[Painted Black Fanfic]The Lost Brother

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[Painted Black Fanfic]The Lost Brother

Postby Atashi-Cloud on Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:21 am

This is an oldie, but so far it'd been resting on my mind for quite a while...I've decided to re-do most of it and put it back up so the new generation of forum-goers here can read it, and to see what sort of new feedback I get.^^; I'll be doing all this in Chunks and sections, but it should start to read like a book...the beginning's a bit hazy, but it was hard for me to re-write half of it(what with it being old and me not remembering half of it). I hope you guys enjoy it.

All characters of Dan Shive are copyright to him.

~Chapter 1: The start of it all~

Nighttime on a road leading into Moperville where you find a sign that reads,
Last edited by Atashi-Cloud on Tue Nov 14, 2006 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Y'know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail. Or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I've come full-circle. ---Vegeta, DBZ Abridged
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fdads

Postby Atashi-Cloud on Tue Nov 14, 2006 1:14 pm

More from the re-written parts, and it'll be like this for a while as I don't want to overwhelm the readers just yet.^^; I'm still trying to figure out where this bit of continuity fits, but I think the readers are better at that than me.^^;

All characters other than Atashi are copyright Dan Shive.

~Chapter 2: A Trip~

Atashi sighs as she looks about, the sun blazing brightly above her as she waits outside the movie theatre looking rather angry. Hedge eventually comes out, walking up to her. "Hey, what's wrong? You seem a bit more tense than usual..."

"It's this stupid weather. I can't stand the heat...it's making me all itchy and sweaty, and I can't enjoy the night if I'm overheating in these clothes..." She picks at the tube-top she's wearing, along with the small miniskirt. Hedge just smirks.

"Why don't we get back to Susan's? After all, we're living there for now." He begins to walk off, but Atashi stays behind. Hedge looks back once he notices she's not walking with him. "Or...we could stop by and see Grace?" He guesses, almost certain that she wants to go see her sister. Atashi looks back, grinning.

"How'd you know?" She is quite amused, yet also curious.

"I guessed..." Hedge replies simply, as Atashi comes up to him and they walk off to Tedd's house to go see Grace. Atashi and Hedge arrive at Tedd's house, knocking on the door to let them know they've arrived. Grace answers the door, smiling as she sees that it's Atashi and Hedge.

"HI!" she immediately hugs Atashi, Hedge rolling his eyes a bit.

Grace and Atashi part, and Hedge asks, "So, can you spare some time to talk with us?" Grace nods vigorously, tugging on both Atashi and Hedge's hands to pull them into the house.

Tedd asks immediately, "What are you three going to do?"

Grace tackle-hugs Tedd, responding cutely, "We're going to chat for a while, do you want to join us?"

Tedd gulps, looking slightly nervous, "Uh...I think I'll stay here. Elliot and Sarah are going to come over soon. Elliot's been planning this for a while, so I'm stuck here."

Grace pouts cutely, then sighs, "Okay...I'll be downstairs with Atashi and Hedge, Tedd. Tell your dad if he asks, okay?" Tedd just nods as they leave, heading right into the basement. Not too long after they've taken up spots around the computer, Grace asks the all-important topic query. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Atashi grins, looking to Hedge, who nods back in response.

~End Chapter 2~

yet again, comments are welcome, thank you for reading.^^;
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"Contrary to popular belief, THE INTERNET IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS." --- Kalga
"Your mistakes were twofold, I'm afraid. You sprung your trap without looking to see if the game you hunted was the one you'd snare. And you sold me short. I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate." --- Balthier
Y'know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail. Or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I've come full-circle. ---Vegeta, DBZ Abridged
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Postby Jesse_God_of_Awesome on Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:54 pm

Good.
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Postby Latios on Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:12 pm

Nice. I can't wait for the next chapter!
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Postby WMS on Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:52 pm

Yes, I am indeed following this again. I've forgotten some of what happened in the first go-around so I'll just quietly enjoy this one. :P
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Postby Atashi-Cloud on Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:56 pm

Well, since most of this is a re-cap before I continue writing it again...don't worry, WMS.^^ oh yeah, I also decided that since I'm re-writing most of it again, I'm gonna add some extra stuff with it. Just because I feel that it'll flesh out more of the storyline stuff.^^; the only lasting issue now is College, which I hope won't last long. Next part will be up sometime tomorrow around nighttime PST.
Current Avatar: Lapis O. Rimewing, lined by Sanchay, colored by me.
Youtubez; Oh hey, an LP by me! Youmu Konpaku: Swordswoman of Awesome Nyan-cat Miku style
"Contrary to popular belief, THE INTERNET IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS." --- Kalga
"Your mistakes were twofold, I'm afraid. You sprung your trap without looking to see if the game you hunted was the one you'd snare. And you sold me short. I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate." --- Balthier
Y'know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail. Or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I've come full-circle. ---Vegeta, DBZ Abridged
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Re: [Painted Black Fanfic]The Lost Brother

Postby Proginoskes on Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:40 am

I'm sorry to zombiethread this, but: 1) What happened to Ch1? All I can see is a notably well-written sentence fragment.
2) Either finish posting this story here or put it on ff.net or tell me it's on your dA or SOMETHING, just please don't leave me at Ch2 with no way of reading the rest.
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Re: [Painted Black Fanfic]The Lost Brother

Postby Atashi-Cloud on Fri Aug 22, 2008 9:12 am

actually, there was much more to this than what you see currently.^^;

I'm not one to revisit old fanfics, not to mention this is a very old thread that shouldn't really have been pulled up from the bowels of Mayhem history...but, since you've decided it needs mentioning...

Yes, the fragment is there, but it's likely because of the 'data loss' from updating Keenspot to the current style it is. I'm pretty sure it isn't surprising to find this issue everywhere else on the Forum, but it does create a harrowing problem for those of us who have a long history here.
Current Avatar: Lapis O. Rimewing, lined by Sanchay, colored by me.
Youtubez; Oh hey, an LP by me! Youmu Konpaku: Swordswoman of Awesome Nyan-cat Miku style
"Contrary to popular belief, THE INTERNET IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS." --- Kalga
"Your mistakes were twofold, I'm afraid. You sprung your trap without looking to see if the game you hunted was the one you'd snare. And you sold me short. I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate." --- Balthier
Y'know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail. Or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I've come full-circle. ---Vegeta, DBZ Abridged
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