The Never-Ending Story

A warrior (Bruno) and a small dragon (Fiona) team up for fun and plunder in this fantasy comic strip.

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Postby Antarius on Sun Sep 01, 2002 3:37 pm

I immediately made my way down the hall, stopping only to pick up a supply of Poison Apple(tm), before I got Two Nosey.

It was then that I decided to...
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Postby mouse on Tue Sep 03, 2002 3:41 pm

go back and check out the pool instead. i mean, who puts a pool in a hall? you put _vikings_ in a hall, and have lots of quaffing. so i figured....
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Postby Antarius on Thu Sep 05, 2002 4:12 am

that it was time for someone to shout the obligatory:

"Go quaff yourself with a Border Collie!"

Needless to say, this caused quite a few people to turn around and stare in my general direction. To throw off sentiment that I had said it, I deftly copied the crowd and looked quizically behind me. I'm sure that the wall must have felt very foolish at that point; what with all of those people glaring at it and doubting its sanity!

John, who was an intricate part of the plot, yet by some strange event had not been introduced to the story line previously, bellyflopped to my rescue by...
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Postby mouse on Thu Sep 05, 2002 3:34 pm

stumbling into the room and saying 'what? what's everyone looking at?' in what everyone clearly considered a mock-innocent tone of voice. plus, he had clearly already been quaffing, and the border collies realized that they had been left out of his previous efforts. so ....
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Tue Sep 10, 2002 6:40 pm

...I decided to move on. And that's when I saw him; the guy who had been narrating before, and then forced that task on me! He noticed me, too, and started to run... I ran after him, when suddenly...
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Postby Antarius on Tue Sep 10, 2002 9:49 pm

The story suddenly became an haiku.

The narrator froze
his golden wings unfurled
a lone dove.
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Postby Major Tom on Wed Sep 11, 2002 6:38 am

..standing.
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Postby mouse on Wed Sep 11, 2002 1:35 pm

but that got hard to do
and count syllables
and who can ever remember
what's five and what's seven and is three even allowed?
and so in pace with the rest of the place
it went for freedom, brother
as in free coffee refills and
free internet access and
free the whales, baby! - and all in
free verse

<insert bongo solo>
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Postby Antarius on Wed Sep 11, 2002 6:09 pm

So, free prose reigned supreme once more.

The ex-narrator, at this stage, had tried to slip me by ducking into an editors convention.

The nefarious fiend dove into a Thesaurus booth and began to throw, propel, project, fling, cast, pitch, chuck, toss, jerk, heave, shy, hurl, send forth, let fly and set in motion, a group of irritated newspaper editors in my general direction.

tHe Editers, from teh gratest nown literrairy gurnals, Imediately sET Upon my spEling, and, punkchewashun, and, gramatickl errurs, and, Corected Them al, macking This storie so much hier clarse than it allredy wus.

uLTIMATELY THE GRATEST THING THAT THAY DID WAS TO CORRECT MY INCORRECT USAGE OF CAPITALIS(z)ATION AND TO ENSHORE THAT THERE WERE NO EVIL RUN-ON SENTENCES IN MY STORY AT ALL WHATSOEVER AND THAT I DIDN'T MIS-USE THE WORD "AND" AND THAT IT WAS JUST A REALLY JOLLY GOOD STORY ALTOGETHER AND IT'S REALLY QUITE NIFTY YOU KNOW 'COS ALL OF THESE GUYZ ARE LIKE THE GREATEST AND YOU KNOW THEY ARE TRULY THE BESTEST AND KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND EVERYTHING SO THAT YOU CAN SEE HOW WONDERFUL THE QALITY IS FOR A PRUFESSSHIONAL ARTICLE AND REALEYES THAT IT'S A JOLLY GOOD THING THAT THEY WERE HEAR TO HELP US OR WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BENYFIT FROM SYNDICATION OR PROFITEARING AND ALL OF THAT GUD STUFF LIKE THAT.

It was at this point that I fled and jumped, leaped, hopped, sprung, bounded, vaulted, cut capers, trip, skipped, danced and bounced the hell out of there with great haste.

Yes, the swine had elluded me, bu I had the satisfaction of knowing...
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Postby Major Tom on Thu Sep 12, 2002 6:02 am

...my panties were in a bunch.
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Postby mouse on Thu Sep 12, 2002 2:29 pm

to be precise, a bunch of roses. which is what i got for capering without a license. however, since i had the capers, and it was about lunchtime, i figured i would go find some nice tuna to put them on. i disentangled myself from the roses, and apologized to.....
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Postby Limax on Thu Sep 12, 2002 2:35 pm

the people around me. I then went and put my capon and leapt from tall buildings into....
.__ ___ __ _... ._ _

A salted slug gathers no moss.

This post is brought to you by the number 6.
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Postby Antarius on Thu Sep 12, 2002 3:31 pm

the biggest conclusions that you've ever seen!

Now set for a political career of epic proportions, I...
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Sat Sep 14, 2002 1:34 pm

...was in a perfect position to delegate the task of narration to the next poor chump who came along. This would allow me to follow the original narrator while the new one went off somewhere totally unrelated, and thus the original narrator would have no idea where I was.

Unfortunately, this plan hit a small setback when the next person I saw turned out to be...
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Postby Major Tom on Sat Sep 14, 2002 6:53 pm

Dragon Fogel wrote:
Dragon Fogel wrote:...was in a perfect position to delegate the task of narration to the next poor chump who came along. This would allow me to follow the original narrator while the new one went off somewhere totally unrelated, and thus the original narrator would have no idea where I was.

Unfortunately, this plan hit a small setback when the next person I saw turned out to be...


...Dragon Fogel
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Postby mouse on Sun Sep 15, 2002 10:12 am

it was very disconcerting to meet myself coming and going this way. especially when we got into that dance you get into when you are trying to walk around a person you just met headon, and you go right while they go left, so then you go left and _they_ go right and when both of _them_ is really _me_ - well, let's just say i got really dizzy. and then....
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Postby Dragon Fogel on Thu Sep 19, 2002 3:51 pm

...I realized that I was not, in fact, Dragon Fogel, but the narrator in the story, who had confused himself with some random weirdo on the Bruno the Bandit message board. Unfortunately, by the time I realized this, Dragon Fogel had left and I couldn't make him the new narrator.

Still, undeterred, I decided to find somebody else to be the new narrator. So, I...
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Postby mouse on Fri Sep 20, 2002 1:02 pm

figured i should find a crowd. and not just any crowd - i wanted a distracted crowd, one made up of not-too-bright people, so i could slip one of them the task of narrating without them really noticing. naturally, i thought of sports fans. and not just sports fans, but....
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Postby Major Tom on Fri Sep 20, 2002 1:09 pm

...Rugby fans!!


OI! Wot th' 'ell am I doin' 'ere??? And where th' 'ell is me pint???
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Postby Antarius on Sun Sep 22, 2002 4:27 pm

Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Stop the story...

Right. Let's sort this out, shall we? I'm going to take back the narration-ship for this paragraph or two, as the rugby fan is too busy grunting and checking his neighbour for parasites.

Got that? Good.

Anyway, I've hired a couple of Manchester United (Soccer) fans to help out, in the place of the rugby fan. Problem was, they got into a fight on the way over and are causing a riot, with a lynching planned for later.

So, we need a substitute narrator for the moment. Any volunteers? No, you Tasmanian's need not apply. Nobody notices you fools down there, anyway. As for you Svedes, we cannot have fence-sitters here.

Hmmm... Maybe we can draw straws?
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Postby Major Tom on Mon Sep 23, 2002 6:10 am

.__________________
(_________________()

.__________________
(_________________()

._______________
(______________()

.__________________
(_________________()



I think that's the best I can do...


...I'll go first.
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Postby Antarius on Mon Sep 23, 2002 6:23 am

Hmmm... Maybe if you borrow Ian's graphic tablet for a minute?

Next: Draw swords...

................./
0======|=================>
.................\



(Sorry 'bout the dots. Bloody thing broke my sword! Waaah!
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Postby Major Tom on Mon Sep 23, 2002 8:18 am

Antarius wrote:

................./
0======|=================>
.................\






It doesn't much respect the use of spaces...
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Postby mouse on Mon Sep 23, 2002 1:13 pm

oo, oo, i want to play!

....but i can only draw a blank.
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Postby Major Tom on Mon Sep 23, 2002 1:28 pm

Welll...


...just draw on your experience, then.
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