Koala Or Racoon?

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Which is better?

Koala
4
31%
Racoon
4
31%
Neither
5
38%
 
Total votes : 13

Koala Or Racoon?

Postby Fishfu on Sat Aug 14, 2004 6:37 pm

This is to end an argument on the topic "noses". Here is the link, http://forums.keenspot.com/viewtopic.php?t=66845.

Which is better, Koalas or Racoons?

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Postby Brady Kj on Sun Aug 15, 2004 8:56 pm

The question of what animal is the best has plagged our planet's (Earth's) philosophers, scientists, sorcerors, alchemists, and politicians for eons. For centuries mankind has generally assumed it to be either of two options: raccoons, or koalas. However, I would like to propose a novel concept: that the best animal may be a different creature entirely. I have a hypothesis that it is the pandas, for two reasons: 1.) Everyone trusts a panda, and 2.) they're friggin' huge.

I assume the discussion is still about which is the best fighting animal in large armies, as it had been in the Noses thread. Otherwise, I'd have to say that the best all-around animal is probably the Newfy dog. I do not recall this animal's actual name, something along the lines of Newfoundland husky. However, if there is a raccoon who doesn't get caught in traps so easily, I would say that he or she is the best all-around animal.
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Postby Angry_Zucchini on Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:48 am

Brady Kj wrote:The question of what animal is the best has plagged our planet's (Earth's) philosophers, scientists, sorcerors, alchemists, and politicians for eons. For centuries mankind has generally assumed it to be either of two options: raccoons, or koalas. However, I would like to propose a novel concept: that the best animal may be a different creature entirely. I have a hypothesis that it is the pandas, for two reasons: 1.) Everyone trusts a panda, and 2.) they're friggin' huge.

I assume the discussion is still about which is the best fighting animal in large armies, as it had been in the Noses thread. Otherwise, I'd have to say that the best all-around animal is probably the Newfy dog. I do not recall this animal's actual name, something along the lines of Newfoundland husky. However, if there is a raccoon who doesn't get caught in traps so easily, I would say that he or she is the best all-around animal.


Its finally clear what the problem is here.. Your mother drank large amounts of rubbing alcohol while pregnant with you. Well, at least I hope she did, as it might offer some insight into that retarded post of yours.

As for you fishfu: thanks for keeping that dead-thread alive ma' man. Three cheers!
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Postby Wicca on Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:45 am

Newfy dogs are big and cuddly. They're actually just called Newfoudland and are not at all related to huskies. They were used to help fishermen and rescue them when they were piss drunk off Alexander Keith's.

Zucchin, first I'd like to commend you for your joke's breathtaking originality (mom jokes are always so much fun). On a side note, I do wish your parents had practiced better birth control. No one would have complained.
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Postby Brady Kj on Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:54 am

It's fun to look at this poll, because I can get a good idea of who voted for what.

The two votes after I voted last night most likely were Wicca: Raccoon, and Zucchini: Neither. Thereby breaking the 2 to 2 to 2 tie.
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Postby EventSpire on Mon Aug 16, 2004 3:51 pm

I am afraid to say that Godzilla beats them all.
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Postby Brady Kj on Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:33 pm

True, but godzillas are in short supply, they're hard to manage, and an army of them is extremely expensive to house and feed. You must think realistically. Plus, whenever anyone sees a godzilla, they know to run away and call the army. We need an animal that can be used in a sneak attack, and that would be allowed across international borders without raising suspicion. If an army of godzillas is heading toward a specific area, the local authorities are sure to look into who's responsible.
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Postby EventSpire on Mon Aug 16, 2004 9:57 pm

Only the Japanese run. Everyone else would be confused and stunned.
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Postby Angry_Zucchini on Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:31 am

Wicca wrote:Zucchin, first I'd like to commend you for your joke's breathtaking originality (mom jokes are always so much fun). On a side note, I do wish your parents had practiced better birth control. No one would have complained.


Remember, you live in Nova Scotia, your opinion doesn't matter. Seriously, just ask Paul Martin. Besides, they were practicing. Not their fault the condom broke.
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Postby The Hedgehog on Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:10 am

Obviously the hedgehog is the most awesome of all animals. If you disagree, it's because you are the devil and eat small children for breakfast.

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EDIT: it also means you're fat.
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Postby Psyonide on Tue Aug 17, 2004 2:47 am

See that just makes me think about Wacky Wheels, and how much of an awesome game it was.


That's It, I'm going to find myself a copy of Wacky Wheels.
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Postby Wicca on Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:30 am

Angry_Zucchini wrote:Remember, you live in Nova Scotia, your opinion doesn't matter. Seriously, just ask Paul Martin.


How is Paul Martin relevant to this conversation? How would his opinion of my opinion matter?
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Postby EventSpire on Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:14 am

Canadian Politics Rocks!
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Postby Brady Kj on Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:24 pm

You watch CBC too, eh, Spire?

Anyway, my brother recently pointed out another point in favor of pandas: they, like all Asian creatures, know karate. Heck, I bet a panda can even beat up Mighty Joe Young. Right now, I'm thinking that the only things that can beat up a panda are 1.) an Asian tiger that knows karate, 2.) a godzilla, and 3.) a black hole. I personally plan on having the godzilla who is best at karate as my personal bodyguard, and wearing a device on my belt that produces a black hole to deal with him or her if he ever decides to mutiny against me. And, for my private army of assassins, I'll use pandas because no one suspects a cute panda.

[edit] It occured to me that a panda (which is the maximum possible combination of brute force, martial arts, and cuteness) can also be defeated by an asteroid and an atomic bomb, two things that the only creatures in the universe immune to them are godzillas and cockroaches. Basically, in general cockroach can be beaten by panda, which can be beaten by a tiger, which can be beaten by a godzilla. An atomic bomb can beat panda and tiger and leave godzilla and cockroach. Godzilla and cockroach can both be beaten by a black hole. But I wonder whether a black hole or an atom bomb would win in a fight? They would probably open a gateway to another dimension, come to think of it.
Thus, the only way I can be defeated, once I invent a force field that makes me immune to black holes and everything, is if my private godzilla attacks me, I open a black hole, and he throws an atom bomb into it, and he also has enough bombs to stop every black hole I can possibly open. But it's reassuring that no other attack from no other individual would possibly be able to defeat me.
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Postby EventSpire on Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:30 pm

I actually watch The Daily Show.


Rob Cordry!
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Postby Wicca on Tue Aug 17, 2004 2:42 pm

Okay let's compromise.

Image Image

Meet the Red Panda. It's looks similar to a raccoon and has 'Panda' in its name.
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Postby Brady Kj on Tue Aug 17, 2004 4:43 pm

Hello, Novan Scotian Wiccan. There's a slight flaw in this compromise of yours. Although I suspect that the red panda knows martial arts, it has come to my attention that red pandas aren't frickin' huge, although I'm sure they're better than raccoons and koalas and muskrats.

And I don't see how you can fail to see the strategic value of an animal that has the highest combination of brute strength and cuteness possible. (Answer this question, can you look at a panda's big dark eyes with the pretty black spots surrounding them, and kill it? Yet, it can easily kill you if I can train it to do so, hence its bestness).

Why don't you look for an animal that's similar in size to a panda and has 'raccoon' in its name? That'll be a nice compromise.
Or... I don't suppose you like elephants or hippopotomi or rhinoceri or dragons ... we need a cute or pretty animal anyway.
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Postby Padriac on Tue Aug 17, 2004 4:44 pm

Hippos would rock all.
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Postby The Godmexican on Sun Aug 22, 2004 6:44 pm

i would have to say that the ever-elusive penguins beat all
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Postby EventSpire on Sun Aug 22, 2004 7:10 pm

I disagree.


I DISAGREE.
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Postby The Godmexican on Mon Aug 23, 2004 9:05 am

penguins eat lizards, Event...even those affected by radiation
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Postby Brady Kj on Mon Aug 23, 2004 9:56 am

The Godmexican wrote:penguins eat lizards, Event...even those affected by radiation

Oh, of course. Penguins are rough and tough super-duper lizard-killing machines. That's why there's no lizards in Antarctica. Another advantage is that everyobody trusts a penguin.

The only hole in your plan, is that to the best of my knowledge there's no penguin of sufficient brute strength to kill anything larger than ... say, a buffalo. Hey, what kind of weapons do penguins carry? Machine guns?

This is the kind of thing we need from everybody. Brainstorming.
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Postby The Godmexican on Mon Aug 23, 2004 4:41 pm

youve never seen Batman Returns, have you?!
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Postby Brady Kj on Tue Aug 24, 2004 7:38 am

The Godmexican wrote:youve never seen Batman Returns, have you?!


Actually I think I have seen it, long ago in ancient times.
Oh! I remember what weapons penguins carry! Bombs! ...... right?
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Postby The Godmexican on Tue Aug 24, 2004 10:05 am

of course! the killer penguins of ... the penguin dude played by danny devito
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