Aerie's most recent-as-of-this-post commentary (the really, really long one) touches on my own reaction to this part of the story arc.
There was never any suspicion of homophobia on Aerie's part, or Kestral's part, or whatever. But frankly, I felt (and still feel) that Our Heroine is being unfair to Angela. Genuine romantic (as opposed to merely physical) attraction to someone does not disappear as soon as the object of that attraction declines, unless they do so in a fashion so callous as to cause the emotional chemistry itself to shift.
In short, "Let's just be friends," is ALWAYS a lie (or, more accurately, a fiction) at that stage. Not in terms of being a state that the one wishing for more will try to work towards, accept and be happy with, but in terms of NOT being something that instantly happens. And if the person remains a close friend, one whom you see frequently, and share many of the same tastes with, and so on, it becomes that much harder to achieve the just friends mentality.
In some ways, it's easier to move into the friend mindset after an actual relationship, than it is to do so after the destruction of a 'potential' one, precisely because the unrealized relationship is virtually always a tad idealized. It was always a little easier to move on after a friend-who-I-dated decided that it wasn't working, than it was to deal with the friend-who-said-no-but-still-wanted-friendship.
However, if you actually want to maintain the friendship, then you bite the bullet, and deal with the issue of some small piece of you wanting things to happen differently. And yes, there's this evil little voice that tells you, every once in awhile, that that thing you did (or are about to do) is going to be the thing that actually changes their mind.
(Diversionary analogy: Most Pauline branches of Christianity [ie, just about all the mainstream ones] reject the notion of 'karma'--ie, the idea that you can somehow undo your sins via good deeds. Forgiveness only happens through repentence and faith. Good deeds are supposed to be done because they're the right thing to do, not because it achieves a balance in some spiritual ledger. But most Christians, if you catch them when they're being honest, will admit to periodically thinking to themselves, "Ah, I helped that old woman across the street. Now I don't have to feel so bad about cheating on my taxes." It may not be according to Hoyle, but it's simply a part of human nature.)
Now, I'm not saying the above is true for absolutely every human being on the Earth. But it IS a fairly common and typical reaction. And for Kestral to be so firmly unwilling to accept that Angela feels that way is unrealistic and frankly, fairly heartless. Would she have rather had Angela telling her every day, "By the way, I still am in love with you, but I know it's not going to happen"? Even on those points that Angela did something with pre-meditated gamesmanship in mind, she still accepted that no, it didn't happen that way, but at least Kestral's happy with the result, so that's a good thing.