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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:28 pm

Here's a things you might not think about:

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when the law doesn't allow you drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON(R), how do they make TEFLON(R) stick to the pan?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why do Kamikazi piltos wear helmets?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:30 pm

And now for:<h2> Oxymoron Theatre</h2>

accurate horroscope  acute dullness  act naturally  Advanced BASIC  almost exactly  alone together  Anarchy rules! British fashion  benign tumor  black Russian  business ethics  cheerleading scholarship  childproof  clean coal  coal mine safety  computer jock  computer security  clearly ambiguous  compassionate conservative  Congressional ethics  conservative liberal  constant variable  constructive attitude  corporate conscience  dark star  deafening silence  devout Athiest  diet ice cream  domestic violence  double solitaire  down escalator  educational television  elementary calculus  even odds  exact estimate  express bus  extensive briefing  family vacation  fatally injured  federal budget  fish farm  flexible ethics  found missing  free love  french deodorant  fresh-frozen  friendly fire  friendly takeover  genuine imitation  government organization  holy war  honest crook  idiot savant  industrial park  instant classic  intense apathy  larger half  lean pork  light heavyweight  limited lifetime guarantee  linear curve  liquid gas  little giants  managed competition  mandatory option  melted ice  Microsoft Works  mild mannered reporter  military intelligence  minor crisis  New York culture  non-working mother  original copies  paid volunteer  passive aggressionist  peacekeeper missile  pet fish  polite salesman  political science  postal service  randomly organized  random logic  rap music  Reagan Democrat  religious tolerance  rock opera  rush hour  sanitary landfill  scheduled spontaneity  sensitive guy  seriously funny  silent scream  socialist market economy  soft rock  suicide victim  sure bet  sweet sorrow  synthetic natural gas  tame cat  temporary tax increase  terribly enjoyable  traffic flow  tragic comedy  unbiased opinion black light - jumbo shrimp - sense of Congress - marijuana initiative - Democratic leadership - diet ice cream

There are many more, but these are the ones I think are the funnt ones. Some are just outright stupid.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TheDUDE on 2002-03-16 21:31 ]</font>
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:31 pm

Now, let's see what else I can do...
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:32 pm

oo! oo! I, know! Let's see how old I am by upping my post count!
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:33 pm

<h1>1
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:33 pm

<h1>2
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:33 pm

<h1>3
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:33 pm

<h2>4
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:34 pm

<h2>5
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:34 pm

<h2>6
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:34 pm

<h2>7
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:34 pm

<h1>8
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:35 pm

<h1>9
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:35 pm

<h1>10
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:35 pm

<h1>11</h1>

*yawn* this is getting boring
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:36 pm

12
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:36 pm

13
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:36 pm

14
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:36 pm

15
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:36 pm

16
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:37 pm

<h1>17

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TheDUDE on 2002-03-16 21:37 ]</font>
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:38 pm

<font size=14>18
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:38 pm

<font size=20> 19!</font>

WOO HOO! We made it!
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:39 pm

that was shameful
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Postby TheDUDE on Sat Mar 16, 2002 9:42 pm

And now, it's time to say good nite.

GOOD NITE Y'ALL HYUCK HYUCK HYCUK
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