QoW Update - comic for 1/17

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QoW Update - comic for 1/17

Postby Aeire on Sun Jan 16, 2005 9:11 pm

Is now up
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Postby Chiskiz on Sun Jan 16, 2005 9:20 pm

And thats the last time will see Angela..........
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Postby Brie on Sun Jan 16, 2005 9:32 pm

I don't think so. I think she'll be back. I'm just baffled as to what capacity.

*shrug*

I'm disappointed with Kestrel's reaction, and it seems to me that she's being slightly selfish...but that's my point of view, and the fact that it's making me feel ANYTHING at all proves that Aeire is a genius.
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Postby ZotKitty on Sun Jan 16, 2005 11:10 pm

I concur ... wow. Congratulations, Aeire, on creating such an intense emotional pitch in only four panels and (probably) less than 400 words (I didn't count).

I wonder ... if the friend making this confession had been male, would Kestrel be reacting this way?

No, I don't think selfish is quite the word for Kestrel's reaction here ... I think she does have some issues with homophobia (or perhaps biphobia) and rather than work through those issues, she's choosing to turn her back on a good friend. And this is, of course, her choice to make. I only hope she doesn't regret it soon...

Please, Aeire, no tragic cliffhangers in which Kestrel is forced to confront the error of her ways!

It suddenly makes a lot more sense why Angela was so much more upset about Kestrel's move than either Shannon or Felix, who have known Kestrel longer and are closer friends of hers.
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Postby Ambystoma4 on Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:44 am

ZotKitty wrote:I wonder ... if the friend making this confession had been male, would Kestrel be reacting this way?


I want to say yes under the same circumstances. I can sympatize with Kestrel on being wierded out [Edit: Mind wandered due to something I was listening to.] by having someone of the same sex attracted to you.

We can find out. I'm willing to sacrifice myself for science. :D Let's see who I can call... :-? I really need to get more girls numbers in my phone.
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Postby NaharaVensar on Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:22 am

I don't really see her reaction quite the way you guys are seeing it.

I see it more like she feels like Angela has been playing her this whole time. Its like finding out someone who you thought was your best friend, so great and caring all the time and was nearly perfect in your mind, wasn't. They were just trying to get in your pants, or whatever.

That's just distrubing, I don't think its that bad, but the thought is still there. And if I had thought I could trust someone and turns out they had other motives, I might be disappointed and angry about it. Regardless if they were male or female.
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Postby Flameoftheabyss on Mon Jan 17, 2005 2:15 am

Actually, I think Angela is indeed a good friend of Kestrel's. I believe Kestrel was being rather unfair and judgemental of the reasons that Angela became friends with her.
Angela might not have been completely honest with Kestrel, because she knew Kestrel would not take it well. She doesn't want to be disappointed, and she doesn't want Kestrel to be offended. Sometimes being honest all the time causes you to lose your friends.

So .. I think Angela is Kestrel's friend because she likes her as a friend, but at the same time, she does have some feelings for her, which has nothing to do with their friendship.
I don't think Angela's just being friends to get into Kestrel's pants.

Aaaah Kestrel, you ruined it! :x
I hope Angela doesn't try to kill herself.
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Postby Nayl on Mon Jan 17, 2005 3:37 am

Two words occur to me about how Kestrel is treating Angela at this point - silly and thoughtless. So you find out your friend, who has just been dumped, still loves you in a way that you can't reciprocate. Do you comfort the friend and discuss how she feels? Or do you confront her and play Spanish Inquisition because she has feelings for you that aren't "right?"

Angela is guilty of nothing other than being Kestrel's friend. She has feelings for Kestrel, but in no way has she harmed or taken advantage of Kestrel because of those feelings. Those feelings are ultimately Angela's to deal with, its her burden, not some dirty little secret. Kestrel apparently thought that after she told Angela she wasn't interested the first time, that Angela just turned it off and never thought about her that way again. So naive.

I am really interested to see where this goes, especially since this is the first time I've found myself not sympathizing with the main character.
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Welcome

Postby HiFranc on Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:48 am

Welcome to QoW and its forum, Nayl.

It's because of reactions like Kestral's that I find it very hard to ask anyone I know out.
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Postby NaharaVensar on Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:56 am

I'm not saying that I agree with Kestrel. I think Angela is a good friend. But trying to see it from her side. It so easy to say one way or another from a outsider's persceptive whether something is stupid, thoughtful, kind or cruel. And that's all I meant to say.
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Postby HiFranc on Mon Jan 17, 2005 5:04 am

I can see both sides of the arguement.
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Postby Nayl on Mon Jan 17, 2005 5:49 am

Thanks for the welcome Francisco. I stumbled across QoW just about a month ago, and quickly became a fan.

Thing I'm wondering at this point is just why Kestrel is reacting this way. I don't really buy her stated reasons. I'm guessing her impending move and the feelings of loss that go with it are making her a bit less than rational where her friends are concerned.
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One explanation

Postby HiFranc on Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:39 am

I think this applies mainly to women, in my experience, but I may be wrong. When it comes to friendship, then if the woman you're friends with sees you as nothing more than a friend (and that's been made clear) then just thinking about it being more is enough to be a betrayal.
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Postby Guairdean on Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:44 am

I don't think Kestrel is being motivated by a phobia. She knows what will happen if she continues to hang around Angela. The voice in Angela's head will grow stronger, Angela will become bitter, and their friendship will degenerate into, at best, something strained and painful. Sometimes, the best way to keep a friend is to walk away. I, too, agree that Aeire has mastered the arts of storytelling in both words and pictures.
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Postby GrassyNoel on Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:02 am

Yes, I think that today's strip is quite a milestone in the story.
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Postby Calisto on Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:53 am

NaharaVensar wrote:I don't really see her reaction quite the way you guys are seeing it.

I see it more like she feels like Angela has been playing her this whole time. Its like finding out someone who you thought was your best friend, so great and caring all the time and was nearly perfect in your mind, wasn't. They were just trying to get in your pants, or whatever.

That's just distrubing, I don't think its that bad, but the thought is still there. And if I had thought I could trust someone and turns out they had other motives, I might be disappointed and angry about it. Regardless if they were male or female.
I'm agreed with this. It's more about the feeling of betrayal from someone you considered a very close friend to find out she had an ulterior motive. Could have been about something else besides Angela wanting to be with Kestrel, the turn out would probably have been the same.
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Postby Crysania on Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:01 am

NaharaVensar wrote:I see it more like she feels like Angela has been playing her this whole time. Its like finding out someone who you thought was your best friend, so great and caring all the time and was nearly perfect in your mind, wasn't. They were just trying to get in your pants, or whatever.


I see this, too. I'm sure Kestrel is already weirded out by having someone of the same gender confess her feelings, but aside from that, she also fears that their friendship has been a lie. Angela has been there for her as a friend, and has even given her relationship advice! Kestrel now suspects that she had ulterior motives all along.

Wow. Great strip, Aeire.

Edit: Lol, just noticed the response above me. That's what I get for typing slowly!
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Postby Nayl on Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:12 am

Maybe its a question of perspective, or attitude, or experience. Or possibly philosophy. But in my book, having sexual feelings for someone you can't have, who is also a good friend does not make you some sort of conniving stalker. It just makes you someone who has an issue to deal with. Now, if you take certain actions in connection with those feelings, that can make you a creep. But feelings in and of themselves just aren't bad.

And yes, I've been on both sides of this equation, and I'm still good friends with the people involved. Because, if you really love people, you get past all this junk and build friendships that last.
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Postby Ziah on Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:18 am

I agree with the poster who said things might just degenerate over time if they stayed friends. I don't think Angela can help her feelings, and I feel so bad for her. At the same time, I can see how this new information calls into question all of their conversations since they've been friends. I don't think Kestrel can help her suspicion, either. I think it's a pretty crappy situation all together for everyone involved, and I don't envy them. I don't see Kestrel as a homophobe. She seems pretty "normal" to me - not overly comfortable with the idea of an added vagina in her OWN life, but ok with the notion of other people being attracted to their own gender. A good chunk of the people I know are like that.
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Postby Chronodin on Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:19 am

Hey all, been reading QoW for a while but this is my first journey into the forums.

I suppose what's been bugging me about this story arc is Angela's situation. She's tried talking to people about it, and every person she talks to gets mad at her or turns their back on her in some way, including Kestrel. She keeps being accused of being selfish, but I really don't see that at all. She needs somebody, anybody, just as a friend, but if I were her, I'd be feeling really alone right now.

I can understand what someone said about Kestrel not wanting the feelings to become stronger for fear of a harsher confrontation later on, but if you ask me, true friends are willing to work through anything. Angela didn't say that Kestrel had to return the feelings for their friendship to continue; in fact, she was battling those feelings. Yes, she had hope, but that doesn't mean that was the only reason she was still friends with Kestrel. She explained that it wasn't that way. But Kestrel, in return, is running from the problem. True friends could work around that. And sure enough, I'm sure that we haven't heard the end of this situation or of Angela, but I, too, was still disappointed in Kestrel's reaction, especially considering how confident she sounded that her response was the correct one.
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Postby rukh03 on Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:35 am

First up, beautiful writing Aeire! :o :D

I can see both sides here, but I think how it went down was pretty realistic, and I think they both are handling quite well considering. I don't think they need to lose their friendship, but they definitely need space, and time to heal. Angela betrayed Kestral's trust. That will take alot of time and effort to rebuild.

I feel bad for Angela, she's pretty much screwed whatever she did. (unrequited love is the worst) but maybe if she had been more honest/open earlier on, they might have had more time to deal with it and have a stronger friendship when Kestral leaves.
But maybe, had she said something, the friendship would have ended that much sooner. It's a tough call.
To love someone is to be vulnerable to them and not control how they act or what they do.

I personnally think that open/honest is the better route. Not that I always live that way, but in the end when I do, I feel more free.

Whew, that went on forever. :lol: (pant/out of breath)
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Welcome

Postby HiFranc on Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:57 am

Welcome to the forums (and to QoW), Chronodin.

On what's happening: I can see both sides of the arguement and it's a difficult one to call.
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Postby Calisto on Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:06 am

Nayl wrote:But in my book, having sexual feelings for someone you can't have, who is also a good friend does not make you some sort of conniving stalker.
No it doesn't but it does make the other person feel, if they hadn't known of it before, betrayed by someone they trusted. Now, it could be argued that Kestrel already knew, but Angela did say she didn't have a problem with it and they could be friends. Kestrel trusted that only now to find out that Angela wasn't totally honest. Everything Angela ever said to Kestrel, especially the really personal stuff, is going to be questioned by Kestrel now as being not real advice from a friend. Then again, when Kestrel has a chance to think things over a bit and get over the hurt, who knows what can happen
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Postby ZotKitty on Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:25 am

I don't understand why people are saying Angela betrayed Kestrel. I think Angela truly has wanted to be her friend, and she can't help the attraction as well. Kestrel has known since the kiss that Angela harbored feelings for her; in my book, if she didn't jump up and run out of the apartment THAT day so long ago, why is this so much harder to deal with?

By the way, I don't think Kestrel is a homophobe, per se, but I do think that there's another level of truly not being a homophobe, which is the ability to gracefully and sensitively deal with a friend of the same sex having feelings for you ... which Kestrel obviously hasn't managed.

I've had friendships with men (I'm a woman) in which one of us has confessed feelings for the other. Every time, the other person has been able to say, "I'm flattered, but I can't return your feelings and I hope we can still be friends." And then we have been. Maybe that makes me the super-friend, able to leap tall obstacles of discomfort in a single bound, but I don't think it's all that unique.
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Postby rukh03 on Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:08 pm

ZotKitty wrote:I don't understand why people are saying Angela betrayed Kestrel.

"I'm flattered, but I can't return your feelings and I hope we can still be friends."


I think this is the root of it:
They had that talk. They said those things. But Angela couldn't, she couldn't let go of her feelings for Kestrel. The thing is though, she let Kestrel think that she had, that everything she did and said was motivated purely by platonic friendship when it wasn't.
That is where I can understand Kestrel's feelings of.. maybe betrayal isn't the right word, but it's the closest one I can think of right now.

It's a though situation all 'round, I hope that they can work through it though. It by no means has to ruin their friendship.
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