I want to KNOW!

This is one morbidly obese Jesus that's guaranteed to brighten, not darken, your day!

Moderator: MikeLeffel

I want to KNOW!

Postby Dezro on Fri Apr 25, 2003 2:05 pm

DEAR BOB SCOTT & HIS WALRUS NAMED MIKE,

Please tell us some lies about Nebraska.
User avatar
Dezro
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 3880
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Contested Territory

Postby El SillY on Fri Apr 25, 2003 2:54 pm

Cheese can be your special friend.
User avatar
El SillY
Grand Poobah Keenspotter
 
Posts: 639
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: my trusty sock

Postby theangryQ on Fri Apr 25, 2003 3:22 pm

Is there some sort of international protest that involves making Bush and Blair lipsynch to odd music? Because I saw another movie like that in which they're singing a love duet, "There's Only You In My Life" or something like that.
Crime is down and, oddly enough, so is tourism.
User avatar
theangryQ
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 3554
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Saturn Valley

Postby LCARS on Fri Apr 25, 2003 3:49 pm

Why would you want to know more about Nebraska?

Corn
Cows
And Hicks.

There, you are now an honorary Nebraskan. :P

There's also a sizable lake in the south-western corner of Nebraka. Which I got stuck in for 7 hours. Had to get some hicks to pull me out.
User avatar
LCARS
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 5280
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Boulder, CO

Postby Dezro on Fri Apr 25, 2003 4:23 pm

I don't want to know about the bovine cornhicks. I want to hear some UNtruths.
User avatar
Dezro
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 3880
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Contested Territory

LESSON #1

Postby BabyJ on Fri Apr 25, 2003 7:32 pm

If you are out in the wee hours of the morning in Nebraska,
you may be able to spot the YELLOW BRASKALOO, a small
dog-sized buffalo with glow in the dark hide. They leap from
tree to tree uttering curses at each other in their unique
language, which is almost like burps and farts. If startled,
the Braskaloo may give chase, or run away, or faint.

Braskaloo nests can be found under cars and inside
gas stations. The comfort of gasoline odor helps the
Braskaloo to sleep. During the winter months, the Braskaloo
feeds on it's own dead.

Braskaloos can be kept as domesticated pets, but certain
unscrupulous individuals often sell ordinary, disease-carrying
RED Braskaloos that are painted yellow.
IMPEACH BUSH! A Graphic Novel by Bob Scott, Illustrated by Mike Leffel. Available at BLATANTCOMICS.COM now!
COMING THIS JUNE?: OFFICE OF HEROES!
User avatar
BabyJ
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 5645
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2001 12:00 am
Location: BUY IMPEACH BUSH AT BLATANTCOMICS.COM!

Postby bobscott on Fri Apr 25, 2003 8:09 pm

I recall a radio show I heard a few years back where they had a rather lengthy discussion about how Nebraska cattle are morally superior to Iowa cattle. Of course, this led to the great "Cattle Civil War" (which the cattle apparently named, because Iowa and Nebraska are seperate states). They amassed along the Nebraska-Iowa border (with the help of various dogs and even some Braskaloos, as well as Elaine Bracco, if I recall correctly!), and the war was underway.

The war ended without a single shot being fired (cows have trouble handling guns), though through various stampings and gorings and hoofal flailings, 3 billion cows were killed. Their corpses filled the Missouri River, blocking its flow almost completely, causing massive flooding and death. After the initial 3 billion deaths, cows on either side of the border that were still alive (they were stacked to save space, allowing for trillions in each state) were unable to climb the mountain of corpses and realized the errors of their ways after they realized that they couldn't fashion cow-usable aeroplanes.

After a cow-armistice had been agreed upon and signed by representatives of both sides, the massive numbers of corpses were removed by the magical "god-scoop" -- a giant claw which reaches down from parted clouds and grabs anything directly beneath it, pulling whatever it grabs back to its invisible heavenly home. There was much rejoicing, and finally, the cattle could go back to being slaughtered to feed people!

THE END!

Bob "And that's a TRUE FACT!" Scott
-So much for credibility!
Last edited by bobscott on Fri Apr 25, 2003 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
bobscott
Grand Poobah Keenspotter
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2000 12:00 am
Location: Omaha, Nebraska

Postby Dezro on Fri Apr 25, 2003 8:11 pm

Thank you, Bob and Walrus.
User avatar
Dezro
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 3880
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Contested Territory

Postby BabyJ on Fri Apr 25, 2003 9:01 pm

Dezro productions presents:
Image
User avatar
BabyJ
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 5645
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2001 12:00 am
Location: BUY IMPEACH BUSH AT BLATANTCOMICS.COM!

Postby TODCRAProductions on Fri Apr 25, 2003 9:08 pm

more animals should have moustaches. goddammit.
User avatar
TODCRAProductions
Keenspot Juggernaut
 
Posts: 7184
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: http://kittysneezes.com

 

Return to Fat Jesus

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron