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Wolf of The Seas: Chapter 5: About Dang Time.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:32 pm
by KylenPhylar
So yeah. Think of this as a save space for a project I'm going to run with Tale of The Writer's Pen, so that I don't get too much writer's block.

Basically, I was playing Sid Meyer's Pirates, and I got the idea for this. No, there are no anthros, no aliens.

We're going old school, straight up. To the time of the Pirates. Of the Caribbean fights, of privateers turned Pirates. When captians worked 3 sides of the line.

And no, I haven't dropped Writer's pen. I'm just having some difficulty on it.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:40 pm
by Grim Atescu

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:45 pm
by Atashi-Cloud
I will enjoy reading such a material as of when it comes into being existant...unless of course it coming into existance follows just after my departure from this thread, upon which I shall have to re-exist here to read it...

*pauses for a second*Savvy, eh? :smug:

PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:21 pm
by KylenPhylar
Rated P for Pirates

Chapter one: Strike the Sails

As I write this journal, I hope it will survive well after our time, as to tell our tale, from my perspective. This is the tale of the pirate brig Wolf of War, and it's crew. It all started out many years ago. It was about the summer of 1660. England and France were having at it again, and I was but a lad. That's when I met one of the most important influences in my life...

The young man, about the age of 18 looked over the sea, sitting there on the docks, well out of anyone's way. It was the port of St. Kitt, an English settlement. He gazed at the ships passing by, coming into port, and leaving again. Some dropping off troops, some bringing in settlers. His favorite were the small fleets that marked the payroll or the privateers, or as some called them, Pirates. That was his dream.

Oh yes, he has heard every tale. About Blackbeard and Henry and all in between. He memorized every face on the most saluted and most wanted posters. That was his dream. To become the most saluted to some, and the most hated to others. To rule the sea with his pirate crew, so trustworthy and loyal. To plunder French ports, and sink Dutch sloops. Protect the queen's fleets, and to spite the Spanish merchantmen. Of course, as all pirates, he'd be out for himself and his crew, taking what paid and doing as he wished.

"Yun! Wake up! Breaks over, and we need to get back to work!" one of his friends said, waving at him. "Hurry up!" she said, smiling.

Yun nodded, standing and running across the docks, grinning. He loved his work, unloading ships of merchants, seeing all the cargo. But today would not be like any other day.

A horn blew, a bell sounded, and he turned. Out in the distance, he could just barely make out the cannon fire. He ran to a near by person, taking their spyglass and peering out. He could see the flag of the Spanish Empire, a brig or such, from the size. It was under attack, but he couldn't see an enemy. Then, the cannonfire stopped, and the flag lowered slowly.

Quickly, Yun ran to Ten, who looked confused. "What's going on?" she asked worriedly, looking about.

"I'm not sure, but that ship is coming in to dock." he said, pointing to it, as she looked around.

The large ship came in slowly, against the wind, eerily quite untill the sounds of cheering could be heard aboard. One man especially, at the helm, grinning widely.

"Men!" he said, heard as they pulled into port. "The ship is ours! That blasted manwench of a captain gone. Who shall be leader?" he asked, looking at the crew below.

"You should be! It was all your idea!" one said, many more murmuring agreements and nodding. The man at the helm smiling.

"So be it! You are all now crew under the command of Captian Kylen, of the brig Wolf of War!" he pronounced loudly, throwing his fist in the air. The crew cheered. "But first, let us port and stock up, so we may start our journey around our new home." Kylen said, the men cheering again as they pulled to dock.

Yun gawked at the largeish ship, wondering what it would be like to sail upon it, to be among them. Ten looked slightly aghast. "T..they killed their captain..." she said, looking white.

The teen shook his head. "They probably just put him on a row boat, to fend for himself." he guessed, as he helped shoar it to the dock. "Bet he was worth the mutiny though."

Ten shook her head. "No man could be that bad of a captain." she said, looping the rope. her short hair and smallish chest at 17 made her look male, and her tom boyishness didn't help. Yun just chuckled and finished his job.

"Come on. Lets head to the tavern. I'll buy you a meal." he said, pulling her in to pat her on the shoulder. Ten grinned.

"You know how much I eat, Yun. You'd go broke." she said, pushing him playfully. "Besides, that dreadful crew just headed that way, and mom doesn't like me going there."

"Oh come on. When have you listened to her. You even wrapped your chest so you could get this job." her companion countered, smirking as she blushed slightly. "Come on. It's one meal. What's the worst that could happen?"

PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:24 pm
by Grim Atescu
...Yun, you fool, never say "What's the worst that could happen"!

PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:35 pm
by Drayco
Pirates? ForumFics?

...oh hell yes. X3

PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:35 pm
Firsts off: writing Pirates in the 1860's? awesome, just awesome.

Pirates are always an interesting group to watch but there is just a mystic about writing about them in the time they are most famous for.
Writing as a journal is a nice. I have always liked as a story telling style.

The intros were well written, and the dialogue flows naturally and you get a good feel for the setting.
the comment about Ten needing to wrap her chest to get the job was a nice element of realism to it that helps to set it solidly in the time frame.

The ship's entrance is good. while not needed per say, a bit more history on the captain and why they mutinied might be nice.

And yes, that is the worst thing to ask, I am sure the coming chapters will answer it.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:13 am
by Cheez
Heh. Pirates and the forum. Awesometude.

First chapter's seeming pretty damn awesome. Keep it up, dude!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:00 am
by Malachy19
*read read* Ah, I enjoyed it. I am glad to say that you're writing has definitely improved, which is always a good thing. You describe things as the story moves, not pausing for description, and you don;t give everything away in one chunk, nicely done. I anticipate more.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:23 am
by FaweFC44
Agreed, it's gotten much better since your last forumfic ^_^

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:26 am
by Amon Star
Indeed, this was a very good first Chapter. The characters seem real, the setting is realistic & your writing style is pleasing. However, I have one very important question:



PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 12:47 pm
by Kum-El

And maybe an appearance?

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:14 pm
by Drayco
Kum-El wrote:MOOORE!

And maybe an appearance?


Also Drayco kinda is naturally a pirate... >.>;

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:16 pm
by Atashi-Cloud
I love how the story is going so far, Kylen...though I'm curious as to whom you'll include since there are so many people to add.^^;


PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:34 pm
by hammerqueen
1. Great story so far! Love the descriptions and the various possibilities as far as storyline/plot goes.
2. You've really improved with your writing; keep up the good work. :)

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:33 pm
by KylenPhylar
Aww thanks all. I might even have a second chapter up for you tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Depends on how everything works out.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:32 pm
by KylenPhylar
Rated P for Pirates

Chapter 2: Raise Anchor

Already seated, Kylen and his crew where having some drinks, and some food, telling their story as Yun and Ten walked in.

"Well now, you see. We was coming in from Spain, all was fine and well the first month. It wasn't 'til the second one he started working us like slaves, doing all manner of back breaking work with no rest and little food." the man says, looking no older then Yun himself. "So there we were, about a week's time from port, when we finally decided to dump the bastard where we were. Luckily, we were just outside of this precious port. Aye, it was a good fight, and he had his officers with him, but he was no match for us." he said, drinking down some ale. "Now all we need is a new flag, to go with our new ship, Right men?" Kylen asked, ayes going up all around the crew.

Yun stepped forward. "My mother is a seamstress...she might be able to sew you something in a few days, with the right pay." he said, trying to be brave in front of the men. Kylen smirked, looking him up and down. He smiled, took a swig, and set the mug down.

"Tell yer ma she'll get 40 gold if she makes us a flag befitting Wolf of War, boy. If it's good enough, we might even let you and your friend thar join us. You look strong enough. Bet it gets boring in a small port like this." he said, getting up. "Kumel, go down to the shipwright and pay him to make sure the ship is tip top." he said, passing along a small bag of gold to the taller man, who nodded and headed out. "The rest of you scallywags stay here and try not to cause to much trouble. I have a mayor to speak to." he said, leaving himself.

Yun nodded quickly, grabing his food and Ten's, along with Ten, and ran out before him. "Did you hear that! We could be on a real pirate ship!" he said, once they slowed down. "We've got to tell Cameo!" he said, smiling like a mad man.

Ten looked at him. "Are you even sure about that? I mean...we have a good life here!" she replied, munching on the food. "Sure, 40 gold is a good price...but come on."

"Ten, we work as dock workers for less then a gold a day. Almost no one even comes to port here. We could use the treasure, and my mom could go on easier if I was out and about making money for us." the teen said, leading the way to his house. "Besides, it's not like it will be forever. And you'll be coming along. And maybe even Cammy. I mean, she's just like you." he said, pointing to the chest area.

Ten blushed again, sticking out her tongue. "Well, it's hard being a girl in port. Not many respectable jobs." she said. "You know that."

"Which is why it would be good for you to go with us! It's not like they'll find out. And even if you do, by that time you'd have proved your worth to them, and they won't drop you off or worse." Yun said, opening the door. He smirked when he saw Cameo in there, getting her wraps fixed up. Unfortunately for both, her shirt was off.

"YUN!" she cried out, covering herself, as he closed the door, blushing hard. "You asshole. You know to knock before coming in!" she yelled, cursing his name.

"Sorry sorry. I forgot entirely that it was your monthly refit. Let me know when you are clothed." Yun said though the door, blushing HARD. Of course, it was then that Ten thwapped him.

"Got him for a good one for you Cammy." She called inside.

"Good. It's safe now." was heard. Yun slowly opened the door, sighing in relief that Cameo was now fully dressed, as his mother worked on her wrap.

"Hey a job for you." Yun said, smiling as he walked over.

"What is it, Yun?" she asked, looking up.

"A boat needs a new flag. They'll pay 40 gold for one fitting the name Wolf of War." he said, sitting down. His mother sat there, very much surprised.

"Forty gold? My word." she said, finishing up the wrap, and handing it to Cammy, who went with Ten into a back room to get it into place. "That's a lot of money for a set of flags."

"I know...but he's also offering me and Ten and Cammy a place on his ship. It'd be a chance for me to do what I want, to get out of this bloody dump, and try to get you more money." her son said, looking strong. "I'll go either way, but I would like you to make the flag." he said, putting his hand on her arm. She nodded, getting out some dark blue, so dark it was almost black. he smiled and stepped outside, to wait for the others.

Meanwhile, Kylen was having words with the mayor.

"Come on sir. All I would like is a Letter of Marque. That's all." He said, standing before the Mayor. "I even got rid of a Spanish captain for you, and I KNOW England and Spain are at war."

The mayor nodded. "I know. I will have one ready for you in three days. If you can wait until then to terrorize those damned Spaniards, then please do, Mr. Kylen."

Kylen nodded. "Thank you much, sir." he said, leaving the room. He smirked widely. "Oh bountiful treasure ships, my name is Kylen." he said to himself, walking back down to the pub.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:41 pm
by Kum-El
Whoo, cameo!

And Cameo too for that matter!


PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:48 pm
by Author-Man
Roger Moore, even.
Excellent work, Kylen. Your writing improves noticeably with each story.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:49 pm
by Atashi-Cloud
I shall SECOND my friend the Kryptonian here on that.^^;

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 9:14 pm
by Cameo
Woot! A Cameo appearance! *Flrrd from the rotten fruit.*

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:54 am
by Cheez
Roger Moore, even.
Excellent work, Kylen. Your writing improves noticeably with each story.

Most definitely. This. Fic. Is. Awesome.

Just wondering if you'd decided on who's appearing in the other chapters? *hopeful wink*

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:04 am
by Amon Star
Bah. Why waste time with a Letter of Marque. Captain Jack Sparrow doesn't have one & Sexy-Awesome!

And where are the Ninjas?

Silliness aside, excellent Chapter. :)

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:32 am
by OzLionHeart
'Tis indeed an excellent story I await the next instalment.

Y'know, I've never been in a forumfic, either...

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:15 pm
by hammerqueen
Great work! Try to keep this one going, hmm? ;P It's quite good so far.

[[Sorry for the double post earlier; I didn't notice 'til just now, and it happened in another thread too. ^_^;;;]]