Carnies!!!

[theangryQ]

You're going to get a <B>very</B> angry letter from my friends at the Pirate Anti-Defamation League.<P>------------------
"Toilet paper ads should show butts. Just like every single other type of ad."
-Shannon Wheeler, <I>Too Much Coffee Man</I>

[The Bob Talbot]

Alright, then while I'm at it I should add that clowns are evil space alien child molesters, and mimes are even worse because they're French.<P>Bring it on, you Frenchie pirate clowns from space! <P>

[BabyJ]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by theangryQ:
<B>You're going to get a very</B> angry letter from my friends at the Pirate Anti-Defamation League.<P><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Will he get paddled by PADL?<P>------------------
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[The Bob Talbot]

Losing an eye would suck, but getting to wear a cool black eyepatch would almost make up for it.<P>Though, the loss of depth perception would probably cause one to walk into walls and trip over things, therefore canceling out any coolness that would be achieved by wearing said black eyepatch.<P>In conclusion, always wear your safety glasses when operating heavy machinery.<P>[This message brought to you by Citizens Against Putting Out One of Your Eyes in a Lame Attempt to Achieve Coolness]

[The Bob Talbot]

Jeff, carnies have way less teeth than that, and somebody should be missing an eye, or a limb or two. The Dio shirt was right on. <P>Carnies are the modern day pirate. They have eyepatches, hooks, peglegs, scraggly beards, faded tatoos, scurvy, and they go "ARRRRRR!".<P>Plus, they run the big swinging pirate ship thingy!<P>Their plunder is to get rednecks to spend $75 dollars trying to win a Def Leppard mirror or a pink feathery roach clip for their girlfriend by attempting to throw a basketball through a hoop that is smaller than the ball.<P>However, if you have a hankerin' for mind altering substances made out of Draino, battery acid, ammonia, and Sudafed, then the carnie is your best friend.<P>Otherwise, be afraid. Be very afraid.<P>

[The Bob Talbot]

There used to be a chick who worked at the gas station near my workplace who had a HUGE freakish, bulging glass eye. It looked so fake, it was frightening. The glass eye always stayed wide open, unblinking and staring forward, while the other eye would be half open and moving around.<P>What a perfect opportunity to wear a black eyepatch! But instead, she went for the glass eye. She was even sorta attractive if you didn't look at the GIANT GLASS EYEBALL PROTRUDING FROM HER HEAD.<P>The moral of this story is:<P>Eyepatch = cool, Glass eye = creepy.<P>[This message brought to you by the Prosthetic Limb and Organ Fashion Police]

[lanty]

I used to have a dog with one eye. The empty socket used to hold such an aurora of fascination with me. Eventually, I grew tired of the empty socket and tried to force the dog to wear an eyepatch. He bit me...damn that one eyed dog.<P>Oh..his name was Nemo-san.<P>------------------
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[Jaello]

There's just something about the thought of Bob stomping around wearing an eyepatch and a bandana on his head with an earring in his ear...and saying "AAARGH Matey" that gets me all twitterpated.