Sex Tips

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Sex Tips

Postby Dragonwriter on Thu Oct 24, 2002 11:54 am

You got 'em. Share 'em. Be frank, be blunt, and tell us the secrets of Anything Goes Carnal Arts.

I'll post my own later.
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Postby Jae on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:00 pm

Get as much as you can while you're young. When it's old and shriveled, you'll be able to say "I don't need derpdrugs! I've had more sex that twenty people half my age!"

Well, not that you can't say that now, if you're my age... :D But then again, 11 year olds shouldn't be having sex!
~Jae~
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Postby Blasfemi on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:03 pm

This topic could be very useful for me, if i'd ever get to have sex. I don't wanna act like the totally miserable fuck-up i look like.
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Postby Jae on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:03 pm

Oh yeah... uhm... long time no see. If you've been around, I haven't been paying attention :)
~Jae~
"Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same. For all of our running and all our cunning if we couldn't laugh we just would go insane." - Jimmy Buffet (Changes in Latitudes)
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Postby Blasfemi on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:06 pm

Do you know what you didn't make there?

Sense.
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Postby Jae on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:07 pm

Blasfemi wrote:Do you know what you didn't make there?

Sense.


I was talking to DW, you utilitarian krumpet.
~Jae~
"Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same. For all of our running and all our cunning if we couldn't laugh we just would go insane." - Jimmy Buffet (Changes in Latitudes)
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Postby Blasfemi on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:07 pm

Ok, enough with insults i don't understand.
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Postby terra incognita on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:07 pm

i think i shall laugh at you all later. when you get your hopes up.
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Postby Sweet Obsession on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:08 pm

Sex tips? Um, ever try talking to your lover? Talking often turns me on, as well as being touched, or held. Just feeling safe in a person's arms is a pretty big turn on for me. It's not too complicated really. If you're talking about the nitty gritties of what parts of the anatomy to poke, rub, lick, or suck on, then you'll have to find someone else to tell you about that. I'm not giving those turn on spots away. :P
"I had a stalker once. He was very Sweet and always left a rose on my doorstep each morning for five years until the day I told him I loved him -- then he ran away."

"A kiss is merely a kiss, but an Obsession lasts a lifetime."
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Postby Blasfemi on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:08 pm

I have time to be laughed at now, if you'd like.
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Postby Jae on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:12 pm

Three words:

Floppy

Donkey

Dildo
~Jae~
"Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same. For all of our running and all our cunning if we couldn't laugh we just would go insane." - Jimmy Buffet (Changes in Latitudes)
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Postby Sweet Obsession on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:16 pm

*laughs* Jae, that's gross!
"I had a stalker once. He was very Sweet and always left a rose on my doorstep each morning for five years until the day I told him I loved him -- then he ran away."

"A kiss is merely a kiss, but an Obsession lasts a lifetime."
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Postby WheelsOfConfusion on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:32 pm

Heheh, you just be glad Uncle Benny's not here yet.
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Postby DingoesAteMyBaby on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:39 pm

Here's a fucking GREAT one.

Don't pretend that you're a god damn motherfucking dragon, cause it makes you a furry, but lamer.

Asshole.
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Postby thegrimspectreofreddeath on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:42 pm

Like someone else said, the best way is to learn from experience. Words on a page won't teach you shit, my friends. You gotta go in there and get your hands dirty (metaphorically speaking - I'm not talking about anal fisting, here, not yet).

Until then, lube it up. Your hand, I mean. HAR HAR.
DO YOU FUK?!?!
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Postby Sweet Obsession on Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:55 pm

I agree. There's only so much that reading can teach you. Though ... whenever you're doing something that is new to you, you should always take it slow. Nothing can make an experience worse than moving too fast and causing pain to someone you care about.
"I had a stalker once. He was very Sweet and always left a rose on my doorstep each morning for five years until the day I told him I loved him -- then he ran away."

"A kiss is merely a kiss, but an Obsession lasts a lifetime."
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Postby Omnimental on Thu Oct 24, 2002 3:05 pm

I would think that the "nitty-gritty" isn't as important as some people believe. It's all about empathy; if you really know them, then you'll just naturally do the right thing (or things) when the time comes. If you don't really know them, then you shouldn't be anywhere near the "nitty," not in this day and age, anyway. Waaay too many diseases to be caught that way.
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Postby Shady Bugger on Thu Oct 24, 2002 3:21 pm

Omnimental wrote:I would think that the "nitty-gritty" isn't as important as some people believe. It's all about empathy; if you really know them, then you'll just naturally do the right thing (or things) when the time comes. If you don't really know them, then you shouldn't be anywhere near the "nitty," not in this day and age, anyway. Waaay too many diseases to be caught that way.


Thumbs up for this one, nice answer Omnimental.

The simple key to great sex is caring about the person your doing it with, caring enough to make sure they have a better time than you do. The pleasure you get from giving pleasure is always a winner.

Oh and ask what they like, after all they know better than anyone else what rocks there world.
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Postby ToBeOrNotToBe on Thu Oct 24, 2002 5:02 pm

here's what I say, Jeet Kune Do Love it up. in other words, make up your own style your own form through different techniques of loving your partner...also, fucking is better if you love the person you're having sex with. Because I belive mind over matter, but matter exists also outside the mind. you should be literally and mentally one being with your partner.
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Postby Dennis J. Squidbunny on Thu Oct 24, 2002 6:27 pm

If you're going to vomit, make sure you do it before. Because if you do it after you might cause your lover to believe that you didn't enjoy yourself. And if you do it during coitus, no one is going to be impressed. Especially if you're on top. Unless you like that sort of thing.

Perverts.
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Postby Desire on Thu Oct 24, 2002 8:58 pm

Squidly... it's true then, Aussies are all perverts. :P
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Postby SFaulken on Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:02 pm

Do it sideways...

stick it in her ear.

thats what I say.
This post was lovingly brought to you by the letters, SF
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Postby Sweet Obsession on Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:04 pm

That sounds horribly painful, SF.

Oh, and hi Desire! *waves*
"I had a stalker once. He was very Sweet and always left a rose on my doorstep each morning for five years until the day I told him I loved him -- then he ran away."

"A kiss is merely a kiss, but an Obsession lasts a lifetime."
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Postby SFaulken on Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:08 pm

Sweet Obsession:

I know it does, it's kinda a joke between me and my best friend...

hehe and my Girlfriend.
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Postby Sweet Obsession on Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:11 pm

Oh, an inside joke, I follow you now. :)
"I had a stalker once. He was very Sweet and always left a rose on my doorstep each morning for five years until the day I told him I loved him -- then he ran away."

"A kiss is merely a kiss, but an Obsession lasts a lifetime."
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