Bruno Creator Released by Aliens; Retaliates With Fetish Art

A warrior (Bruno) and a small dragon (Fiona) team up for fun and plunder in this fantasy comic strip.

Moderators: kmd, Ian McDonald, Limax

Bruno Creator Released by Aliens; Retaliates With Fetish Art

Postby AisA on Fri May 19, 2006 11:42 am

Webcomic creator Ian McDonald was today released by wayward Tralfamadorians from their Intergalactic Zoo. A spokesthing for the Tralfamadorians offered as reason for the release the "cost of feeding the specimen" as well as the "near impossibility of finding another sentient species willing to mate with it. I mean, there was that she-goat creature from Rigel VI, but I've seen her attempt to mate with a kitchen stool and a #2 pencil, so there's no challenge there, and besides, she would probably have eaten the specimen afterwards."
Teleporting back to earth through a chrono-synclastic infundibulum, Mr. McDonald paused just long enough to comment on how well his captors treated him, "except it was damn difficult to get a decent sandwich there, and you could forget about having a pizza delivered," before dashing off to his computer to fire off an update to the Rothland Tribune in which he threatened to bring Mankind into the cosmic brotherhood by releasing a book on spirituality, or by nailing a copy of "Bruno's Most Wanted" to the door of the Wittenburg Cathedral, until he was reminded of the Diet of Worms and had to take a snack break.
Showing proof of his subtle brainwashing by his alien captors, Ian then released his fevered nightmare image of a "Miss Conception", a mythical beast born of the melding of fantasy poetry and attempting to draw under sleep deprivation. The wave of "fapping" caused in the internet community resulted in a freak windstorm over North America that sank the tiny island of St. Pierre off the coast of Newfoundland and caused France to declare war on eastern Canada. Premier Danny Williams is rumored to be considering offering L'anse Aux Meadows and Buddy Wassisname as amelioration.
Meanwhile, furry communities worldwide rejoiced in having found a new icon to represent their multi-spiritedness. Their simultaneous joyous yiffing caused them all to ascend to a spiritual state of pure energy to be reborn at some future date as Imperial Dragons and little brown chinchillas. Richard Gere was unavailable for comment.
Promising regular updates to the Rothland Tribune henceforth, McDonald sought to assure his readers that Bruno the Bandit updates would continue as normal, the evil cyborg clone servant of Lord Kang having been fed through a meat grinder and served on toast with pickles and a devilled egg.

Now, see what happens when you don't keep your content up to date?
BTW...consider this my request for an email copy of your tome. I look forward to the many arguments I know it will bring us, and will be setting aside a nice bottle of Grey Goose vodka, vintage last Tuesday, 8 pm, so that I'm in a properly sharpened frame of mind when I read it. I assume you're already in negotiation for the Mel Gibson film adaptation?
User avatar
Keenspotter Supreme
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 7:59 am

Postby ShardZ on Sat May 20, 2006 11:22 am

Nooooo! Not L'anse Aux Meadows! What would the French government care about early Viking settlements in North America? Unless they have fond memories associated with the history of Normandy, they'd probably ruin it! (Well, maybe they'd run aground in the harbor, first. 8))

But take care, Ian! (And that is some deadly-cute "fetish art," there. :) Oops... his words, not mine!)
In order to clearly see what is in the shadows, you must first enter them.

User avatar
Grand Poobah Keenspotter
Posts: 782
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 12:24 pm
Location: The haunts of grues, lucksuckers and eldritch vapors.

Postby Murray M. Lee on Wed May 31, 2006 6:56 am

At least the aliens didn't make him pay for his own abduction.
A Writer's Block
- Science Fiction stories, jokes, and art
USS Freedom
The Misadventures of the wackiest ship in Starfleet (in hiatus)
User avatar
Murray M. Lee
Grand Poobah Keenspotter
Posts: 351
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2000 12:00 am
Location: Va. Beach


Return to Bruno The Bandit

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests