Looking back on the state of my strips, of late, I've come to a big conclusion...
I really fell short of my my aims for my strips.
When stressed, I plummet back into the sad state of Validation Through Comparison
, and I make my self increasingly more and more depressed by looking at what other people's comics have and what they've accomplished as opposed to what I'm lacking and why I continue to flounder in near-obscurity, and I make myself miserable. Subsequently, my production flounders, and I dig myself deeper into the hole of what made me depressed in the first place.
It's a vicious cycle, really. A lot of what bothers me about my work, and the webcomics field, in general, I've really brought upon myself. I allow myself to be jealous of other people, because I don't want to own up to the idea that maybe my work, in it's past and current forms, doesn't deserve the praise, accolades and hype that others' work has. I get frustrated with the audience for not responding to my work in a fashion that I'd like to see, even though the writing and art, in most regards is pretty-well pedestrian, and really not worthy of much discussion.
I can't keep blaming others for my own shortcomings. If things are going wrong, 9 times out of 10, I could have prevented it or worked around it, somehow.
I don't want to think that I have some entitlement complex or anything, and that my work deserves
better. I like it. I think there's a lot
of room for improvement, but I still like it, nonetheless. I want better for them, but I know that such trappings and accolades are earned, not just given, because I work hard or because, despite my numerous faults, deep down, I'm an amiable lug.
Still, I'm not going to beg for these benefits. I need to earn them, and if I play that "please like me" game, I really didn't earn anything at all... Then, if I were to receive anything, it would only be charity, and that has a hollow note to it. I need to do something to try and dig myself out of this horrible pit of near-obscurity that I've pretty-well resided in for the past few years, and that thing is to work hard... Harder than I have before. Not to mention smarter.
Part of what kills me is my lack of attention to the finer details. Often times, when I feel like I'm running behind or not happy with the way things are progressing, I just stumble along, leaving out details, both visual-wise and story-wise. I can't keep working that way. No one is going to be rivveted to a story that has more plot holes than Swiss cheese. No one's going to be blown away by art style, when all it is it close ups or shots of characters and no backgrouds, whatsoever. I can't afford to be lazy about this stuff, if I want to be better.
No amount of plugging or pimping or bribing will do it, either... No matter how you plug or hype something, it the product is substandard, then it's substandard. No amount of dressing up will change that cold, hard fact.