The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby mind-controlled-bunny@_@ on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:18 pm

Ugh. Just realizing that I am on the verge of a bad cold. This is my 5th one this six months and I think my medicine I started taking in the past six months is making me more susceptible. >_<
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby theopenandclosedbook on Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:45 pm

OK, this is going to sound really stupid.

I'm just sad. I don't know why. I've almost finished my GCSE's (last exam to go), I'm hanging out with my friends a lot more, life is good, but I don't know. I was watching one of my friends draw, and something just click, and my happiness, or my façade of happiness, just vanished. I think it was me wanting to be better at art, but every time I sit down to draw, I feel sadder. I want to get better, but I can't. Nothing seems to cheer me up. I can keep a happy face on, but I don't know for how long.

I know it is stupid, but right now, I just need a hug and some well wishing. Or if Uber is around, a good kick up the arse.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby kgirl1992 on Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:03 pm

*HUG*
its not that stupid, the same things happened to me (not exactly the same but the whole every reason to be happy but you aren't thing)
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Kum-El wrote: It is a belief among certain portions of the student body at their school (and their fellow half-bloods) that the Zeus brothers are gay, and that the only reason Hermes hasn't come out of the closet is that Aaron's also in there and has a deathgrip on the doorknob.

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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby mandros on Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:11 pm

"Manly hug" Been there buddy. Just keep keep drawing. The worst critic you will ever get is your self. and that's no self confidence mumbo jumbo. i know from experience for the record i think my art is junk.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby OzLionHeart on Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:08 pm

*hug* It happens.

Avoid beating yourself up over it; it will only make you feel worse.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby uberschveinen on Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:50 pm

theopenandclosedbook wrote:OK, this is going to sound really stupid.

I'm just sad. I don't know why. I've almost finished my GCSE's (last exam to go), I'm hanging out with my friends a lot more, life is good, but I don't know. I was watching one of my friends draw, and something just click, and my happiness, or my façade of happiness, just vanished. I think it was me wanting to be better at art, but every time I sit down to draw, I feel sadder. I want to get better, but I can't. Nothing seems to cheer me up. I can keep a happy face on, but I don't know for how long.

I know it is stupid, but right now, I just need a hug and some well wishing. Or if Uber is around, a good kick up the arse.



Of course you're sad. You've near-finished something you've been working towards for five years directly now, with a clear goal in sight, and no doubt in your mind. Sure, there's the details in the process that you had to resolve, but no matter how complicated the situation got, you always knew how it would end. Your GSCE has been the one clear goal of your life from the age when you first figured out that people rather preferred to employ such people as had impressively-framed pieces of paper, which is, by now, the overwhelming majority of your life. Now, for potentially the first time in your life, you have to make a real choice, one that will seriously impact how you spend the next few years of your life and potentially much of the rest of it.

Choice is a powerful medicine. In careful doses, it can cure many of life's little discontents and troubles, so long as you don't mind the side effects. Too much taken too fast, though, and it's dangerous, potentially lethal. That condition is something known as anomie, and it is a condition notorious for being a complete embuggerance for objective-self-gain-analysis theories of human thought. Basically, it's a state of thought in which you're paralysed not by a lack of choice, but by the sheer scale of choice available. You have so many options it becomes difficult to process them all, and you can often end up so afraid of making a bad choice that instead you don't make any choice. Certainly, you don't seem to have it in any way beyond what every other person gets at this point in their life, but the uncomfortable sense of directionlessness it leaves is at the least relatively easily resolved.

First, and easiest, is to have some kind of goal with your life. An idea of what you want to become, or at the very least what you want out of the various areas of your life. From that, you can work things out between what you like, what you can do, and what you can't stand. All it takes is one reasonably well-founded idea, and from there you can elaborate until you have a plan for most of your working life.

I was lucky, in that I was convinced from about sixteen that a barrister was the career I was most suited to and would be most pleased with. Conventiently, this also managed to set well with my vague desire to have enough money to be able to own nice things. From there, because the law was a profession, I had a relatively small and readily visible set of options of just how to get there. High school subjects were easy. My final results were what I deserved, given I'd more or less doen nothing for six years then tried to do the entirety of secondary education in the last year, but somewhat short of what I wanted. So, instead I went to university anyway with a degree I had some interest in and expected to be reasonably good at, with the expectation of transferring. That never happened, because as I realised if you don't transfer in the first year you're faster to just finish the one degree and use it to get a graduate entry into a law course, so I did that. My next goal is to finish the course with as high a mark as I can possibly sustain, because it is ridiculously competitive. From there I could become a barrister directly, but as local rules require barristers be solo practitioners it'd be completely impractical unless I spent the years to work up a strong relationship with enough solicitors to send work my way. The field of work I wanted as a solicitor was in a kind of social work organisation, which was firstly something i paticularly liked doing, secondly something that would actually make some use of my first degree, and thirdly a reasonable choice if I kept going with my intent to specialise in criminal law. All that came, essentially, from a vague desire to practice law in a courtroom.

Don't be afraid of making a choice. Any choice is better than no choice, and an active choice is better than a tacit choice. You can let life lead you wherever it cares to, but you've no reason to expect that's going to be a place you'd like to go. Instead, take life out the back room and explain to it in polite terms that you'd really rather do this thing and it would most certainly be in the interests of life's continued health not to stop you. A choice that you actually make is a choice you have no need to regret.

No doubt you're also in part worried because no matter what you choose to do, your life is about to change dramatically. That's not at all unusual. People generally hate change, even sometimes for the better. All you can do about that is try to keep as much of you can as made where you were particularly special, make a real choice about where to take your life, and look forward as much as you can to where that choice might take you.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby kgirl1992 on Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:46 pm

Fist of all let me apologize cause this is gonna be long and kinda twisted and I'm gonna be repeating things I said a few pages ago but telling the whole story also I'm gonna go into some details that some of you would probably rather not hear and I'm overly emotional so there is no sense of punctuation.

Back at the beginning of June I meet this awesome guy, well actually thats when we started talking on the phone he lives a couple hours drive away so we didn't meet for a few weeks (our best friends are dating and introduced us). We were instantly really close and started dating a few days later. About a week after that we were on the phone just asking each other random questions and I ask him "If you could go back in your life and change one thing what would you change"? he started crying and then I tried to back track and made a stupid joke about as long as it wasn't kids or terminal (meaning as long as he wasn't dieing or a dad) he could tell me later, which just made things worse and after much crying and fussing from both of us he told me that when he was 14 he touched little kids sexually. I took a few days stressing over that (when I posted before) then I decided top just go with my instincts and trust him. And things were awesome for a few weeks, he came and stayed with my family a couple weekends around this time (and we fooled around (a lot)) I decide to email my DM and ask permission to bring boyfriend along if he ever ends up staying with me on a D&D weekend (our games are normally only 11-18 and BF is 19). My DM didn't read his email for a few weeks, and everything was good with me and BF (I'm trying not to use his name) but I was starting to feel really guilty about keeping something I knew my parents would care about from them. That brings us up to about last week when my DM finally started reading his email again and responded that BF should volunteer and then he could come whenever he wanted, I responded that BF has a criminal record (please don't tell my parents) so they wouldn't want him as a volunteer, DM responded that I should really tell my parents and they might let him volunteer with a record

and that brings us up to today when the shit hit the fan
Today I had D&D, as everybody was leaving I sort of hung back and I told my DM that I am trying to figur out how to tell my parents but its kind of a hard thing to bring up, DM said that a record might not stop him from volunteering and ask what BF did, I sort of stuttered and said I'd rather not say, then me DM ask whether I knew what he does for a living, I said something with troubled teens, and he explained that he works with teens (and I forget how he phrased it) who have been sexually traumatized or who have comited sexual crimes and nothing I could say would shock him, and when he said that I sort of stuttered that thats what BF did but he was 14 and touched kids inappropriately and I really believe he has changed since then.... and we talked about it a little more and he offered to help me figure out how to tell my parents and it seemed great and as I walked away I was all but crying from relief that I had told somebody what BF did and they didn't think I was crazy for being with him. Then when I got home I called BF knowing he would be upset about me bringing it up (he trys to ignore it as much as possible (understandably)) but I didn't think he would be to bad, I even kind of thought he might be happy about some help telling my parents. But he got really upset about me telling my DM and he got even more upset when I said about telling my parents (when he has told other friends parents they have not let him neer there (teenage) kids) he wants me to just pretend it didn't happen, but I feel its a big part of his past and for us to share our future I cant just ignore it, and eventually if we stay together my parents will find out and I think it would be a lot better if I told them.

That feels so much better, I really needed to just tell someone. Thank you for reading i'll go back to lurking now.
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Kum-El wrote: It is a belief among certain portions of the student body at their school (and their fellow half-bloods) that the Zeus brothers are gay, and that the only reason Hermes hasn't come out of the closet is that Aaron's also in there and has a deathgrip on the doorknob.

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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby psycho_BUNNY on Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:45 pm

Okay...
In essence, I've recently realized that I have not only lost faith in the religion of my upbringing, but that I agree with apathetic agnosticism, and self-classify as a secular humanist. I don't know that there's much else to say, except that while I've told my family as much and they accepted it and haven't disowned me, there's still a lot of tension surrounding the issue. I decided to comment on this because it's been a source of recent turmoil and resolution for me, and also because I figured that certain of you who know/share my upbringing should be informed, just so I Anathema! didn't surprise you out of nowhere with my skepticism.

There is a separate, only tangentially related issue, but it's rather private and I'm not sure I feel comfortable discussing it publicly. So, if any of you are able and willing to offer compassionate, reasonable advice... I'd much appreciate your help.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpose)

Postby mandros on Tue Aug 10, 2010 5:41 am

Welcome to the club we have punch and pie. Seriously i got no advice i flat out lie to my family about it. I know its not good idea but its what i do.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby Ajac on Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:48 pm

Oh...kay. Brace for impact, I've got a lot to cover.

Let's start with my family, then come to me.
My mother recently began the process of divorcing my stepfather, and the divorce should be legal any day now. That's not a big problem for me, because 1) he was a drunkard and an imbecile who wouldn't know hard work if it kicked his ass up between his ears, 2) because he hit here and I was more than tempted to round up a lynch mob when I found out and was prevented solely by inability to cross 260 mile distances without an automobile, and 3) because my mother traditionally has HORRIBLE taste in the male half of the species, and this was her fourth marriage and third husband (she married the second husband twice; I'm not complaining, I got a younger brother from the second go around). I'm a bit immune at this point.
Unfortunately, my little brother's father has decided, not altogether unreasonably, that my brother needs a more stable home life, and has filed to remove him from my mother's custody because she no longer has a home. The reason she no longer has a home? Even though both she and her new ex are on the deed as owners, and my grandmother was the one who payed for the place(while putting me through college, no less), it was my mother who actually left the house. She and her new beau (the woman rebounds like a basketball, but this one's a workaholic and a mild health nut, so maybe we'll see some improvement) live in what amounts to a flophouse. Their current plan is to either buy a cheap apartment or get an RV and pull it out to my grandmother's sixty-acres. (What? My mother and grandmother in the same house? Obama'd be declaring a state of emergency inside of a week.)

And it's with this as a backdrop that I'm in my third year at University, a few hours short of where I need to be, credit-wise, and at risk of loosing my scholarship. Not a large risk, mind, because I've finally realized that a degree in Management is not what I want, because it's too focused on quantitative aspects, rather than influencing aspects which were my focus. But, still.
On top of all this, I'm 20 years old and not only have I never had sex(which is only mildly disappointing), I've never had a real girlfriend (which is genuinely upsetting to me) or been kissed (which is downright depressing). I can never find a girl(or a guy, because yes, I've considered, and found the idea lacking) who I both have enough in common with and I find physically attractive. And yeah, yeah, I know, body isn't everything, and that's true. But nor is it wrong for me to consider the physical component of a relationship to be important.

So, yeah. That's where I've been lately.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby mandros on Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:56 pm

*hugs*

Well that sounds like a dump truck full of suck. Unfortunately on your last point I'm on the same page except im 21.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby kgirl1992 on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:59 pm

*hugs* I'm now trying to get over my first boyfriend (and first almost everything else)
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Kum-El wrote: It is a belief among certain portions of the student body at their school (and their fellow half-bloods) that the Zeus brothers are gay, and that the only reason Hermes hasn't come out of the closet is that Aaron's also in there and has a deathgrip on the doorknob.

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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby SleepyOrigami on Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:28 pm

How can anyone ever like me when I don't even like myself? Others have told me that I'm a good person, a gentle soul, but I can't see what they see. Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is a lifetime of mistakes and regret. And whenever I think of the future, I know only one thing. Always and forever. I am alone.

But perhaps it is because of my suffering that my wish burns so strongly. No one deserves to know the depths of despair. I wouldn't wish it upon even the worst people humanity has to offer. So please, all you who suffer, all who are in pain, even though I am weak I beg you, please let me help in whatever way I can great or small if only to keep the spark of hope alive. Never be alone as I am.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby mandros on Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:14 pm

SleepyOrigami wrote:How can anyone ever like me when I don't even like myself? Others have told me that I'm a good person, a gentle soul, but I can't see what they see. Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is a lifetime of mistakes and regret. And whenever I think of the future, I know only one thing. Always and forever. I am alone.


did it just get realy dark in here or is it just you sleepy. You have proven to have a good personality but i think i know why you dont see it. its cause you know the "truth" you know all your flaws and things you dont like about your self, to you they stick out like a black stain on a clean white sheet. however...

SleepyOrigami wrote:But perhaps it is because of my suffering that my wish burns so strongly. No one deserves to know the depths of despair. I wouldn't wish it upon even the worst people humanity has to offer. So please, all you who suffer, all who are in pain, even though I am weak I beg you, please let me help in whatever way I can great or small if only to keep the spark of hope alive. Never be alone as I am.


The fact that you want to help is proof that you can be helped.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby BinaryWraith on Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:27 pm

SleepyOrigami wrote:How can anyone ever like me when I don't even like myself? Others have told me that I'm a good person, a gentle soul, but I can't see what they see. Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is a lifetime of mistakes and regret. And whenever I think of the future, I know only one thing. Always and forever. I am alone.

But perhaps it is because of my suffering that my wish burns so strongly. No one deserves to know the depths of despair. I wouldn't wish it upon even the worst people humanity has to offer. So please, all you who suffer, all who are in pain, even though I am weak I beg you, please let me help in whatever way I can great or small if only to keep the spark of hope alive. Never be alone as I am.



Right there with ya, kid. Depression's a son of a bitch, especially when you know those little doubts in the back of your head are right to tear you down. I wouldn't wish it on my own worst enemy. Or maybe I would, I keep seeing the guy in the mirror.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby Dreaju on Tue Dec 07, 2010 5:56 pm

SleepyOrigami wrote:How can anyone ever like me when I don't even like myself? Others have told me that I'm a good person, a gentle soul, but I can't see what they see. Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is a lifetime of mistakes and regret. And whenever I think of the future, I know only one thing. Always and forever. I am alone.

But perhaps it is because of my suffering that my wish burns so strongly. No one deserves to know the depths of despair. I wouldn't wish it upon even the worst people humanity has to offer. So please, all you who suffer, all who are in pain, even though I am weak I beg you, please let me help in whatever way I can great or small if only to keep the spark of hope alive. Never be alone as I am.



Sleepy... *big hug* Don't ever think that you're alone. You have friends here in Mayhem, with me being one of them. *not very good with words...*
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby OzLionHeart on Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:44 am

I think you got the idea across just fine.

*hugs Sleepy* What Dreaju said. You are not alone.

Depression is indeed a nasty thing. Do talk to someone professional if it persists, especially if it gets worse.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby Cheez on Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:38 pm

SleepyOrigami wrote:Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is a lifetime of mistakes and regret.


All of your mistakes, all your regrets, Yes. they are there. Evidently though, you're not seeing it all. Yes, there are mistakes, muck-ups and all kinds of bad in your past, just like everyone else. Regret them if you like, that's up to you. But they make you who you are- after all, man is the sum of his experiences. If everyone's always saying you're good, kind, etc, then this shows that the bad in your past has tempered you, not broken you. You've experienced the bad, seen it for what it is and used these experiences to improve yourself, where many would become twisted and embittered. So yes, you are a nice, good person. Also strong, and damn admirable.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby psycho_BUNNY on Sun Dec 19, 2010 10:21 am

My girlfriend just broke up with me, via email:


"I have been fighting myself for the past few days from writing this letter because logically, I know that you're the perfect guy for me. However, I am not strong enough to handle the distance anymore, I was seriously hoping that you would [be able to move out here for school], just like back in August. I love you very much, you light up my life and I really enjoy talking with you but I can't hold on anymore, it's very difficult to handle the loneliness, the separation, the longing.

You didn't do anything wrong and I don't blame you. But I need to do this because I do need a boyfriend who can be here for me, who can hold me when I am down, who can do all of the things with me that we can't do together. I will most definitely miss you but I cannot go on anymore.

All my love,
(psycho_bunny's girlfriend)"

I can't see this as anything other than a rejection, especially after everything I shared with her; if I really were worthwhile, then she wouldn't leave me. She'd said I was worth the wait, but... I suppose she changed her mind. Additionally, her valediction not only rings false, but makes me think love as a whole may just be an illusion.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby kgirl1992 on Sun Dec 19, 2010 12:38 pm

*Hugs Psycho bunny* I'm sorry, but long distance relationships are tough.You start dating cause your bored, or want someone to lean on or whatever, than you get closer and start to lean on each other to get through life, and then one of you moves and you try to stay together and support each other over the phone but its not the same, and much as we try to help here when your falling apart sometimes the ONLY thing that can make you feel better is an actual hug and... AND I'm ranting sorry, break ups suck no matter what but she shouldn't have done it over e-mail, you also shouldn't break up with someone in the middle of the week they are spending at your house when you know they hate being at there house and make them decide between going home to mop around and have to deal with annoying family, or staying with you and trying to pretend everything is fine BUT that's getting back into me bitching so I'm gonna go now.
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Kum-El wrote: It is a belief among certain portions of the student body at their school (and their fellow half-bloods) that the Zeus brothers are gay, and that the only reason Hermes hasn't come out of the closet is that Aaron's also in there and has a deathgrip on the doorknob.

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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby psycho_BUNNY on Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:22 am

Thanks, kgirl. *hugs* I guess I knew it was tough going in, but we'd made such hopes, plans, and promises... I felt sure that things would work out for us. My not being able to attend school where she is due to finances and the cost of out-of-state tuition was a setback, but... it didn't seem insurmountable, especially seeing as how we were planning to see one another IRL again pretty soon.

I guess at first I was in shock, because I thought I could override my feelings of anguish and heartbreak, via cognition and willpower. However, that is clearly not the case. I... can't stand to talk to or even see her online right now; I've basically blocked her out completely, with the exception of email. (AIM is theoretically open, but I'm considering blocking her on there as well.) It's... unwelcome reminders of her are just that: unwelcome.
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby SleepyOrigami on Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:01 am

Negative reactions and even rejections are not always what we perceive them to be. Sometimes they are just a stones throw away from pulling a compelete reverse. Love goes through cycles. There's an infatuation phase where everything seems awesome. There's a middle phase where there's love, but its not infatuation. Then there is the questioning phase where we decide to renew or cancel. This is a perpetual cycle that even long standing relationships of many years go through. It seems she reached the questioning phase and, upon reviewing the relationship under its current circumstances, chose unfavorably for you this time. That's not to say that if you keep the relationship alive despite this that it won't continue through the cycles anyways. As long as it stands the questioning phase will repeat itself again and again. If in the future your circumstances change and you've maintained the relationship unto that point, then it is possible that the answer to the questioning phase could turn favorable.

My point is that refusing to communicate is like burning bridges. As long as the bridge exists it might open for traffic again, but burn it and its gone forever. Not that theres anything wrong with burning bridges. I've done that a lot. Now I'm more like an island than a person who isn't lonely. Feel free to join the island club, we have snacks (the irony is that the total isolation prevents the sharing of said snacks).
Those aren't children; they're packets of cream cheese. -SGC2C
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby psycho_BUNNY on Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:49 am

Thanks Sleepy. That does help put it in a different light. I suppose I don't really intend on burning any bridges, per se. But my actions may have that effect, whether I wish them to or not. So far, I've sent her the information to use a gift card she sent me for the holidays, since (as I told her) I haven't used it yet and I'm not going to now, and I've blocked her on both Facebook and AIM. I've deleted all the pictures I had of her, but haven't quite been able to bring myself to delete the emails she sent me; I don't know that I'll be able to.

Anyhow, I do intend on reestablishing contact with her, but if I do so right now, what I have to say to her will be... unflattering, to say the least. I just can't stand to talk with her right now. I'd end up being brusque and inarticulate and ending the conversation as soon as possible; that or go on a tirade since I feel hurt and think I have the moral high-ground.

Also, this song (and the visuals edited in) are something I really identify with right now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxbOzxo1nOs
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Re: The Hug Hospital (note: this thread has an actual purpos

Postby SleepyOrigami on Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:17 pm

psycho_BUNNY wrote:Anyhow, I do intend on reestablishing contact with her, but if I do so right now, what I have to say to her will be... unflattering, to say the least. I just can't stand to talk with her right now. I'd end up being brusque and inarticulate and ending the conversation as soon as possible; that or go on a tirade since I feel hurt and think I have the moral high-ground.

At least ... it would be honest. Then again most people prefer white lies to brutal honesty. Lying by omission is a way of showing others you care about their feelings that I can respect.

EDIT: I apologize, I'm being unnecessarily abrasive and probably giving bad advice. I'm just not in so good a mood.
Those aren't children; they're packets of cream cheese. -SGC2C
"I steal things. <.< >.>"~TingYi, Sept 17, 2010
I stole my current avatar from: here
here
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