It's not legal but it feels so good

[Saint_37]

So I just got back from the laundromat where I received an interesting phone call. Our resident wizard, gurshu12, was having himself a gay old time getting drunk with his friends. At his request, I have come to record choice pieces of the conversation that we had which he won't remember tomorrow.

But before we get to all the fun quotes, he told me to give my regard to the following, in the very words he phrased it:

Becca, he loves you because you're his Queen.
godot, you're a whore.
TehDUDE, you're a bitch, but he loves you and you're cool.
Bane and Vex, you guys are his homies and some cool bros.
Stingra, you're a bitch and a mean asshole and mean, but you're still cool.
And the rest of you don't matter enough.

Now, for some excerps from the convo.

"Why teh fuck amI wearinggg shandalz? I'm not ghey. I don't wear shandalz because I'm not ghey. Onnly gheysz wear shandlas."

"I don't want to shere havink sex to a gurl with a light saber because what if the gurl getz moar plezure frum the light sabr den meee?"

"You need to come down here so we kan hangg ouwt and then you can buy meeee drinkz...and I can drink them and get drunk."

"if we evr gottt kidnappt in south america tehdude woould come and reskoo us and liek rounhouse the fuck out of all those bastards...then he would punch us outin the face for being kidnept."

"Im allneekid right now andlying on a bed sssaint. does that make yoou hot?"

"I want to have ghey sexx wif you. Right now."

[Vex Wolf]

Ironically I nearly coughed up my own lung laughing so damn hard. Thats fucking hilarious

And now I am an offical wizard's homie. Kick ass.

[Wolfsbane]

And a cool bro.

[Vex Wolf]

Indeed. Suddenly I want to watch my star wars movies

[Stingra]

I'm working on being less mean.

I think I've gotten a bit too cynical and bitter for my own damn good.

[gurshu12]

My god...I woke up with the biggest hangover this morning...3 asprin ftw...

Heh, I only remember like half of those. And no...I don't really want to have gay sex. It's just something to make people feel better about themselves...or something...

I do remember telling Saint a history lesson about our ancestors, how the Itallians during the prohibition era helped out the Irish by circulating underground alcohol establishments because they knew irishmen need their whiskey.

So if we ever meet...you're buying.

God I got a huge fucking headache....

Edit: ...Why the fuck AM I wearing sandals?

[Wolfsbane]

Yeah, shadalz are for gheys. Or so i've heard.

[ChibiBecca]

drunken phonecalls tend to be amusing.. my freinds never remeber them in the morning.

[Masteroftheweb]

I got a call prior to the drunkness... Gursh wanted to know how traveling in D&D worked.

[gurshu12]

...Yeah? So what?

[Wolf of the Brujah]

Heh we attempt to play D&D when were all drunk...hehehe wake up

"When the hell did I sell all my possesions for A dagger of bard slaying + 12?"

DM: "Bout the time you tried to slaughter an innocent child for looking at you funny."

[Blast]

The lightsabre one was perhaps the one with the most lulz.

[gurshu12]

Yeah I know-

*double take*

Who the fuck are you?

[KellKatta]

Another one?

[vden]

Ok, I just in from one of the worst nights in recent history.

The music was crap, no one was talking, I ended up drawing little pictures on beermats and no one found it funny.

I did however discover something new; a local drink called 'the bomb'. It's made from some European larger, absinthe and red bull. You also set it on fire. While setting fire to spirts isn't anything new or surprising, what surprised me was how much the drink didn't taste like alcohol at all. If fact, you burn off most of the alcohol before you drink it.

All day people were going on about the bomb; "Are you going to drink the bomb?" "You gonna have a bomb" "You look like the type who'd like a bomb, have a bomb" "get a bomb" Everyone got the bomb. The way everyone was going on I thought it was a serious drink. A cool drink. A cult drink like Black Death or Absinthe.

It wasn't.

I can honestly say that it is one of the shittest drinks I have ever had. The purpose of the whole thing is to get rid of the bitter taste of absinthe for people who don't like drinking anything that doesn't taste like pop. As you can probably guess, this is one of those drinks that you down in one go, further destroying the whole drink experience.

I like my spirits, especialy rum and wisky and get so fucking sick of people who think that the only way to drink is to chug it all down in one go. They pester me, they annoy me with things like "Chug! Chug!Chug!" "Doooown it!" and ""down in one man." Fuck you. I like to drink my drinks in my own time goddamnit. I paid for this drink and I'm damn well going to enjoy it. I'm not going to treat my alcohol like a two dollar whore and get it all finished in six seconds; I'm going to savour it, enjoy it, make the most of it. Like a long slow fuck with a woman I love, to complete the analogy.

You don't want to drink absithe right out of the bottle? Fine, mix it with sugar water like the ye olde people who did the paintings did, you get a fine drink that looks like milk, has a high %, tastes wonderful and doesn't lose the psychotropic effects of wormwood extract; it's something you can enjoy. Something that will last. Don't get the sweetest larger from another country and an energy drink, down it and pretend you're a hard drinker. You're not.

If you do that then it's likely you drink alcholopops, just because they taste like the fruit juice you had as a kid. The drink doesn't matter, the mood, the setting, hell even the fucking company you have around you doesn't matter; all that matters to you is how fast you can drink fruit punch. While this isn't bad or wrong in itself (well ok, it is), what is wrong is the way you brag about your amazing ability to consume large volumes of shit intended to appeal to underage drinkers. You can't even keep it down, spewing your multi-coloured apple scented vomit crap all over the fucking pavement because you had "sooooooo much to drink".

Stop it. Stop it right now.

Downing pints is good for drink races or showing off, it is not how you drink every fucking thing you buy. Alcohol should not taste like pop, I don't care how much you loved the Robinson's fruit juice your mother gave you when you were a kid, the only fruit in alcohol should be in wine or cider form. And even then your sexuality comes into question if you drink wine.

And what the hell is it with people being proud of drinking so much they throw up? So you can't handle your drink, that's nothing to be proud of. Drink too much and you can't have sex, can't write your name and can't remember the way home. If you do this then you deserve to be glassed with every bottle in the bar. It shows you can't drink responsably and shouldn't be anywhere near the stuff. Really. You're not going to impress me with stories on how you vomitted all over your girlfriend's mattress or ate half a curry before taking a shit in the living room after drinking six, yes SIX (gasp!) bottles of some overpriced apple flavored alcho-pop.

Get a beer. Get a double. Get a fucking Black Russian with ice and a little umbrella, I don't care JUST GROW THE FUCK UP! You still drink the shitty things you drank when you were thirteen and you still think you're being cool. Some day you'll realise what a freaking moron you've been and have a nice cool pint of real liquor in the company of real friends and actually enjoy yourself. No vomit, no cheap curry, none of this bullshit about how putting Red Bull or Robinson's Blackberry in a drink makes it better and pretending to be something you're not.

Just chill, take your time and enjoy a real drink.

I'm not even going to get started on people who drink shots.

[KellKatta]

That was one long ass post. The sad thing is, I read it all.


I'd have to agree on a few points though, my friends older brother was all bragging about emptying his stomach.

I was like...pussy. I don't like shots at all. u.u

[gurshu12]

I hope you're not yelling at me, otherwise I'd probably go write a livejuurnahl blag about it. I agree, I don't like shotguns unless I'm just in a good mood, I love whiskey, and I love chilling the fuck out while getting my buzz.

Now shut up and grab a controller, I'm totally losing to this dungeon.

[vden]

No, I'm not yelling at you. You like to chill while drinking. That's cool.

[Paradox244]

While I don't, as a rule, drink, I would like to point out that drinking crappy fruit juice alcohol, most kinds of wine, and those damn mint frapachinno things makes you gay. Proven fact.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, it's not drinking wine that makes you gay, it's talking about it. Nothing says "I like getting it from behind" more than going on about rotten grapes like they're the second coming of Christ.

[ChibiBecca]

i've gone compleately off alco-pops.. they're too sweet and sickly for me.

vodka and coke, archers and lemonade or rose wine is enough for me! i never drink to get drunk on the rare occasions that i do drink.. i just drink enough to get a happy buzz. ^^




pissed off at the drunken twats living next doors, and all those back at uni. what's so fun about coming home at 4am, throwing up and not being able to remember the night before.. and doing this 5 times a week? now and then, fine.. but several times a week must be punishing their bodies.

[Saint_37]

Now that I think about it, it's not drinking wine that makes you gay, it's talking about it. Nothing says "I like getting it from behind" more than going on about rotten grapes like they're the second coming of Christ.

Especially if it's a frenchman. But in my eyes they're all ghey anyway so it's just another layer of faggot icing.

[Wolfsbane]

Get a beer. Get a double. Get a fucking Black Russian with ice and a little umbrella, I don't care JUST GROW THE FUCK UP! You still drink the shitty things you drank when you were thirteen and you still think you're being cool. Some day you'll realise what a freaking moron you've been and have a nice cool pint of real liquor in the company of real friends and actually enjoy yourself. No vomit, no cheap curry, none of this bullshit about how putting Red Bull or Robinson's Blackberry in a drink makes it better and pretending to be something you're not.

Just chill, take your time and enjoy a real drink.

I'm not even going to get started on people who drink shots.

Hell yes. Cheers mate.

Drink of preference: Rum'n'Coke. And non-cheap whisky.

[Vex Wolf]

Cherry Vodka is the most horrible drink I have ever had the displeasure to taste, unfortunately I had an entire bottle shoved into my arms just a few weeks ago -_-

But when I went to Jamaica last year I tried a few of their specialty drinks.... Jamaican rum cream, best thing to go with coffee ever. I still like my southeren comfort though as I only like being a little tipsy generally.

And what the hell is it with people being proud of drinking so much they throw up

God... I was laughing my ass of yesterday at a friend. Apparently he was planning on getting teh laidness with a most hot drunken babe.... that is until she vomited all over his lap. As I said to him I definately believe it serves him fucking right.

[ChibiBecca]

a girl once got so drunk at a party we were both at, that they took her to hospital. she was so pissed that she had to sit on a freind's lap to stay upright, and then wet herself.

making her literally 'pissed'. >> oho.

[gurshu12]

This is why men are superior. We can pee out windows.