The Never-Ending Story

A warrior (Bruno) and a small dragon (Fiona) team up for fun and plunder in this fantasy comic strip.

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Postby Major Tom on Tue Oct 01, 2002 11:55 am

goils were goils and men were men...
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Postby Limax on Tue Oct 01, 2002 11:58 am

and my dad dressed up as a woman every night. Oh, yes... those were the days....
.__ ___ __ _... ._ _

A salted slug gathers no moss.

This post is brought to you by the number 6.
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Tue Oct 01, 2002 4:20 pm

However, after I stopped reminescing, I realized something. I wasn't the original narrator, but I *was* the second one. What did it mean? Had it all been real (or surreal, as the case may be)? Was the original narrator a voice inside my head? Or was he some kind of dangerous madman who was using my bad stomach for an evil experiment?

I decided to find the answer. So, I began by...
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Postby Limax on Wed Oct 02, 2002 5:59 am

starting all over with 'Once upon a time...'
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Postby mouse on Wed Oct 02, 2002 11:51 am

which didn't actually help, since the story didn't originally start out that way. i remember now.... it started with some kid called "rokkit boy". yeah...."rokkit boy". he was the one i needed to find ..... then we could "discuss" this whole "narrator" thing (and my sudden prediliction to "quote" stuff). so i headed for....
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Postby Limax on Thu Oct 03, 2002 11:00 am

the bathroom to do some heavy thinking. I stayed in there until...
Last edited by Limax on Thu Oct 03, 2002 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Sat Oct 12, 2002 9:01 am

...somebody posted to this thread again. You might think it strange to spend over a week in the bathroom, but that door handle has a tendency to stick.

Unfortunately, I hadn't managed to get much thinking done while I was in there. However, it turned out this wasn't so bad, because when I got out...
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Postby mouse on Sat Oct 12, 2002 11:27 am

i found that the place had been ravaged by a raging horde of rampaging wolverines. the furniture was in shreds, there were holes in the walls....actually, it was something of an improvement. and all that reading time had allowed me to finally finish both of my bruno the bandit books. so, while i waited for delivery of the third, i figured i might as well.....
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Postby Dunlavy on Sat Oct 12, 2002 2:20 pm

...see my girlfriend. I hopped on my bike.

"Don't race Camaros on foot. You'll only lose harder," she said. Then she bit me on the leg. I winced in pain and beat her with a fish until...

(my stories suck)
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Postby Limax on Mon Oct 14, 2002 5:58 am

a mongoose came charging by, chasing a walnut that had run away from the apple tree. Confused by this turn of events, I turned around and found myself not in this story, but in one that was six feet to the left. This was just fine by me, since now I was a swashbuckling, dashing hero with a tendency for...
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Postby Major Tom on Mon Oct 14, 2002 6:11 am

...exaggeration, which helped to pass the time spent behind the desk filled with horrendous, evil, anthropomorphic paperwork.

Well, that and...
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Mon Oct 14, 2002 4:51 pm

...a purple dragon and a sentient coin. Naturally. And, of course, the desk was in the Breakgooses, Inc. corporate headquarters.

At any rate, the dragon ate the paperwork, and my manager, who for whatever reason also happened to be a waitress, walked in and said...
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Postby Limax on Tue Oct 15, 2002 5:57 am

"What are you doing sitting under the table?" Embarrassed, I quickly got out from under the table, hitting my head on the underside of it in the process. Dazed and confused, I looked at my manager in a new light. Her form was silhouetted against the window at the front of the diner. She had a shape that just wouldn't quit. So I....
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Postby Major Tom on Tue Oct 15, 2002 9:04 am

...shook my head violently until her outline settled down. Which was apparently quite a mistake, because...
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Postby Limax on Tue Oct 15, 2002 9:14 am

there seemed to be more of her than ever before... either that, or I was still seeing double... waitaminnit... she's twins!! ...
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Postby mouse on Tue Oct 15, 2002 2:07 pm

this thought was unfortunate, since it immediately propelled me into a doublemint gum commercial. the office was now entirely filled with twin purple dragons, singing "it's TWO *snap* TWO *snap* TWO mints in one".

two mints of course meant twice as many coins, and they started cascading through the air, piling up around....
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Postby Limax on Wed Oct 16, 2002 6:18 am

the bathroom doors. Which was really unfortunate because the mystery meat that day left a lot of people, um, unwell. There was a rush on the bathrooms, but no one could get in them because of the coins. In desperation, they...
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Wed Oct 16, 2002 3:20 pm

...started singing folk music. Naturally, this scared all the coins away, but unfortunately, it also scared away all the customers, even though they had been the ones playing the folk music. In the ensuing confusion, the TV playing the Doublemint commerical was broken, leaving only one waitress/manager and one dragon. Unfortunately, somehow they had fused into one dragon/waitress/manager entity, too, and he/she/it/they was/were screaming at the top of his/her/its/their lungs that it was MY fault, even though I had been under the table at the time.

Realizing that this would be a good time to leave, I...
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Postby Limax on Thu Oct 17, 2002 6:08 am

tripped over my untied shoelaces and fell flat on my face.
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Postby mouse on Thu Oct 17, 2002 1:31 pm

fortunately, this was interpreted by the d/w/m entity as a form of submission, and so, somewhat mollified, it/they went to round up all the coins and put them in the tip jar. while it/they was so occupied, i quietly...
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Postby Limax on Thu Oct 17, 2002 2:22 pm

removed my shoes and crept out of there. As soon as I got outside I realized that I'd forgotten something...
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Thu Oct 17, 2002 5:29 pm

...namely, my shoes.
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Wed Oct 23, 2002 5:50 pm

And so, after spending the better part of a week standing out there debating whether to go back for my shoes, I realized that the waitress/manager/dragon probably would have found me by now if he/she/it/they was/were still looking for me. So, I went back in, and discovered, to my horror...
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Postby mouse on Thu Oct 24, 2002 3:26 pm

that the place had turned into a disco - flashing lights, glitterball, 80's music, the whole thing. men in polyester disco suits were dancing around, trying to look like a young travolta, while in fact looking too much like the old one. and the women, still looking for mr. goodbar, after having clearly consumed too many. it was ....
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Fri Oct 25, 2002 6:25 pm

...all just a hallucination brought on by the dragon/waitress/manager throwing my shoes at me, and demanding to know why I was behind schedule by nearly a week. Fortunately, he/she/it/they then started rambling on about some unimportant thing, giving me time to put on my shoes, run, trip over the shoelaces again, teach myself how to tie them (somehow I'd gotten up to this point in life without learning), end up tying them around my ankles, trip again, find a random passerby and ask him for help tying my shoes, discover he didn't know how to tie shoelaces either, but not until after he had tied one of my shoelaces to his elbow and the other to his front teeth, get to a dentist's office to have my shoelace removed from his teeth, ask the dentist how to tie my shoes, discover that the dentist didn't know how to tie shoelaces either, end up with the three of us all tied in a knot, go back to Breakgoose's, and ask the dragon/waitress/manager about tying shoelaces just as he/she/it/they was finishing up whatever he/she/it/they were talking about.

As it turned out, he/she/it/they *did*, in fact, know how to tie shoelaces. But there was another problem to sort out...
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