o/~ 'Cause breakin' up is hard to do.... o/~

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o/~ 'Cause breakin' up is hard to do.... o/~

Postby Freemage on Tue Jun 14, 2005 2:49 pm

Okay, before I begin, I want to be clear. The following post should, in no way, shape or form be viewed as cutting cheaters any slack. This post concerns itself ONLY with the 'breakup' comic up today, the 14th, not any of the strips leading up to it, in which Felix is shown to be Grade-A Jerk. Now, on with the opinionated rant:

Felix's brutal break-up technique ["Get out. The door is behind you. You were a good fuck."], while obviously painful and even cruel, is, in some ways, one of the best ways to end a relationship, particularly one where the other person is clearly reluctant [as Kestral obviously is] to do so. Simple fact: the sooner ties are cut, the sooner both parties can get on with their lives. No, it doesn't feel like a kindness at the time. But can you imagine how the story might have been different if he ~hadn't~ been so savage?

Look at Kestral's words: "Can't we talk about this?" That means one thing: Even though she just walked in on him a few minutes ago screwing a good friend of hers, she still wants the relationship to continue. Suppose that, instead, Felix had given in, and agreed to talk things through. After awhile, he might even have agreed to continue in their relationship, might even have declared that they were 'dating'. And then, within six months, tops, he would've been banging the next available girl.

Just imagine how painful ~that~ would've been. One betrayal stings; the second, though, is going to make you doubt yourself on a much deeper level. It might even lead to getting used to it.

Why? Because people don't change as the result of a single conversation. They do change over time, but you're far better off trying to start fresh with someone new than waiting around for the current, unsuitable guy to become something he just isn't.

So yeah--Felix was a bastard. But sometimes, you have to be.
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Postby Ambystoma4 on Tue Jun 14, 2005 2:59 pm

The short and simple method is the best.

I've tried the "we'll still be friends" route before, and she just never understood that I was going to date other girls after her. Kill it, tie a brick to it, toss it off the bridge and let it sink beneath the water.
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Postby Dedigan on Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:48 pm

Well, that depends on the situation as well. Sometimes you find you make better friends than lovers.

But the first poster is right. If you're going to end it, end it. Don't mess about with it, it only causes more pain.
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Postby Casual Notice on Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:36 am

First off, he wasn't "caught" doing anything (other than violating his promise to spend the day with Kestrel). Exclusivity is not, nor should it be, an assumed situation for dating, unless both people agree out loud and expressly that they want to be exclusive.

That being said, there's the clean way tobreak up, and the shitty way. Felix chose the shitty way. There are better ways to say "We wanted different things from each other" than what he said. A parting shot like that only ever serves the purpose of making someone feel bad about themselves, and tainting the entire relationship with a sour taste.
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Postby Ambystoma4 on Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:40 am

Parting shots are fun when you're the one being broken up with. Especially mean ones.


Dedigan wrote:Well, that depends on the situation as well. Sometimes you find you make better friends than lovers.


I don't date friends, and I've had friendships afterwards with girls that I've had more casual relationships with. Read casual relationship as we were physically attracted to one another and that was about it.

If I was actually emotionally attached to them, then it's a much messier in the end.
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Postby bloodeye on Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:40 am

I do agree that a quick clean break is better than a messy one. However, even with a quick cold break, there's way better ways than what Felix pulled.
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Postby Freemage on Wed Jun 15, 2005 7:13 pm

Casual Notice wrote:First off, he wasn't "caught" doing anything (other than violating his promise to spend the day with Kestrel). Exclusivity is not, nor should it be, an assumed situation for dating, unless both people agree out loud and expressly that they want to be exclusive.


In the era before AIDS, I might have agreed with you, CN. Not today. Sorry, but given the fact that sex is now potentially lethal [as opposed to simply having potential unpleasant consequences], it is a gross error to 'assume' that the other person is aware you're sleeping around. If both people are okay with it, that's fine. But otherwise, no--you're taking chances with someone else's life, you damn well should be the one bringing the topic up.

Would Kestral have been better off being up-front about her expectations of exclusivity? Yes. But frankly, the fact that I have NOT said I don't like games of Russian Roullette does not give my partner the right to sneak up on me with a revolver loaded with only one bullet and pull the trigger.
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