The angry fish

[SarahB1863]

Just wanted to say, the angry fish cracks me up. The scowl is classic.

And from today's strip, is it safe to assume it's a Republican angry fish??

Poor Snooch, he was so happy at first and now he's all freaked out...

[SamPiper]

And from today's strip, is it safe to assume it's a Republican angry fish??

More likely a Teabagger. I actually encountered an angry fish today. Told him I was from the census bureau and he launched into a tirade about how much he hates this "Communist, socialist, liberal government."

I tried REALLY hard not to laugh because all that kept going through my mind was this strip.

[Nykkida]

Republican? What is this generalizing? RAAAAGEE!!!

*cough* Just kidding. I lean toward the more conservative side, but as far as I'm concerned, both parties are crap factories. I'm guessing the fish is meant to represent the horrifying and somewhat unstable people who are still wearing shirts emblazoned with a giant version of Palin's scariest smile. I don't care who you are or what you support, that stuff is just freaky.

[Cygnia]

Game, set, match: Eben

[Death Mage]

What I find funny is the shallow stereotype labeling others as shallow stereotypes. It make the humor cut both ways.

[CapnWellpoint]

Game, set, match: Eben

Well sure. Let me sum up the fight for you.

Fish: "I'm acting out to the most extreme hyperbolized stereotype!"
Eben: "Well that's just silly."
Fish: "Good gravy, you're right!"

I like the idea of a stark raving insane fish that threatens people from the impotent safety of its bowl all day, but I am never a fan of politics in web comics. The worst kinds of political attacks are the ones where the main characters talk to somebody who is villanously wrong in the most contrived possible manner. The main characters state the author's opinions, then the opposing character just lays down like a wet noodle and finds itself incapable of finding a counter-argument. It doesn't really inspire any depth of thinking, it just lets you know the author's political stances.

The last time politics got involved in this comic was with global warming, and that one always bugs me. Does anybody else wonder if science has anything to do with the debate on either side - I mean, really? It's all just corollary data one way or the other; it's the environmental debate in vogue right now. The models are severely flawed, the politics run too deep, and it is impossible to perfrom any quality testing on the subject. People say, "We ought to try to stop global warming anyway, just in case, just because it's safer than not acting," but that doesn't consider any of the damage most of the initiatives do to modern industry or power. We don't even have technology capable of effectively cleaning gaseous pollutants yet - we've got scrubbing towers for dealing magnificently with particulates and liquids in the air, but we may still be a decade or so away from affordable cleaning of CO2.

And as for the ideas of capturing CO2 and CO to bury it somewhere? Yeah, that'll be brilliant the first moment you hit a leak and asphyxiate everyone near the area. You can't just dump collected gasses in a landfill like every other waste! These are major engineering hurdles that will cost millions to fix and years to develop, so maybe we don't need or want to take immediate legal action right away, especially if it turns out the corrolary data doesn't actually indicate causation or if global warming really won't be noticable until 10,000 years from now. In any case, there's enough public consternation about the issue right now that people are interested in creating effective methods to deal with the problem, be it real or not, so eventually there are likely to be some means of cleaning gasses. A webcomic author's opinions are useless to me and everyone else, so thanks, but please stick to comedy.

[Catbunny]

I dunno.
I thought McCarpyist was pretty funny.

[Takhisis]

Actually, I wasn't going for Tea Party so much as a cross between Secessionist redneck, McCarthyist paranoid, and general Archie Bunker-ness. I'm really adamant about NOT trying to promote any political sides in the comic after the last couple of times J. did a filler strip with a political slant, and the backlash thereof.

[Death Mage]

Like I said, the shallow stereotype calling others shallow stereotypes cuts both ways. If anyone believes that the fish is an accurate portrayal of anything that the most fringe of wackos, then you ARE the fish.

[Takhisis]

A webcomic author's opinions are useless to me and everyone else, so thanks, but please stick to comedy.

Actually, the global warming strip and the "gotcha journalism" strip were both J. filling in while I was sick. But thanks for letting me know I'm useless. Much appreciated.

[jameslgrant]

Game, set, match: Eben

Well sure. Let me sum up the fight for you.

I have a better idea:

Go fuck yourself, Cap'n.

Nobody - NOBODY - here asked. Nobody cares what you think. You decided to take this forum and make it your own personal tirade bunker about YOUR political standpoint.

Nobody fucking cares, and you're a cock.

Want to get your own soapbox? Have at it. Go create your own comic. But if you're looking to bust on my wife's writing skills, I have to cordially invite you to go suck your own dick as hard as you can.

[CapnWellpoint]

Game, set, match: Eben

Well sure. Let me sum up the fight for you.

I have a better idea:

Go fuck yourself, Cap'n.

Nobody - NOBODY - here asked. Nobody cares what you think. You decided to take this forum and make it your own personal tirade bunker about YOUR political standpoint.

Nobody fucking cares, and you're a cock.

Want to get your own soapbox? Have at it. Go create your own comic. But if you're looking to bust on my wife's writing skills, I have to cordially invite you to go suck your own dick as hard as you can.

Welcome to the internet. Are you new here?

Look, there's no need to inflame the situation with this string of vulgarities; if you're going to make public comics with any kind of political undertones - no matter which side you support or how you go about doing it - you're going to get some backlash and you're going to need to be thick-skinned about it. If you can't handle criticism then it would be inadvisable to stray from neutral topics.

I'm sorry it pains you that I undervalue your political opinions. I hope you don't beat yourself up about it, but sadly an opinion is only an opinion. Why should yours be of any concern to me when I already ignore Glenn Beck, Nancy Grace, and every other knucklehead who makes a living by sharing their thoughts. Public opinions are worthless, especially when it comes to politics. It would be a better idea to just shuffle all that nonsense under the rug and be done with it, right? Besides, judging by your emotional response, I don't imagine you'd want more guys like me hanging around anyway.

[jameslgrant]

Look, there's no need to inflame the situation with this string of vulgarities

Welcome to the internet, as a certain noob pointed out.

if you're going to make public comics with any kind of political undertones - no matter which side you support or how you go about doing it - you're going to get some backlash and you're going to need to be thick-skinned about it. If you can't handle criticism then it would be inadvisable to stray from neutral topics.

Or there's part three of those choices, and one that's served me well for the last decade in webcomics: telling someone who's being a dick to go fuck himself.

I'm sorry it pains you that I undervalue your political opinions.

Don't even try to delude yourself, chum - nobody cares what you think. This includes myself. Your opinion on political matters means less than nothing. Zero. Zip. MY explosion is over the fact that you decided our forum would be your own personal soapbox for, I'm still shaking my head over this, what you think about pumping CO2 into the ground - a topic that has never, ever come up in our comic.

Remember that Kanye West dickhead? Yeah, you're kinda like that, but not famous or rich or talented.

Besides, judging by your emotional response, I don't imagine you'd want more guys like me hanging around anyway.

I took you to task for being a fucking troll who's decided to make this the Cap'n Show and tell us how to run the comic. This is not the Cap'n show. If you continue, you will be banned. This is the forum for Two Lumps, and not your personal fucking podium to rage about modern politics.

Step the fuck OFF, sonny.

[dink353]

Good grief, fellow readers. Its a comic, its funny, laugh, enjoy, try again next time.

PS: Keep up the good work guys! Have loved this comic for years.

[CapnWellpoint]

More insults, followed up by a threat.

You are a charmer.

You've been nothing but hostile and purile. Honestly, as far as I recall I haven't been called a "noob" by anybody since the last time I played Starcraft on Battle.net. I always thought it was reserved for petty gaming slander between kids.

I don't know how old you actually are, but you haven't done a lot to garner my respect, and therefore I feel unwilling to just let be when you tell me to "step off [or else]." It's like a "Say that to my face and not online and see what happens," thing. Projecting an uncontrolled tsunami of butthurt will never do much of anything to get malcontents under control over the internet. You'd be better off just banning me and moving on to your next task as the self-appointed penis sheriff around here.

That's why I welcomed you to the internet. Have a look around; get to know the place. You might be able to moderate a little better if you get a feel for how to control problems before throwing gasoline on them. For fuck's sake, it wasn't the Captain show until you flipped out and put a burning spotlight over me.

[jameslgrant]

You are a charmer.

Well, I'm totally here to suck up to folks like you.

You've been nothing but hostile and purile. [sic]

You came out the gate trying to dictate what we should and should not put in the comic, and telling my wife that her writing is worthless. Fuck you.

I don't know how old you actually are, but you haven't done a lot to garner my respect, and therefore I feel unwilling to just let be when you tell me to "step off [or else]."

Let me get this straight: because I haven't earned your respect and you think I'm being childish, you're going to try to get the last word (like a little kid)?

Projecting an uncontrolled tsunami of butthurt will never do much of anything to get malcontents under control over the internet. You'd be better off just banning me and moving on to your next task as the self-appointed penis sheriff around here.

Self-appointed?

Good god, man, it's OUR FORUM. Are you brain damaged?

For fuck's sake, it wasn't the Captain show until you flipped out and put a burning spotlight over me.

It still isn't the Cap'n show. I know you feel otherwise. In the end, nobody is here to read your posts. This is not your sandbox. Go fuck yourself.

[CapnWellpoint]

Well all bickering aside, my apologies to your wife for simply assuming she was getting into webcomic politics claptrap. I hadn't realized a guest author was responsible for that. All the same, I still can't say much about being interested in anyone's political opinions through comedic mediums designed with alternative intent. It's not a fault of your wife or anyone in particular; opinion entertainment is a case of familiarity breeding contempt. It's not like it would have been unusual for a webcomic artist to start taking sides in irrelevent public issues, destroying the appeal of the comic for all demographics without similar ideologies. It's been done before, and I don't find it remotely acceptable. Though the forums can be used for praise, you should also be willing to foster some degree of constructive criticism.

On that note comes the important topic of moderation. If you fly off the handle at the foggiest sign of negativity and start posting inflammatory remarks you're likely to just breed a fight, like the one you have here currently. Though you have the power to ban people at your behest, it rings empty as a threat. If I were really angry or just had problems, a ban might not solve the problem: I could just make another account to keep posting, or maybe even do something ridiculous like DDOS your site (though I wouldn't want to do either of those things, personally). Although you have power to protect your site from unwanted individuals, you still have to treat the internet a bit like real life. If somebody remarked that your wife wrote meaningless political opinions into her comics at a bar, would you walk up and slap the drink out of the man's hand just because you have the ability to call the police if things get bad? Even if you owned the bar? Maybe you would, but I certainly hope not, because all you'd be doing is escalating something trivial into a confrontational challenge. Even if it made you feel tough at the time, your machismo would quickly become a bane if you were unlucky enough to discover your opponent carried a weapon or had friends.

The point I was trying to make with the environmentalism splurge was that big issues are complex. There are always a lot of things going on in those areas, and most of the time comedy webcomics just simplify them to the point of being obnoxious. You can't win an argument merely by assuming moral high ground.

[SarahB1863]

Argh, such anger on the Internets!!! Can't we all just split a bottle of vodka and get along??

Anyway, I thought the angry fish storyline was very funny. My own beloved dad is an angry fish, and by 'angry fish' I mean he's taken to making automatic assumptions about things without thinking about them - all Muslims are terrorists, all Democrats are evil, etc. If you try - like Eben does with the fish - to reason with him, he either waves you off or just clams up because he doesn't want to argue - he just wants you to accept his point of view as the truth, without questioning.

At the risk of overanalyzing, that's what I got out of the angry fish strips - that anyone who makes automatic, snap judgements basically isolates themselves and, in the end, remains stuck in the same fishbowl going nowhere.

I mean...that angry fish is alone. Snooch just wanted to be friends (or eat him, hard to tell which). If the angry fish had at least tried to find out who Snooch was, instead of just screaming "SOCIALIST!" at him, maybe they would have both gotten a new buddy. Instead the fish screams, and Snooch goes and hides under the couch. And the fish remains alone. Pretty sad, when you think about it.

Of course, at the end of the strip Eben and the fish become friends - sort of - but only because Eben tricks the fish into believing that they're allies against the suspicious pomeranian across the street. So, I imagine, at the moment the angry fish has his little fishy nose pressed up to the fishbowl glass, glaring at the pom and hating him/her, still full of rage and still very much alone in his little fishbowl.

To me, the strip wasn't about politics - it's about the isolation that any kind of prejudice creates. Oh - and never think you can win an argument against Eben. Because even when you think you've won, you've lost.

Personally I want to see a followup strip where the fish meets the pom - who's a girl - and ends up falling in love with her because she's nice to him and melts his flinty fishy heart. Talk about 'East Meets West'! Of course it's a selfish motivation, I love poms and want to see what a Two Lumps pom would look like. I imagine very poofy, with two beady little eyes...

[jameslgrant]

Well all bickering aside,

Go fuck yourself. This is all the response a self-aggrandizing little troll like you deserves.

I still can't say much about being interested in anyone's political opinions through comedic mediums designed with alternative intent.

Perhaps I haven't been clear: Go fuck yourself.

It's been done before, and I don't find it remotely acceptable. Though the forums can be used for praise, you should also be willing to foster some degree of constructive criticism.

Yourself: the best thing for you to go fuck.

I could just make another account to keep posting, or maybe even do something ridiculous like DDOS your site

Good luck on that, kid.

Let me give you a tiny bit of backstory, since you're obviously too fucking stupid to look this shit up yourself:
Name's J. Grant. 12 years ago I did this little comic called FLEM. It's in my sig. Read through some of that and tell me I don't know my way around some internets.

Don't try to lecture me on this. I've been running server farms and doing inflammatory online comics since before Keenspot existed.

Also, the fact that you think I wouldn't "slap the drink out of a man's hand" at a bar (what are you, a fucking pussy? What's next, hit him with your purse?) means you know nothing about me.

The point I was trying to make with the environmentalism splurge was that big issues are complex.

Nobody cares about your yapping. Fuck off.

You can't win an argument merely by assuming moral high ground.

Who's looking to win? I just want you to go the fuck away.