Nutritional info for Zoe.

It will always live on in our hearts. And other vital organs contained within our eventually-dead bodies.

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Postby Shepherd on Fri Aug 10, 2001 5:09 am

Zoe Day may not know this, but it is important to note that an extremely low-calorie diet is a great way to gain weight; your body, sensing a total lack of food, shifts into "famine" mode and kicks your metabolism right down the stairs, lowering your energy level immensely and resulting in you burning very, very few calories. <P>Then your metabolism, angry about being kicked down the stairs, gets up, ignoring in its fury the way its shattered femur has severed an artery and blood is spurting all over the nice IKEA rug you put down there to balance the front hallway's decor <I>vis-a-vis</I> the side table where people put their keys and, grabbing an umbrella with a suspiciously pointy tip, comes charging back up the stairs at you, howling like Ed Meese at an Iran-Contra inquiry, blood thundering from its ankle with the regular lub-lub-lub of a manic pulse as you cower on the landing.<P>So eat normally and excercise more, kids!<P>------------------
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Postby jeffrey rowland on Fri Aug 10, 2001 7:00 am

Shepherd is RIGHT ON. Our bodies are STUPID, trying to "protect themselves" from "starvation" and what not.<P>I have KILLED my metabolism.
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Postby lanty on Mon Aug 13, 2001 3:33 am

Jeff could become a bazillionaire with his metabolism killer.<P>------------------
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Postby The Crow on Mon Aug 13, 2001 11:56 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jeffrey rowland:
<B>I have KILLED my metabolism.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>How'd u do that, Jeff?<P>------------------
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Postby Shepherd on Tue Aug 14, 2001 3:41 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lanty:
<B>Jeff could become a bazillionaire with his metabolism killer.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Jeff can FIGHT CRIME with his metabolism-killer! Imagine Jeff, swinging from building to building on his Jeff-Rope, using his Rowlandarang to kill criminals' metabolisms! Unable to eat or process food properly, they would all soon die of insulin shock or some related bad nutrition thingy!<P>Jeff Rowland: METABOLISM HUNTER.
<P>------------------
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Postby dennisjk on Tue Aug 14, 2001 6:20 am

Food should cost less for me because I eat more than other people.<P>"yes, and give me the Dennis discount for it is I, Dennis!"<P>
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Postby lanty on Tue Aug 14, 2001 9:26 am

I'd love to have a Rowlandarang. Imagine the chick factor with one o' those things!<P>Perfecting my aim...<P>
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Postby jeffrey rowland on Tue Aug 14, 2001 10:48 am

I killed my metabolism the same way I am killing my brain: <B>WITH BEER.</B><P>------------------
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Postby Jaello on Wed Aug 15, 2001 5:07 am

That sounded vaguely Pythonish.....<P>"oi! sorry about that...I didn't know you were called Dennis."
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Postby danjel on Fri Aug 17, 2001 12:19 am

My metabolism has major problems as well.. I'm beginning to think that my diet of eating random things at random moments, and filling the rest of the time with lots and lots of caffeine has made my metabolism lose it's grip on reality (apart from, you know, making me less sane than your average bear (booboo!!!)).
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Postby Iceparrot on Wed Aug 29, 2001 8:01 am

I have to agree with Jeff and say that Beer is the solution for everything <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/wink.gif">
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Postby jeffrey rowland on Wed Aug 29, 2001 8:15 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iceparrot:
<B>I have to agree with Jeff and say that Beer is the solution for everything <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/wink.gif"></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>it's also the cause of everything.<P><P>------------------
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Postby jamieg on Thu Aug 30, 2001 9:41 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iceparrot:
<B>I have to agree with Jeff and say that Beer is the solution for everything <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/wink.gif"></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I have to disagree - tequila is a better solution to everything. It solves things much faster, and without all those pesky Calories that your metabolism thrives on.
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