Welcome to the Cleansweep Helpline. To assist our skilled technicians in assisting you,please select an option from the following menu:
For problems relating to flight capabilities, press 1.
If you have damaged your broom and would like a list of approved repair-witches in your area, press 2.
For questions regarding your broom's usefulness as a household cleaning device, press 3.
If there's actually nothing wrong with your broom, and you are just lonely and would like to talk to a "living" technician, press 5 or stay on the line and an unholy zombie will hunt you down and eat your brain since you obviously weren't planning on using it, today.
The savior of billions (Norman Borlaug) dying barely rated a mention in the news this year. Farrah Fawcett wore a bikini well back in the 70s and she got international coverage. Good job, society.
--Lisa Skye Ioannidis