The Scottish Cartoon (fanfic, somewhat OT)

[Tim Tylor]

One of the first victims of the Virgiltech virus "experiment" was Disney's current animated project, "Macbeth". Roger, then still idealistic, objected to the Elizabethan imperialistic propaganda, Virgil protested Disney's "colonisation of the world-soul's dreams" or whatever, and so MB became the target for the first field-test of the virus. All the computer-coloured footage and much of the writing was "accidentally" formatted over. The studio shrugged its corporate shoulders and moved on to the next Tim Burton flick.

This fragment of script from the "Vision Scene" is about all that remains of the planned film. Macbeth is still uneasy about Operation Dunk Duncan, and the witches' familiars, the dagger-spirit clan, have come to give moral support:

(Spoken intro)MACBETH: What is this dagger I see before me?
This... Two daggers? Eight daggers? I see
MACMACK (the leader):Sixty-three!
Aye, lad, it's we!
(They float in space before MacBeth's boggling eyes, a host of cartoon daggers with little faces and tam-o-shanters on the pommels)

THE DAGGER SONG

Beth me old mate
We know you've got dreams
And we wait and we wait
For your sad little schemes
To go bang into action
But all that you do
Is act like you're in traction
Lie down looking blue

You...
Got...
To...
Have...
AMBITION!
Move off and get AMBITION!
Just get off your tush
Or you'll never be missed
You got to get in a PUSH
(Slam their points into the bedside table...)
You got to give it a TWIST
(...and pirouette. Flying splinters.)
Without AMBITION
You'll never change position
'Cos if you got none
Your life won't be fun
Go on, be a bomb
Full of AMBI-ITION!
(Somewhere "offstage", the daggers MacCarthywitchtrials and MacEconomymeal are inflating a set of bagpipes with tomato ketchup, for reasons which will shortly become clear.)
The Pharoahs weren't zeros
They'd got what it takes
And look at old Nero
That boy had no brakes!
Oh what if what if Great Lucifer
Hadn't had guts? (sarcastic harp-music)
He'd be up on some cloud right now
Bored off his BUTT!

(The bagpipes are lifted into view, bearing a big label saying "DUNCAN")
You...
Got...
To...
Have...
AMBITION!
Move off and get AMBITION!
Make your heart-fires go Whoosh!
Turn your hand to a fist!
Go on and give it a PUSH
(All plunge their points into the bagpipes...)
Get out and give it a TWIST
(...and spin. Horrid wet red explosion. Camera clears to show the the table awash with ketchup and the daggers sending up "By A Waterfall")
You got to have AMBITION!
Time to make your decision
Want to be a tiger, or a little flea?
A great sequoia, or a bonsai tree?
Get out there, boy, be all that you can be,
Get some
AMBITION!

MACBLOOT (the cute merchandisable haggis, watching from under the bedclothes): Baaaad!

[ThomasKDye]

That was... TOO accurate. *shudder*

[Tim Tylor]

Thanks. A Thomas Dye shudder is evidence of an evening well spent.

[Tim Tylor]

Hmm... the main forum page hasn't registered my last post. Lets see what it does with this one.

[Tim Tylor]

Testing again

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