Story Game 2: This time it's impersonal

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Postby davidb on Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:36 am

"It says I (heart) Lon Chaney Jr."

Rachel blinked and smiled. "Thanks! He makes me want to howl!" Suddenly her smile disappeared and she looked around. "You know, I've really got to go." True to form as a werewolf, she walked over to a potted plant and lifted her leg.

"No, don't!" Emily yelled. She rushed forward as...
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Postby J. on Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:07 pm

...Pepito walked by. "Emily!," he exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing?"

The best Rachel could come up with was:
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Postby reptail on Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:25 am

"Pepito... Emily... ummm..." Rachel burst out laughing when she noticed that Michael had suddenly re-appeared into the store and was prancing around in Emliy's body wearing some of the underwear that he had stolen from the store.

Emily being in Rachels body, went completely red from the face and gasped from horror seeing herself (at least her body) parading around in underwears in public.

Michael, who was in Emily's body, noticed that he was somehow back at the store, stopped his prancing around in a position where he was on his toes with his arms up doing some ballet move.

Pepito repeated his earlier question. "Emily, what the hell are you doing?"

Rachel still couldn't do nothing but laugh.
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:02 pm

Emily used Rachel's hand to tap Pepito on the shoulder. "Dear that's not really Emily. That Michael Summering and I'm Emily you see..."

It took her less time and confusion than she thought it would to explain what was going on.

Pepito chuckled "That's kind of funny because as it turns out I'm not actually Pepito I'm..."
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Postby J. on Fri Oct 14, 2005 7:28 pm

"Bill Cosby!"
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Sun Oct 16, 2005 10:32 pm

Rachel and Emily both stared in shock and Pepito chuckled "Naw I'm just yankin your chain it's really me. Anyway I have a plan. The first step involves me slipping michael/emily an invitation to Mr. Quit Itselfs leather and lace ball tonight. Next we'll need to go get a..."
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Postby davidb on Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:29 am

"...pair of lederhosen and a tuba and some marmalade for the bestest time ever!"

Emily leaned forward and sniffed Pepito's breath. Yep. "Have you been drinking?" she asked.

"Yep!" Pepito shrieked. "Whatever I could get my hands on!"

Laughing gleefully, he ran back into the store and started dancing ballet with Emily's body.

Emily slumped down onto the cold tile floor of the mall. She wouldn't have thought her day could possibly get any worse until Rachel tapped her on the shoulder and said...
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Postby reptail on Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:44 am

"Look, Michael's broken a nail from your finger."

And sure enough, when Emily looked at Michael in her body she could see that there were little chip in her left middle finger nail.

"Why, dear GOD why...", cried Emily.
"I spent so much time and care to get the perfect finger nails."
"OK, that's enough. There's only so much a girl can take.", Emily said and got up from the floor.
"Now here's what we're gonna do..."
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Postby KDoy on Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:46 am

"We're going to get that victoria secret dress from over there and place it on Me - I mean Michael! Tying the arms around the back, now its tight, but look at that stitching, it'll hold, and Ta DA: We'll have him in a straight jacket, that will definately bring out the colour of my eyes.
"Then We're going to go get you and Pepito some thing for that lace and leather ball - personally I think we'll find a rather impressive stash at Michaels, though thats just womens intuision talking - that and an impressive knowledge of a particular kind of website.
"Once we've got you and Pepito decked out, and Michael tied up, I'll go around to yours and invite Sally Field to the Mythical Dimension - A lady whose got a marathon on Lifetime is in need of ice cream, but don't worry we'll bring enough for all - you just remember to take Michael around to mine and Pepito's before you kill Mr Quit, and then come meet me and Sally at the Rocky horror Picture Show. It'll mean that you'll miss the marathon - but at least you'll be perfectly dressed for the Show."

"ok" said Rachael "but how are we going to get to michaels...
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:54 pm

"Car out of the parking lot so we can drive away from here? I think it's being towed away right now." Rachel said pointing out the window. Emily looked where Rachel was pointing and sure enough the car they'd driven here in was being towed.

"We'll have to take the city bus or call a cab I guess." Said Emily.

"Okay but which will we do."

Emily paused. Something inside her told her that this would be the most important decision sh'ed make all year though she couldn't put her finger on why. Finally she chose...
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Postby J. on Wed Oct 19, 2005 8:19 pm

...to go with the city bus. It arrived a few minutes later, and the two girls got on. Emily (in Rachel's body) sat down next to a man who looked incredibly familiar. Then it struck her. Lon Chaney Jr!

Lon smiled. "I like your tatto," he said, pointing to Emily's arm. She quickly replied by saying...
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Postby reptail on Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:05 am

"Get lost jerk!", Emily didn't like Lon because...
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Fri Oct 21, 2005 2:44 am

He always smelled like rancid tacos and...
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Postby J. on Fri Oct 21, 2005 3:55 am

gym socks, and he had a chainsaw instead of an arm, and...
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Postby davidb on Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:15 am

...he wasn't wearing pants.

Thoroughly disgusted, Emily pushed her way to the front of the bus and got off at the next stop.

Unfortunately, she hadn't glanced at the map and now she was in...
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Sun Oct 23, 2005 6:50 pm

Lesbot Town, the part of town full of malfunctioning Leslie Nielsen robots. One of them approaced her and said...
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Postby J. on Sun Oct 23, 2005 11:28 pm

"Get me out of this hell hole."

Emily was about to turn away, but she remembered...
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Postby davidb on Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:33 am

...she'd stepped in gum when she'd gotten off the bus and was now stuck to the pavement.

Regardless, she kicked off her shoes and began to run. As she ran, she looked up and screamed. Through an open window she'd seen...
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Postby J. on Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:14 pm

...two Leslie Nielsen robots engaging in intercourse.

Emily felt a hand clap over her mouth, and her scream was muffled. "It's okay," a voice said. "This is why I brought you here. Y'see..."
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:23 pm

"Sometimes you feel like a nut... sometimes you feel like murdering the entire imperial family of Seanchan... and sometimes you feel like turning a district full of Leslie Nielsen Robots into your army of inhuman killers. It's this last thing I need your help with."

Emily turned around and there was a woman who was the spitting image of Semirhage from the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. Struggling for something sensible to say to such a nonsensical situation Emily said "Wouldn't it make more sense to build an army of killer robots if those robots were based on a guy that isn't known for playing goofy bumbling and endearing roles but rather dangerous killers like say.... Robert DeNiro or Dennis Hopper?"

Semirhage shook her head vehemently. "That just what people would expect. If they saw a robot of Dennis Hopper coming near them they'd shit bricks and run for the hills. But if they saw a robot of of perpetual lovable screwy Leslie Nielsen remind them of Frank Drebin from the Naked Gun movies they'd remain calm and docile. This will be the perfect way to catch the Dragon Reborn a.k.a. Charlize Theron off gaurd. Besides if you want to get your body back from Michael Summering intact and without deadly holes in places like lungs and bladders then you'll do exactly as I say."

"First off I want you to get me a diet coke and a..."
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Postby J. on Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:10 am

yellow moss that only grows in a red dragon's den."

"Here, you'll need this," Semirhage added, handing Emily a...
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20 points to whoever recognizes the last line of this post

Postby Lord Savaunt on Thu Oct 27, 2005 5:00 am

...Really big lollypop. Emily frowned "What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" She asked indignantly.

"She'll know when the time is right." Semirhage said pointing at Rachel who was still inside of Michael's boyd. SHe'd almost completely forgotten Rachel was there. Emily was about to ask how Semirhage knew Rachel was a woman and not a man but Semirhage had already faded away.

Three hours later Emily and Rachel emerged from the cave with the yellow moss. They were both staggering and their clothes had been torn and singed. Rachel sighed "Damn it my ass still hurts! Why'd that bloody dragon have to...? Well fuck it it's not my body anyway. It'll serve Michael right when he has a hurting ass tomorrow."

Emily shivered. "I just hate to think about what that twisted bastard is doing to my body right now."

Meanwhile at the Leather and Lace ball Michael was becoming less enthused with the notion of having a womans body. Mainly it was due to his attempts at initiatin hot lesbian sex being rejected at every turn. What was the point of having a decently attractive female body (although he'd noticed bits of celluite that he'd rahter get rid of so was planning to sign up at a gym soon) if you couldn't get other women into bed with you? It was enough to make him want to scream like a girl, which for the first time in his life he realised wouldn't be mocked in and of itself.

Just then a woman in a stunning leather outfit glided over to him with a sly look to her eyes. "Hello there little one.." She said in a husky voice as she eyed his new body like an art critic looking at a painting. "So I hear you're looking for some... femenine companionship tonight." She said stroking a finger along Michaels cheek.

Michael found himself stammering and stuck for any words to come out of his mouth just like he always did when a beautiful woman talked to him. It was all he could do to nod his head. "What's your name little one?"

"Mi... Mi... Mikaila. I'm Mikaila."

"Do you want to go find a bedroom somewhere and have your way with me Mikaila?"

"Oh yes."

"How much do you want me?"

"Re... rea... really badly."

"What would you do for a night of passion with me Mikaila?"

"A... An... Anything. Anything you say at all."

"Anything?... That's a good answer." Putting a finger under his chin she turned his head to the left. "Do you see that man in the gold colored suit little one?" Mikaila saw a tall man with gray hair streaked with white in a finely tailored golden suit with blue trim. He seemed to be the center of attention was telling what he guessed was some long drawn out joke. He nodded and swallowed trying to find something else to say.

"Point to him little one." Michael did and the finger slowly turned his face back to hers. She smiled at him with a malicious grin that made his blood run cold. For a split second her eyes had a harsh look to them that seemed full of daggers and ice. But then the warmth returned and he wondered if he'd imagined it. "You have a keen eye. That man is the infamous I. T. G. Quit Itself, the host of this lovely affair. If you can find a way to discreetly and quietly kill him without being caught then I'll take you some where lovely and you can do all your heart desires with me."

Michael nodded his head and parted his lips to try and say something but his mouth had gone dry as the Mojave. The woman pressed herself against him and he felt a flush of heat, both from her body and his blushing. She set her mouth against his ear breathed a whisper "Take your time little one, I'll be in the billiard room in the south wing when you're. Complete your task then come find so I can reward you." Then she glided past the leather of her outfit brushing against the fabric of Michaels night gown and sending ripples of excitement through him.

With a thousand thoughts running through his mind Michael walked over to a waither holding a try of wine glasses. He swallowed an entire glass in one gulp without tasting it and asked if there was anything harder to drink. The waiter pointed to one of his colleagues with a tray of whsikey and scotch. Michael made his way toward the other waiter. Until tonight he'd never had anything even approaching a murderous thought and now he was committed to doing the deed to a total stranger. It only felt appropriate that he should try and steel his nerves with a stiff drink or two first.

Meanwhile behing the facade of this innocent looking bookstore....
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Postby reptail on Thu Jul 06, 2006 2:08 pm

...a wind started blowing out of nowhere... some electricity started rippling in the air, and then there were a loud bang and a dense smoke cloud...
After the air had cleaned from the smoke, there had appeared someone or something in there, behind that little bookstore.

(and the last sentence is from a white zombie song... is it not?)
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Fri Jul 07, 2006 2:27 pm

(yes it is from a white zombie song, didn't think anyone would catch that)

Inside the book store was Milly the fried book lady. She'd orginally had that title because she was always tripping on acid and hanging around book stores. Now she that she'd be hit by lightning the title was even more appropriate. After waking up and smelling her charred flesh the first thing milly said was...
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Postby reptail on Mon Jul 10, 2006 3:20 pm

... gosh darnit, I sure would love some barbecue. After saying that she past out again.
After she woke up again, she noticed there were two mouse nibbling at her toes. She shook her legs and shouted "hush now, there's still some wind left in me". That statement was true in many ways, because when she got up she let rip some monster of a wind from her rear end.
"Wooo... that felt good, now if I only could remember what in the blazes I was doing".

(so when do I get my 20 points sav?)
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