Joe is handleing it well

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Postby DragonFlare on Tue Aug 21, 2001 12:07 am

Whatever Joe is doing, it's the best for what he can do. What she needs to do is listen and not whimper. Take the good out of what Joe is saying and apply it to her mind. Good luck Joe, wish ya the best of luck.<P>Thanks<P>------------------
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Postby Josh Phillips on Tue Aug 21, 2001 12:19 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TW:
<B> Wait a sec here. Do you mean that when a girl comes to a guy with a problem, he -isn't- supposed to use analysis and problem-solving skills? Problem-solving skills are for solving problems.<P>I suppose that this is one more thing that I don't understand about the opposite sex.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Indeed. This is one of the things my girlfriend beat me over the head with (and I am eternally grateful for it).<P>When a girl comes to you with a problem, the intent isn't necessarily for the problem to be *solved*. Take heed of her wording when she describes it to you -- odds are she won't ever mention the words "solve," "help," etc. Sometimes the goal is merely to find an understanding person (you), who can share the frustration. As an added complication... if you *do* solve the problem, or offer up possible solutions, you can actually server to make her feel *inferior*, or worthless because she couldn't figure it out, but you just did in 5 minutes.<P>I hate to make it sound like a simple science... but there are significant differences in the way men and women communicate (and even *think* on the most basic levels), and it's sad that a relationship should be torn apart by a genetic or societal gap. ne of the most important things to hold a relationship together is a mutual understanding of communications problems (and a willingness to work around them).<P>JOSH.<P>------------------
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Postby TheLaser on Tue Aug 21, 2001 12:22 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TW:
<B> Wait a sec here. Do you mean that when a girl comes to a guy with a problem, he -isn't- supposed to use analysis and problem-solving skills? Problem-solving skills are for solving problems.<P>I suppose that this is one more thing that I don't understand about the opposite sex.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Absolutely, definatley NOT!<P>When a girl comes to a guy with her problems, usually the best thing to do is to comiserate with her about how terriable and unfair the world and/or person causing her problem is. After you're done with that, then, maybe try and fix things. Maybe.
<P>------------------
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Postby Tyvar on Tue Aug 21, 2001 12:43 am

<P> Jeez this topic may get is in trouble with the lady folk, but its true! offering solutions gets you into trouble, you have to wait for them to ask for help! and even then with some women offering a good solution may be suicide. it makes them feel incapable, which I guess I understand. <P> The is a difference of genders, each one has its own crazy quirks, Im sure the ladies will start critizing male habbits next.<P>
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Postby Pauline Hewitt on Tue Aug 21, 2001 12:51 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TheLaser:
<B>Absolutely, definatley NOT!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>In spades.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>When a girl comes to a guy with her problems, usually the best thing to do is to comiserate with her about how terriable and unfair the world and/or person causing her problem is.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>If I have a problem I don't need telling how to fix it. If it was that easy I would have fixed it. In fact I probably already have fixed it but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I need to unwind. I need to have somebody agree just how unfair it was. I need a friend not a smart arse.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>After you're done with that, then, maybe try and fix things. Maybe.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You want to die?
Slowly?
You can't win doing that. You are going so far off track I have a right to get upset.
Men are so stupid about relationships.<P>PJH
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Postby Josh Phillips on Tue Aug 21, 2001 1:03 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pauline Hewitt:
<B><P>
Men are so stupid about relationships.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>And women are so self-destructive for refusing to support a relationship in lieu of "one-upping" the man.
<P>JOSH.<P>------------------
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Postby Tangent on Tue Aug 21, 2001 1:27 am

So what you're saying, Josh, is that Joe should have just kept quiet, let her throw herself at him, make a mistake, and thus ruin their friendship that way instead of going the path he did?<P>Well, damned if you do, damned if you don't, at least one way you'd have a day of pleasure out of it (cynical bastard that I am)... <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/rolleyes.gif"><P>Sorry, no. Joe did the right thing. Even if Ceilidh might not think so.<P>------------------
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Postby Anh Minh on Tue Aug 21, 2001 1:42 am

I think it's more "a good deed never goes unpunished" than "damn if you do...".
Yes, Joe did do the right thing. More or less. One mihgt argue he wouldn't have gotten into this mess if he'd acted sooner. But hey, nobody's perfect.
But even so, they're both gonna suffer. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/frown.gif">
Life's bitch.<P>Anh Minh
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Postby Charly on Tue Aug 21, 2001 2:05 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>When a girl comes to you with a problem, the intent isn't necessarily for the problem to be *solved*. Take heed of her wording when she describes it to you -- odds are she won't ever mention the words "solve," "help," etc. Sometimes the goal is merely to find an understanding person (you), who can share the frustration. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> Cal me clueless, but while I've known this for a while (learned it by screwing up, like most males <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/tongue.gif">), I hadn't thought about this in relation to Joe's efforts. Suddenly 50% of my optimism for tomorrow's strip has evaporated...
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Postby TheMike on Tue Aug 21, 2001 2:12 am

<FONT FACE='Arial, Helvetica'>...this bothers me a lot. Girls come to me for advice all the time. Does that mean they don't consider me a guy or something?!<P>Man, no wonder I keep getting rejected.<P>-The Mike</FONT>
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Postby MacGypsy on Tue Aug 21, 2001 2:12 am

Just a note:
I am in a similar position now, that is a good friend and someone I love very much, is having life troubles. I want desprately to make things better for her. Can I? no. and yes I was stupid enough to try and help. Am I in the Poop house now? yes.<P>The bottom line is that I feel like a heel, The guy that just listens and nods like a puppet is (Her only real friend) and I'm still confused as to how to talk to her.<P>back to Avalon: Joe is a great guy, and C
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Postby Ryushikaze on Tue Aug 21, 2001 3:36 am

In my opinion. I believe that Joe is doing what is absolutely the best in Cielidh's interest. Supporting her. Yes, he HAS kind of analyzed her problems into a nutshell, but he has also told her that she doesn't need to have these problems, that they are unfounded, and that she has friends who are more than willing to help her if she may so need help.<P>To recap: He's dealing with it how anyone should. Get to the heart of the problem, then solve the problem by getting to the heart of the person.
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Postby Trialpha on Tue Aug 21, 2001 4:15 am

Joe should be thankful he's not an engineer. We have 4 years of training designed specifically to program us to solve problems. The only way an engineer won't solve a problem is if they don't care (which appears to depend on what stream they're in). And that's even more trouble, because if one doesn't care, they're not likely to offer much support.<P>Course, in the case of a hefty number of engineers the point is merely academic anyway - what with few females talking to them in the first place.<P>--
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Postby Willowbear on Tue Aug 21, 2001 4:33 am

As I suspected Joe is handeling this matter like no guy I have ever met. Way to go Joe! He is actually saying no to her advances, and still boosting her ego in the process. How many guys can do that, while sitting across from a topless girl? Not many, I still don't know what the abrupt end title means, but I am not so sure it's J & C anymore. Hopefully, since he is now showing what a great guy he is.
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Postby telex on Tue Aug 21, 2001 4:42 am

True, he seems to be tring to 'fix' it rather than relating to what she is feeling.<P>If the 3rd panel's dialog was set with this in mind, the outcome would be much better.
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Postby Ties on Tue Aug 21, 2001 5:48 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Willowbear:
<B>He is actually saying no to her advances, and still boosting her ego in the process. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I don't know if he really did boost her ego. She did whimper at the end. We can't forget about that. My guess is that right now Ceilidh is really messed up psychologically. We simply can't predict what she'll do.
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Postby Lochlainn10 on Tue Aug 21, 2001 6:52 am

She's not listening to him.<P>All she's hearing is the rejection, not the reasons.<P>
Dammit, Ceilidh, grow up! Can't you see how much Joe really does care about you? He's trying to keep you from making a big mistake!<P>AAAggggggggggggghhh!<P>------------------
Loch<P>---begin CRFH!!! code ---
My last name is really Green... and I was born in April... got an inlaw named Chester... ok, this is getting more than a little wierd.
F U++ !IRC R+ H++ PSL+++ FW S-- FR-- WB- GN+ MW++++ AI+++ D&M+++ !BSL N++ P+++ W++++(!!!) I+ E+++ DOOM+ SOC+++ AF
---end CRFH!!! code ---
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Postby Oilerfan on Tue Aug 21, 2001 7:20 am

Joe's not like any guy I've ever met, either. <P>He's never even <b>kissed</b> a girl! That's a bit slow by my estimation.<P>Maybe he's the gay one. There could be somthing between he and Alan.<P>Eh? ;-)
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Postby David Adrian on Tue Aug 21, 2001 7:32 am

No, Josh is NOT saying Joe should have let Ceilidh throw herself at him. (Not that I think that was what she actually was doing, but that's covered in another thread...) What he's saying is that Joe needs to LISTEN to her - and I heartily agree! I think Joe made a mistake by cutting her off (the "Mph" in panel one), but hopefully he'll let her talk in the next strip (30 more minutes, more or less...). These two have something here that could die between two words... or could grow like Jack's Beanstalk. I know which I'm hoping for...
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Postby Guest on Tue Aug 21, 2001 7:42 am

Joe's not handling anything! Especially not Ceilidh's mellons!<P>Now, compare those to any non-nude strip of her. Same breast size, braless or not, and not bad, either. IMHO, anything about her using a bra to enhance appearance is false.<P>This, of course, coming from someone who knows his titties. And no, I don't mean that I have breasts, Fool, so don't even go there.
<P>------------------
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Postby Dandin on Tue Aug 21, 2001 7:49 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Oilerfan:
<B>Joe's not like any guy I've ever met, either. <P>He's never even kissed</B> a girl! That's a bit slow by my estimation.<P>Maybe he's the gay one. There could be somthing between he and Alan.<P>Eh? ;-)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> Well, sadly enough, I've never kissed a girl either. <P>Dandin<P><P>------------------
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Postby Lochlainn10 on Tue Aug 21, 2001 7:56 am

Coldacid, up your dosage. Or at least take a cold shower.<P>Judging by Joe's personality, he's never considered it important. It's always something he intended to do when the time was right.<P>There's no set ages by which you should advance sexually. Advancement emotionally is a much more necessary component.<P>------------------
Loch<P>---begin CRFH!!! code ---
My last name is really Green... and I was born in April... got an inlaw named Chester... ok, this is getting more than a little wierd.
F U++ !IRC R+ H++ PSL+++ FW S-- FR-- WB- GN+ MW++++ AI+++ D&M+++ !BSL N++ P+++ W++++(!!!) I+ E+++ DOOM+ SOC+++ AF
---end CRFH!!! code ---
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Postby aardvark on Tue Aug 21, 2001 8:01 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Willowbear:
<B>As I suspected Joe is handeling this matter like no guy I have ever met.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>On the contrary, Joe and Celiidh are having an almost stereotypically gender-based miscommunication. She came to him for affection, support, and reassurance. He's responding with analysis, using his l33t problem-solving skills. No wonder she's whimpering.<P>(To give Joe credit he <i>is</i> doing a nice job of avoiding another male stereotype - and that can't be easy, Ceilidh's breasts <i>are</i> quite attractive.)<P>------------------
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Postby Fool on Tue Aug 21, 2001 9:27 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by coldacid:
<B>And no, I don't mean that I have breasts, Fool, so don't even go there.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Either way, I wouldn't want to.<P>*scurries away*
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Postby Itlandm on Tue Aug 21, 2001 9:47 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by aardvark:
<B> On the contrary, Joe and Celiidh are having an almost stereotypically gender-based miscommunication. She came to him for affection, support, and reassurance. He's responding with analysis, using his l33t problem-solving skills. No wonder she's whimpering.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>However, the alternative would be horribly dangerous. He is already giving her verbal support and reassurance and it doesn't seem to work. Tactile support would almost certainly carry a very high probability of involuntary physical reactions on behalf of one or the other or both of them. While that might be great fun for the viewers, it would be very awkward for the two of them.<P>------------------
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