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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Thu Mar 07, 2002 6:07 am

Jake Bruno woke up and wondered when he had fallen asleep. The night before was one filled with deep anticipation, wonder, and terrible, terrible fear. He wondered is all incoming high school freshmen felt the same way.<P>He slowly pulled his ironed tee shirt from the place he left it the night before. If there was one thing Jake wanted to do, it was to make a good first impression with a cool tee shirt the on the first day of the rest of his life. And since Pearl Jam was his favorite band, why not wear his new Pearl Jam tee shirt? <P>His dad was waiting for him downstairs, as was a bowl of ceral (most likely frosted flakes, or count chocula) and his sister, Becky, who was going to be a senior. She sneered at his perfectly ironed shirt and slightly faded jeans. "Pearl Jam is so 1994."<P>"But it's only 1996, Beck, and how would you know what impresses the ladies?", which, of course, was said with a heavy emphasis on "ladies".<P>"More than you, Eddie Vedder."<P>"Ha ha, I get it, call me Eddie Vedder when I'm wearing the PJ shirt... ha... ha... clever, Beck, always the wit..."<P>"Enough, Jake, are you sure you don't want me to drive ya to school?"<P>"No, dad, it's cool. Pete is picking me up."<P>And, at that moment, a horn honked from outside in the tune of the theme to "The Godfather". Jake smiled. "Actually, that's him now. Later pops, sis..."<P>Jake walked outside, his first day as a freshman, to Pete and his old, beat up Ford LTD, 1983. Jake slid into the back seat, and said his hellos. Gus, Pete's brother, was driving.<P>"Dude,", Pete said, turning fully around to see Jake, who was fixing his sunglasses so they'd be 'just right', "you'll never believe what I just heard..."<P>
<i>hey message board, it's yours to continue...!!! remember, this is high school, no kelly, no megoth! just jake and his friends pete, rich, and tom! go for it! do anything! <IMG SRC=""> no signatures! <IMG SRC=""></i>
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Postby QuckMan on Mon Mar 11, 2002 3:27 am

Faith Robbins. Apparently she hadn't lost any weight over the summer, and from what Jake heard, she still had a major crush on him. He thought to himself, "Why her? Why couldn't someone hot like Nicole be interested in him?"
He was just about to start looking for Nicole when something big, mostly black, with a yellow polka-dotted tie stopped him and Pete. It was Principal Hennigan. Mr. Hennigan had a reputation for threatening freshman who were supposed to be trouble-makers. No wonder he stopped in front of Jake and Pete.
"Mr. Bruno, Mr. Pantsia..err, Patzia, ahh... Pete. I've heard about you two and your Junior High pranks. I'll expect that you've matured some this summer? If not, then I pity you," Mr. Hennigan said with a raspy voice.
Jake wasn't paying attention, so Pete saved both their asses by telling Mr. Hennigan that they had both "turned a new leaf."
"I hope so... for your sakes," Mr. Hennigan replied as he walked away to scare some other freshmen.
Pete was ready to slap Jake until he noticed why Jake was in a daze.
Without turning his head, Jake said to Pete, "It's her, man, and she's as bueatiful as ever. It's her and..."
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Postby Neunstern on Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:51 am

...Pearl Jam." Jake tried to ignore her for some time. Faiths "impressive" body, however, did not allow him keep up his mask. She was blocking the view to Nicole.
"Look", Jake moved his food aside, "why don't you simply sit down here?" The girl was kind of starteled. Then she took his offer with a wide smile. Jake sighed in happy releave. Finally he was able to watch Nicole again. His mind got lost in those eyes. What a wonderfull girl.
"Ok then!", a slap on his back woke the boy up, "See you on the convention then." With a shocked expression Jake watched Faith "Gozilla" Robbins walk off while waving at him with his phonenumber. But as he jumped up to stop her...
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Postby Jackallen12 on Wed Mar 20, 2002 1:32 am

The scent of strawberry body spray filled his nostrils. He knew that smell and turned his head to face what he knew was coming. Niccole, in all of her beauty, was walking past his table. Jake tried to turn the rest of his body to face her, but he got tangled in his own feet and fell. He reached his hand toward the table to try and catch himself, but only managed to knock his platefull of "mystery meat spaghetti" on to his rapidly descending head. He hit the floor face first, hard. Jake cursed under his breath, hoping no one had seen him fall. Jake stood up as quickly as he could and was greeted by the claps and whoops of the entire lunchroom. Niccole was still standing there giggling. "Hi.... um...." Niccole's words cut short his incomprehinsible stammering...
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Postby Bealz on Wed Mar 20, 2002 10:59 am

"WOW! What a neat hairstyle! Color, body, and good taste all in one! Maybe you can help me do mine sometime." Jake sat in mute amazement as Nicole bent over and slowly licked his forehead. As she was walking away, Pete burst out laughing so hard that he....
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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:49 pm

"Come over here for a second, boss."

Jake gushed with the thought that someone much cooler than him would call him "boss".

"What can I do for you, uh, chief?"

Jake winced as his voice cracked when he spoke. Nerves and puberty, they really don't mix too well. Jake looked at Mike waiting for a reply. Now, that guy's handsome, Jake thought, very un-gayly. If I ever wanted to aspire to someone, it's this guy, mike. What a stud.

"Why, Jake, why do you think that people don't know how to hit (enter) after a line of dialogue?"

"Um... wh--"

"That's my first English assignment, dude, and it's rank."

"Wait... isn't rank good?"

"No, bro, rank is... rank. But here, do this paper for me, okay, seeya around, tough guy."

Jake took the notebook from Mike as Mike and his merry gang of football jocks, europeans, and blond chicks disappered to go do something really very cool. He looked at the notebook and i was full of little doodles of flowers and hearts. Jake's stomach did a three sixty when he read in the hearts, Mike and nicki forever.

Pete Akinos ran up to Jake and punched him in the shoulder. Jake didn't feel it. "Dude! DUDE! We're in like Fylnn! You know who that was?!?"

"Yeah", Jake said, slowly putting the notebook in his backpack. "Great."

* * *

Faith Robbins opened her locker and looked at the mirror inside. She smiled to herself, and pulled out one of the Twinkees from the jumbo pack her dad had bought her. 'Always time for a snack', she thought, stuffing it in her metallic pink over flowing pocket book.

She blissfully bopped down the hall to her next class, which was math. She smiled again as she saw that the first row was unoccupied, and proceeded to sit down. She then attacked the plastic wrapper of the Twnikee. Damn... stupid... plastic.. the Twinkee flew out of her hot little hands and onto the floor. And, of course, since slapstick comedy is always funny in written prose form, who would step on it but a slightly dazed looking Jake Bruno.

The thud he lands with is very loud, but not as loud as the black board dislodging from the wall and cracking over the teachers head. And no where near as loud as the laughter coming from the students in the class.

Jake slowly sits up and see the devestation around him, and looks at Faith, who looks back in horror.

The princepal comes in, and yell...
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Postby Jackallen12 on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:17 pm

"Well Mr. Bruno, it seems that you've started your troublemaking on the first day of classes." The prinicpal's scowling face told Jake that he was in some serious shit. As usual Jake tried to form words, but all that came out was a string of "Ums." "Get up and come see me in my office," the principal's voice was raspy and harsh. Jake felt the dread seep into his bones, first day and he was already screwed.
"Mr. Hennigan," a soft voice chimed in from behind Jake.
"Yes miss...."
"Robbins, sir Faith Robbins."
"Yes miss Robbins, what do you want."
The annoyed tone of Mr. Hennigan's voice was intimidating, but Faith persisted.
"It wasn't Jake's fault, I dropped a twinkie and he slipped on it."
A smile began to make its way across Jake's face.
"Then you can join him in my office, you know there is no food allowed in class"
Jake's smile dropped as the principal turned and huffed his way out of the classroom.

Mr. Asmus, the math teacher, rubbed his head with one hand and motioned for Faith and Jake to leave with his other. Jake rose to his feet and held the door for Faith as they walked into the hall.
"Thanks for the attempted save," Jake said with geniuine sincerity.
Faith replied, "
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Fri Mar 22, 2002 6:19 pm

"No Problem, it's the lea..."

"No talking from you two" Snapped Mr. Hennigan. When they got to the office Faith went int first. After waiting for what seemed like half an eternity Faith came out and smiled at Jake.

"Good luck" she wispered.

Jake went into the office and the first thing the principal said was...
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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Sat Mar 23, 2002 12:00 am


Jake ducked.

"Okay, you can get up now, Mr. Bruno."

"Why... why did I have to--"

"Nevermind, Mr. Bruno. Sometimes I like to just say stuff for a more dramatic flair to this otherwise mundane exsistence. Did I tell you I wrote a novel? Well, 'am' writing a novel, until I took this godforsaken job, and that's why you're here, you know that, right?"


The silence surprised them both, Jake had no idea why he had said 'sure' and certainly Mr.Hennigan didn't expect an answer, especially a positive one. Jake quickly recanted.

"I mean, no, sir, no I don't know."

"Know what?"

"The title of your 'am' writing novel, sir."


Maurice Hennigan drew a sip from his vodka flavored coffee. "This isn't going as I had planned, Mr. Bruno. I was going to kill you.

"Wait, wait, don't get up, again, y'know, me saying things for--"

"Flair, yes, very... well done, Mr. Hennigan."


"So why are you here, Bruno?"

"I slipped on a snack cake, sir."

"Oh, yes, of course. Well, you get detention for a week with that lovely girl Fat Robbi-- oh, dear, I mean Faith Robbins."

"But... but... all I did was--"

"Just get out of my sight, you spineless worm. Kids like you will never amount to anything, unless men like me straighten them out early on, so I'm nipping this problem in the bud and giving you two weeks more detention. Now get out of my office."



Jake walked out with his head down, steaming angry. He was so pissed, it wasn't even funny. Detention, and it's not even the sixth period of his first day of the rest of his life.

The halls were empty as he made his way back to class, head down and looking for something to hit. An empty garbage can sat directly in his way, and Jake pulled his leg back and let go a kick that sent the medium sized metal garbage can into and through a window a good fifty feet away. The crash was loud, and he was sure he was really in deep shit now, so Jake ducked into a classroom door.

He found himself in a Home Ec classroom. Not only was it a Home Economics classroom, it was Nikki's Home Economics classroom. Jake turned beet red, and grinned a doofy grin.

"Hi Nikki", he said, his voice cracking like it's never cracked before.

The whole class (which was, of course, full of hot chicks) looked at the red faced, carckled voice Jake Bruno, and....
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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Mon Mar 25, 2002 8:58 pm

"Stay right here, Jake..."

"But, we're in the hallway..."

She pressed her fingers to her red lips and smiled through it. She didn't say anything as she walked away, leaving Jake in the hallway.

"What am I going to--"

A finger tapped him on the shoulder, Jake spun around and...
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Postby Neunstern on Tue Mar 26, 2002 1:50 am

... wanted to run. This girl somehow scared him or what she waa planing to do maybe scared him a bit.

Jake speeded up and spurted off. Luck was definatly not on his side as he was about to speed around the next corner. The floor was wet from ... something that makes the floor wet and slippery. No chance he could hold balance. Jake hit the floor with all his might and shot on without slowing down the tiniest bit.
Trying to get grip on something he reached out his hand and grabbed ...
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Postby Sophacles on Thu Mar 28, 2002 8:03 am

... Mr. Hennigans ankle.

"Oh great," though Jake, "I'm gonna die".

The world went slow motion, Jake just clung to the ankle, and hoped for a quick and painless death. He looked up at the principal, who hadn't seemed to notice 150 lbs of freshman quickly sliding past and holding his ankle. The man was engrossed in some kind of paperwork. Jake wondered what it was the principal was legendary for noticing troublemakers....

Mr. Hennigan fell, and fell hard. A cloud of papers erupted down the hall. The downed principal propped himself up on his elbows and took a look at the trail of paper. At first he just stared blankly, but slowly emotion cret into his face.

"No, oh God," he said softly, "my manualscript, all that hard work. My manualscript, what happened." Tears came into his eyes and he started snuffling and trying to pick up the mess of paper.

Jake was watching this from a nook he had found to hide in after he had stopped sliding. He was considering going to appologize to the despondant principal when the class bell rang and...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sophacles on 2002-03-28 08:09 ]</font>
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Postby Lord Savaunt on Fri Mar 29, 2002 9:04 pm

"... yeah more or less alright. So what's going on?"

Mike looked around real quick to make sure that no one was listening "Come with me I gotta show you something really cool."

Jake followed Mike into one of the bathrooms. Mike started checking under the stalls to be sure that no one else was there. Once he was certain he bent down and started lifting some tiles on the floor.

"You just gotta take a look at this man."

To Jakes surprise he pulled out a...
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Postby Soulskinner on Sun Mar 31, 2002 8:47 pm

A roughly 5inch by 3inch thick plastic card holder, inside was what looked like a really beat up Black Lotus card.
Jake looks at the card with a sense of awe on his face."Dude is that what i think it is?"
Mike just smiles,"Yup, a beta Black Lotus... its my ace in the hole for the Magic tournament. don't tell anyone, i'm the underdog, but with this, victory is mine."
Just then the door opens up and in walks...
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Postby Jackallen12 on Sun Mar 31, 2002 10:04 pm

all 5'6" of Jack. He looked at Jake and Mike standing there and gave them a nod. From the left front pocket of his hawaiian shirt he produced a pack of Lucky Strikes. He walked over to a stall and shut the door. Jake heard the metallic clang, swick of a zippo being lit. Smoke began rising from the stall.
"Dosen't say much does he?" Jake asked Mike.
"Not really, he just kinda hangs around and smokes most of the time, but he's a damn good catcher and so we put up with his weird behavior for when baseball season rolls around again."
"Looking at those damn cards of yours again Mikey?" A voice came from the stall.
"Yep, I'm showin' him my little secret."
"Here, take a look at this card," Jack said.
A small plastic card slid unceremoniously underneath the stall door. Mike picked it up and laughed. He Turned it so Jake could see it. A busty naked girl with her legs spread was marked as the ace of spades.
"That's a real ace in the hole champ. Play that at your little magic game and all the little pimply dorks there will cream their pants and have to leave. It's a sure winner."
"No thanks Jack-ass. I've got one that'll put me on top."
Mike slid the naked poker card back under the stall.
"Your loss Mikey."
Jake was a little dumbfounded by the exchange of words and cards, they might be popular, but this little group was pretty strange. He wondered what he had gotten himself into by befriending them.
"C'mon Jake, lets get out here. Jack see you tonight at the party?" Mike said.
"Have I missed a back to school beerfest ever?" Jack said from behind the stall.
"Nope." Mike replied.
Just as Jake and Mike turned to leave the door swung open reavealing Principal Hennigan. Mr. Hennigan raised his head and sniffed.
"What's going on in here?" he bellowed.
Jake quickly replied....

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Jackallen12 on 2002-03-31 22:12 ]</font>
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Postby Mike Rosenzweig on Tue Apr 02, 2002 3:13 pm

"Me likee partee hardee!!!"

Lee looked at him, and then smiled. "Weird kido, weird. Seeya tonight."

Jake was dubstruck. This had to have been the best frist day of high school in the history of first day's of high school. He took two steps before a hand landed on his back with such force it almost knocked him over. "Jakey! M'man!!!"

Pete put his arm around Jake and smiled his big smile. "Dude, you have no idea how fricking awesome today was, m'man. It was so awesome, I'm going to call you m'man from now on, okay, m'man?"

Jake was going to reply when out of one of the windows from the school someone yelled, 'fags!' which prompted Pete and Jake to look each other, and seperate. Becky, Jake's sister, almost suddenly appeared in front of them.

"There you are, slinky, get your," she looked at Pete with an air of discontent, she didn't like Pete, "friend and your's ass to the car, dad's waiting."

"Okay, okay..."

* * * * *

Faith Robbins let herself into her house and dropped her books down in the foyer. She walked over to the fridge, pulled out a plate of Mallowmars and a huge glass of whole milk, and sank deeply into the big couch that center pieced her living room. She pushed a couple of buttons on the universal remote and was watching her taped All My Children in no time.

This, she thought, was the life.

* * * * *

"So, what are we gonna do, Jakey?"

Pete was hunched over on Jake's bed with his hand on his chin, as if he was really thinking hard, but Jake could almost smell the wood burning. "I dunno, Pete, m'dad said we can't go to a senior party, especially since we're just freshman and that it is still a school night..."

"But if we don't go--"

"I know. It's like social suicide."

They sat in silence. Jake shook his head. "Let's play some NHL on Genesis..."

"Why bother, man? We could just go to my house and use that new Sony thing."

"You should have gotten a Saturn."

"But Sega... I dunno..."

"When has Sega ever let you down?"

"True... it still doesn't solve the problem about the senior party, Jake."

Thay sat in silence some more.

Pete sprung up, "I KNOW!!!--
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Postby Jackallen12 on Mon Apr 08, 2002 9:07 pm

" You could come spend the night at my house, my parents don't care what I do!"

Jake's eyebrow raised and he replied "That is the most dumbass thing I've ever heard. My dad would catch on in a heartbeat."

"Well why don't we sneak out of your house?"

"That's a good idea, but even if we do how are we gonna get there? Neither of us has a car."

A knock on Jake's door cut the conversation short.

"Come in" Jake yelled.

The door opened and his sister walked in. Pete's eyes as always went straight to her chest.

"Hey little bro, I know I'm not always the most benevloent sister, but I heard you got an invite to the party and I just couldn't bear it if my family name was disgraced because of you not showing, so I called up Lee and made some arrangments."

"Wha--- Where is my sister and what have you damn aliens done with her?"

"Very funny, I'm trying to help you out."

"Okay sis, sorry. What's up?"

"The party starts at eleven, and dad should be asleep by ten. Around ten forty-five or so climb out the window and get to the street. Lee said Mike, Jack and her will be waiting at the end of the block to take you to the party. I'm not feeling to well so I'm not going. I'll stay here and cover for you just in case."

"You are the greatest sister in the history of sisters!"

"Thanks alot." Pete managed to say while looking directly at her breasts.

"You, little Petie, will wait at your house for them to pick you up. If you stay over here then Dad will know something is up."

Beck walked over to jake and gave him a little peck on the cheek. "Bro, be good tonight okay. Don't make an ass of yourself."

Jaked smiled at the rare show of sibling affection.

Becca reached over and slapped Pete. "And how many times do I have to tell you to stop staring at my boobs!"

She turned and walked out of the bedroom closing the door behind her. Pete, as always, stared at her ass the entire time.

"Your sister is sooooo hot."

"Shut up assmunch."

Again their conversation was cut short. Jake's dad walked in the room with the telephone. "Jake Phone for you."

His father tossed him the cordless and walked out.

"Hello" Jake said.

"Hi Jake." replied ......
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Postby Caimlas on Fri Apr 12, 2002 2:13 am

Jake quickly pulled his old beanbag from his closet and stuffed it into his bed, double checking that his disguise was convincing. He walked to the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the sink. He moved about the bathroom and pretended to be getting ready for bed. If he didn't do this, he said to himself, his dad might become suspicious, since he was used to Jake's routine. Jake quickly finished his nonsense, and went back to his room.

The window squalked as he opened it, sending a pang of fear to his stomach. The muscles in his arms and fingers grew tense, as he slowly inched the window open enough to remove the screen. He placed the screen under his bed, and crawled out the window, sure to shut the window all but an inch, keeping the warm, humid August air outside.

Realizing how long it had taken him to get out his window, Jake jerked his arm and his head simultaneously to look at his watch. "Shit!" he raspily whispered to himself, as he took off at a sprint for the street corner.

Jake ran down the sidewalk and came to the edge of his block, just in time to see a red Porshe 911 convertable start to pull away from the corner, half a block down. In a mad sprint, and already out of breath, Jake ran down the street towards the vehicle, a dog trying to catch an all-meat delivery van.

Somehow, he managed to catch up with the car. With his last ounce of strength, he hurled himself into onto the back of the Corvette.

Or so he thought.

Not knowing how he miscalculated his jump, Jake flew over Lee's head (who was sitting in the small back seat) and slammed sideways into the back side of the front bucket seats, his head landing in Lee's lap, and his feet dangling out the side of the vehicle.

"What the FUCK was that?!" Matt screamed.
Lee, scared at first, started to laugh.
"Oh, it was just Jake!"
"What the hell do you mean, it was just Jake?!" Matt said, a bit irate. He'd managed to borrow his dad's car, and if something was damaged, he'd never be allowed to touch it again. He quickly turned his head to look, only to see Jake Bruno with his face burried in Lee's miniskirt-clad groin, his hands on her thighs, trying to errect himself in the seat. Lee's face was slightly flushed.

"Oh, I see how it works," Jack said, glancing from the passenger seat.
"Shut your ass, Jack," stuttered Lee, "We were just...."
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