this is one more thing that I don't understand about the opposite sex.<P>T.W.
"I've got 1337 problem creating skillz."
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Postby Anh Minh on Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:27 am

It is a universal truth that the male gender is about as much in touch with his emotion as KAH with Mali's political history <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/wink.gif">
(It's for your good, KAH. Punching walls will make you stronger.)
More seriously, I don't know how much the average male is in touch with his emotions. What I do know is that he's not 'allowed' to acknowledge them, on pain of having his virility placed in doubt. And I think it does make a difference in how we handle all that stuff.<P>Anh Minh
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Postby RJ Shep on Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:47 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Josh Phillips:
<B> Indeed. This is one of the things my girlfriend beat me over the head with (and I am eternally grateful for it).
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My wife did the same to me... <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/smile.gif"><P>Now I know there are only 3 things she wants solutions too...
A) There's a bug somewhere
2) there is something mechanical that needs looked at...
or 3) there are dishes to be washed.
Yeah, we are kind of old-fashioned <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/smile.gif"><P>
BTW- Pauline Hewitt... wasn't that the lunatic hipppie counselor from Heathers?
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Postby Charly on Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:51 am

It is more of a cultural thing, really. Women are supposed to be more in touch with her emotions than men.... and society pushes us to adopt those roles. That doesn't mean that sensitive guys don't exist...<P> In my case, I am way to sensitive for the idea society has of a man (specially when you consider we are talking about Mexican society here). That has caused me a share of problems with people who expect me to be more, um, emotionally challenged just because of my chromosomes. But everything works out at the end...<P> The time I messed by offering a solution instead of just listening had to do more with my career choice than with my genes. Yup, I'm an engineer... and as it has been pointed out, we are educated to *solve* problems. We are almost hardwired to think of everything as a problem and to come up with solutions.
But you live and learn...
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Postby K A H on Wed Aug 22, 2001 1:25 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Vae:
<B>Women aren't the only ones who just want a little support when they talk about their problems. That's often what a guy wants too, in my experience.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I was wondering how long it would be before someone pointed this out. (Quite honestly, gender stereotyping when it comes to, well, anything, but especially the ups and downs and ins and outs of romance, makes me want to smash my glasses and throw the fragments at random people on the streets of London.)<P>By mentioning my own example <I>yet again</I>, I'm surely demonstrating some kind of serious self-obsession that needs to be looked into, but it's what I know. All the same, I apologise in advance for boring everyone.<P>I'd almost think if I just mentioned what had happened during and after both of the relationships I've had while somehow not making it clear which gender I was (and hence keeping the gender of my significant others obscure), judging from some of the "standards" I've heard, both in this forum and elsewhere, people would probably assume I'm a girl! (Although, two of my friends once quipped that maybe I should have been born as such for some of the reasons I'm about to point out.)<P>I can't point to any one reason or group of reasons why I'm as fragile as I am, but I am, and if there's anything I can do about it, I either don't know what it is or am concerned about the time factor involved. I certainly don't like this aspect of myself, since as far as I'm concerned it makes me a very tricky person to be around.<P>Now, I'm not going to go into specifics here out of respect for them, but let's just say neither of my girlfriends showed much regard for it. Either by appearing completely indifferent or by effectively holding me in contempt, as though fragility is something that can be easily remedied, and if I don't know how, well, screw me.<P>If I paid
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Postby K A H on Wed Aug 22, 2001 1:41 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Anh Minh:
<B>It is a universal truth that the male gender is about as much in touch with his emotion as KAH with Mali's political history <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/wink.gif">
(It's for your good, KAH. Punching walls will make you stronger.)</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm typing this with a typing wand held in my teeth because I broke eleven bones in my hand when I punched the wall. I hope you're satisfied, Anh Minh :P <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/smile.gif"><P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Anh Minh:
<B>More seriously, I don't know how much the average male is in touch with his emotions. What I do know is that he's not 'allowed' to acknowledge them, on pain of having his virility placed in doubt. And I think it does make a difference in how we handle all that stuff.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I've slowly stopped giving a damn about exuding any aura of alleged masculinity, and as near as I can tell, no-one else gives a damn that I have. (Of course, considering what a recluse I am, maybe I just haven't gathered enough data, as it were. (Phrasing by my inner scientist.))<P>There is, alas, a grain of truth in almost every stereotype, and the tenacity with which society embraces them, particularly as concerns gender roles, as near as I can tell, just perpetuates them. Personally, I think these stereotypical gender roles are pure, unadulterated bollocks. I may not follow this maxim to the letter, but I can say here at least that I'm happier staying true to myself rather than conforming to how society thinks the typical heterosexual male should behave. If society takes issue with my refusal, as a heterosexual male, to deny that I have any emotions at all, well, screw society.<P>(Although I still wish I were less fragile. Just not to the degree it seems society thinks I should be.)<P>K.A.H.
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Postby Anh Minh on Wed Aug 22, 2001 1:54 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by K A H:
<B> I've slowly stopped giving a damn about exuding any aura of alleged masculinity, and as near as I can tell, no-one else gives a damn that I have. (Of course, considering what a recluse I am, maybe I just haven't gathered enough data, as it were. (Phrasing by my inner scientist.))<P>There is, alas, a grain of truth in almost every stereotype, and the tenacity with which society embraces them, particularly as concerns gender roles, as near as I can tell, just perpetuates them. Personally, I think these stereotypical gender roles are pure, unadulterated bollocks. I may not follow this maxim to the letter, but I can say here at least that I'm happier staying true to myself rather than conforming to how society thinks the typical heterosexual male should behave. If society takes issue with my refusal, as a heterosexual male, to deny that I have any emotions at all, well, screw society.<P>(Although I still wish I were less fragile. Just not to the degree it seems society thinks I should be.)<P>K.A.H.
whose physical strength and emotional strength cannot be underestimated.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>
I went through a phase like that. I thought that since I didn't care what people think, I could be myself. It was an affirmation of my identity. Maybe I'll do it again. Now I find it easier to just behave the way others expect me to. Since I still don't care what they think, I don't feel the need to show them who I am, how I think.<P>When was I wrong?<P>Anh Minh
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Postby Vae on Wed Aug 22, 2001 11:13 am

Women aren't the only ones who just want a little support when they talk about their problems. That's often what a guy wants too, in my experience.<P>People generally want to solve their problems themselves. They usually only want help if they expressly ask. If they're too proud to ask, they'd probably be too proud to accept help as well.
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