Kiddie Bacon

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Kiddie Bacon

Postby Freemage on Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:33 pm

Our Hostess wrote:My favorite out of all of this was a picture of Big Bird, merrily waving his hands, and a word balloon exclaiming 'Children taste like bacon!'. After posting this proudly on my cubicle wall, I was told the next day that I would have to move it to the file cabinet under my desk so as not to 'offend people'. ...oddly enough, the picture of Bob Costas with a stolen word balloon that stated 'I find myself oddly aroused' was allowed to remain on the cubicle wall. Go figure.


This is explained by coming to understand the Cult of the Child. This maniacal sect demands that children--all children, everywhere--be made the center of devotion by everyone, including complete strangers. Anything which might potentially insult, harm or distress a child is taboo. Naturally, as parents are the source of children, parents are placed in the role of prophets, to be regarded as holy and wise, and their opinions are to be treated as gospel, because they are uttered 'For the Good of the Children'. Naturally, Parents themselves are never to be accused of neglecting their sacred brats.

Heretics--ie, those who have not yet spawned, for whatever reason--are viewed with a mixture of pity and horror, regardless of our personal feelings about said act of spawning. It is assumed as a matter of faith that we would be honored to spend our time providing the Holy C with the care that the Parent is too tired or busy to give.

The Cult of the Child crosses all ideological and political lines; conservatives and liberals, devout Christians and hard-core atheists alike all seem to be willing to demand that the rest of the world be subborned to the Cult's will. Any restriction on personal liberty or expression can be made palatable by invoking the Good of the Children, and no one dare say otherwise.

:P
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Postby Casual Notice on Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:45 pm

Oddly, you can have a child without joining the Cult. This is not to say that the Cult doesn't exist, because it does, and if you think the rugmonkey-free set are annoyed by them, try being a parent and having a friend (and cloest Cult-Member) turn off your radio because she thought the song "Bitch" was inappropriate for your 14-year-old daughter.
The savior of billions (Norman Borlaug) dying barely rated a mention in the news this year. Farrah Fawcett wore a bikini well back in the 70s and she got international coverage. Good job, society.
--Lisa Skye Ioannidis
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Postby bloodeye on Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:21 am

Friends in Big Places, I think the comic is called, basically has a country based on that idea.... seprate cab's, stadium seating, and bus lines for breeders and non-breeders....
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