You know who should be allowed to play Unchained Melody on anybody's watch? The Goons- or at least the two thirds of them that are Milligan and Sellers. They increased the tempo to an enjoyable rate and added the compelling line "ying tong ying tong iddle i po, I played the ukulele while the ship went down." The result is so good that for a long time it remained unreleased because the owners of the original song didn't want to undermine the sickly-sweet "integrity." Anything undermining that sickliness so thoroughly has got to be good, right?
YouTube proves my point.