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And now for something completely different...

Postby miK. on Wed Mar 02, 2005 8:39 pm

Axis of Evil Wanna-Be's
(This has been credited to John Cleese, but satirewire.com and the onion
were mentioned as well. Who knows, it's funny!)

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil",
Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the
"Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that
stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his
State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, imme-
diately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
name. "Right. They are just as evil . .in their dreams!" declared North
Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evil...
best at being evil...we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An
axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President
Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II
you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only
have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool." Interna-
tional reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within
minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status
in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and
Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil",
forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occa-
sionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis
of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up,
Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of
Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About
America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of
Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really,
just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack
McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from
Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile,
insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's
only because no one asked them.
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miK.
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