Are we really supposed to believe....

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Postby Sophacles on Mon Apr 01, 2002 8:03 am

that its not an April Fools gag?

I mean seriously, Mike has the perfect set-up, no April fools jokes without lots of warning/disclaimers beforehand. Then this year he says "This isnt an April Fools Joke". I say its one big set-up.

Or its April Fools day and Im just paranoid. And i haven't taken my Lithium yet.

While im conspiracy theorizing, the CIA and the Taliban are working together in a huge attempt to turn the worlds supply of green jello into a giant slime mold that can read our thoughts and digest us if we think thought crimes. I HAVE PROOF!!!!! Ill show you, but by my calculations the NSA swat team should be busting down my door in 10 minutes and i need to be in mexico by then, ill post next from there.
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Postby Coldfire88 on Mon Apr 01, 2002 3:58 pm

um yes

but do tell me more about my Green Jello I always new that it felt me with a strange feeling inside but I thought that was because when I made the Jello it was cherry
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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Mon Apr 01, 2002 8:23 pm

It's not green jello, you fools, it's "mint jelly" and you put it on lamb.
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Postby BuckoSama on Mon Apr 01, 2002 10:26 pm

my idiot stepfather...

he bought mint jelly because it sounded like a nice change from other, sane sandwich jelly.

the man is...well...not intelligent.
or particularly nice.
or possesed of any positive qualities whatsoever.

but the man can make a hell of a disgusting sounding sandwich or bagel.
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Postby NotQuitePaeg@n on Tue Apr 02, 2002 9:26 am

Blashphemy!!! Theres always room for jello. Especially with fruit incased.

*pulls out a spoon.*

yummy.

*throws HIMself (there yah go Mike.) into a tub of green jello with fruit coctail mixed.*

BE BACK SOON!!!
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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Tue Apr 02, 2002 3:18 pm

That scares you?

WAIT.
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Postby Sophacles on Tue Apr 02, 2002 8:23 pm

<i>NotQuitePaeg@n said:
*throws HIMself (there yah go Mike.) into a tub of green jello with fruit coctail mixed.* </i>

WOOHOO JELLO FIGHT!!!!!

**pulls out his Soph Labs (TM) Jello Thrower (patent pending) and flings jellow everywhere**


Oh and mike, i had my labs do some tests on this mint jelly you were talking about, and its no good. Cant wrestle in it, it stings if you fling it and accidentally hit someones eyes, and its not a hoof-o-licious snack, its a condement. Green jello is still the superior gelatin for message board situations.
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Postby Arrus on Tue Apr 02, 2002 9:39 pm

Chocolate pudding is even better, though. And it's often gelatin based.
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Postby Coldfire88 on Wed Apr 03, 2002 3:03 pm

I have to say that Jello is better for wrestling then pudding and I speak from experience, but then again if you are helping to clean the other person off with something other then a hose then pudding would be very fun *evil grin*

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Postby Soulskinner on Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:09 pm

LOl.. for those who don't quite understand, A local Frat had a jelly wrestling rush (green jello) and Coldfire had the forsight to where nice pants and a sweater.. well to make a long story short, he felt he could outwrestle the Sorority girls and ended up covered in green jello...
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Postby Neunstern on Sat Apr 06, 2002 8:49 am

Jelly beans fan too then? I guess?
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Postby Sturm on Sun Apr 07, 2002 5:53 pm

I don't know about everyone else but I could go for some jello or pudding wrestling


Pez you in??
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Postby Neunstern on Mon Apr 08, 2002 2:09 pm

Ergh. Jelly Belly.

Are they made out of jelly of animals or plants by the way? I think animals, right?
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Postby Jackallen12 on Mon Apr 08, 2002 8:36 pm

Jelly bellys are made from a yet unkown substance, and lots of sugar. I had a popcorn flavored Jelly Belly not to long ago and I thought I was gonna yak.

*Takes out his famous Jello-Thrower and hoses down Everyone in the room*

Just thought y'all like a little bit o' Jello in the face.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Postby Sophacles on Tue Apr 09, 2002 10:28 pm

To: Mr JackAllen

Dear Sir;

It has come to my attention that possess as "Jello Thrower". Furthermore it is not a Soph Labs (tm) Jello Thrower (patent pending). The people here at Soph Labs (tm) work very hard to provide the best in web forum jello products, including the latest innovation, our Jello Thrower (patent pending). Soph labs is commited to improving the jello thrower, as well as its other jello products, such as the famous Pool O' Jello, Jello Ring, and Jello Sculpturing Device (jello mold apparently was someone else's trademark). We do not appreciate our hard work to be used without an official product license (available from our catalog).

Our records show that you own no such liscence to use our product. We therefore respectfully request that you either purchase a liscense or cease and desist in your use of a jello throwing device, and claims that you developed this ground-breaking technology.

Sophacles & Sophacles & Associated Sophs,
Legal counsel for Soph Labs.


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Postby Jackallen12 on Tue Apr 09, 2002 11:02 pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The Jello-Thrower was my own little invention.... damn the big corporations I'm going renegade...... Jello-Thrower isn't my only creation either.... here we have the Jello-Grenade.....
*Throws a srange looking device*

SPLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT

And here we have the ultra mega super MECHAJELLO...... Tokyo beware

I may be crazy, but I make all my own jello hurling products.... Anger the mad scientist at your own risk......
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Postby Sophacles on Wed Apr 10, 2002 7:27 am

Jello MECHA!!!! thats the greatest idea ever!
You are officially invited to join Soph labs. You remain full ownership of whatever you invent (i still hold claim to the Jello Thrower(patent pending)).

Jack, come to the Soph side. Together we can rule the forum.....
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Postby Jackallen12 on Wed Apr 10, 2002 8:58 pm

Ahhhhh offers from the coporate side..... *Jack give in to your love of money...... Take up your Mecha Jello and move to the corp side.....*

Damn moral dilemmas.... hmmmm money from corp or starving and being able to sleep at night..... oh hell with all the money I can make by being attached to a big corp I can buy enough tranquillizers to put an elephant to sleep.....

Allright count me in....... oh and I'm perfecting another innovation in Jello technology.... NUKE-O ..... it can cover an entire city or message board in your favorite Jello Flavor....

as for the thrower..... keep your design.... I'll use my own and just put a soph labs sticker on it
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Postby Sophacles on Thu Apr 11, 2002 11:51 am

all right xPez, i knew i could count on you, i just didnt wanna speak for you buddy.

(yes i know, before i was evil and now im badly quoting han solo, but hey, you know that line on the yinyang that separates the white and black parts? thats me, oh yeah, thats me)

Of course you need to lay out a research plan first, maybe base in on the saliva aplication work ive seen you do....
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Postby Jackallen12 on Thu Apr 11, 2002 9:00 pm

Pez you minx..... okay here's the design layout for the mecha

Hight: 110 ft.
Weight: 62 tons
Power source: Soph Labs 1200 KG (Kilo Gelatin) Jello generator.

I based the body and armor of green jello, It has the best reflective surface to deflect lasers. The amorphous quality of Jello makes projectiles and explosives virtually useless(seeing as the jello just fills in the spaces left by explosions and penetrating rounds. The cockpit, which I recently resdesigned with Pez in mind, is a hardened Jello substance which should be virtually indestructable so that rounds passing through the Jello cant harm the pilot. All contols for the pilot, me, are handled through a synaptic response jello system I developed exclusivly for the mecha. The pilot is taken into a virtual world where he "is" the mecha. The special modification for pez was a seat by the pilot equipped with a psy-tounge weapons array. Pez is probably the only person with the licking skills to properly handle it. The same synaptic jello system taps her into the mecha where she can unleash a mighty psy-lick to disgust and immobilize enemies.
Aside from the formidable psy-tounge the mecha contains several weapons systems that are quite devastating. They can be controlled by the pilot or a gunner can be added in a seat behind the pilot. The main weapon is a Jello Beam-Gun mounted on the back and easily accesable to the mecha's right hand. It hurls a constant stream of Cherry Jello at extremly high velocity. The jello is super charged with sugar for extra stickiness. Mounted on the left arm is a super sized Jellow thrower, capable of throwing several tons of Jello in a wide dispersal pattern for pesky little infantry. There is a shoulder mounted Jello Grenade Launcher, right shoulder, and a High Powered Long Range Jello Missle Pod mounted on the left. Located on the left hip is a Jello Saber and on the left is a Jello Power Axe. As soon as I perfect the Nuke-O I will add a mini nuke-o launcher to the right arm.
This Mecha is capable of short flight, as soon as I can stablize some Jello wings this will change, and is completly amphibious. Well I hope you like the design I've worked hard long hours to perfect it. Any proposed changes pleas let me know. Soon it will be unleashed on the board and we will dominate all!!!!
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